文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
The Car Accident It is terrified for me to see an accident at 11:20 today. As a witness, I must say something about what I was watched. There was a red car who came from left, which is a wonderful car of "Baoma". What's more, I like the car extremely, but I don't like the driver. Because the driver ignored the red light above his head and went through the sidewalk quickly. Insides, I don't know the red whether speed up or not, while a motorbike came from right.Then, I would be like to say sorry for the bad thing happened. Finally, The time, I remembered I just looked at my watch, is 11:20 in the morning. People surrounded with them, and the driver and the girl who between in the motorbike was died. These just I know for this accident, and I hope it will help you something.
