作者词汇表达较为熟练，学术词汇使用不是很多；使用了部分简单的长难句，可适当增加一些复杂的长句；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
The Car Accident It is terrified for me to see an accident at 11:20 today. As a witness, I must say something about what I was watched. There was a red car who came left, which is a wonderful car of "Baoma". What's more, I like the car extremely, but I really don't like the driver, because the driver ignored the red light above his head and across the sidewalk quickly. Insides, I can't realize the red car whether speeded up or not, while a motorbike came from the right. How crazy, some persons flying from the motorbike. At the same time, I remembered I just looked at my watch, which time is 11:20 in the morning. More and more persons become surrounded with them, and the driver and the girl,who between in the motorbike, were dead. These just I know this accident, and I hope it will give you some help.
