Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey.
文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用；采用了一些简单的从句。
My opinion on campus marriage Newsday, along with the advance of the society, many countries are now allowed to marriage on campus. we know that different country have different culture. To this issue I want to said that it could be effective our college life. For one thing if we get married on campus ,it will brought some adverse effect .for example effect our study 、effect our life、effect our emotion and so on . for another thing ,if college study on campus marriage we must take more responsible to us ,we need to earn money to maintain this marriage because there are nothing to do without money . TO point of my view, if personal is able to handle on campus marriage I think it ok but if you don’t ,you had better don’t think about it may be someday you will regret
