Okay, there's a bank in New Hampshire that doesn't check anything.
我找到一家在新罕布什尔的银行,他们什么资料都不会查。
And before someone else grabs our cupcake space, I say we get on a bus and go up there.
趁别人还没抢走咱们要的店面之前,我们赶紧上公车去一趟吧。
They won't give out their exact address, but I know they're in a mini mall with a white castle.
他们不愿意给详细地址,只说是在小商城里,有白城堡标识。
Better idea. I went to Craigslist, Clicked on "etc"
我有更好的提议。我上了分类广告网站,点了其他类,
and found all kinds of opportunities to make some cash.
找到了各种赚钱的机会。
I'm fighting the instinct to weep, but keep going.
我在强忍眼眶中悲哀的泪,你接着说。
At first I thought I might call pit pig.
看到了一个闻香师工作。
He just wants his armpits smelled, but that's, like, 1,000 sniffs. Big commitment.
结果人家是要找人闻他腋下,但貌似要闻个一千次左右。牺牲颇大。
Or there's the weirdo looking for pretty amputees, but that feels like a bigger commitment.
还有另一个怪人要找个貌美的截肢者,但感觉这活牺牲更大。
So, check it. "Egg donors needed. Ten to twenty grand."
所以,看这个吧。"寻求卵子捐赠者。酬劳一到两万"。
No way, I could never sell my eggs.
别想,我死也不卖我的卵子。
I mean, wouldn't you hate to think you had a kid out there and not know it?
你难道喜欢在心里老惦记着自己可能有个孩子在外面吗?
I probably do. In 2006, I invented the Four Loko and robitussin smoothie.
我早有了吧。我06年发明了能量酒精饮料混感冒糖浆奶昔。
It's pretty much a blackout year.
我整年都在神志不清呢。
Seriously, for the right price I'd sell 'em all.
价钱合理,卖光所有卵子也行。
Really? I mean, I know you've always been tough.
真的吗?我是知道你一直都是女猛将。
To hear you tell it, you were part of an underground baby fight club.
也听你说过你曾是地下婴儿搏击俱乐部的一员。
But don't you wanna be a mom some day?
但你难道没想过有天要当妈吗?
In the history of the world, give me one example of a really good mother.
从古到今,举一个好妈妈的例子给我听听。
You're putting me on the spot. All I can think of is Hilary Duff.
这问题把我难住了。我脑子里浮现的只有希拉里·达芙。
Look, you're complicating this with these things you call emotions.
听我说,这事情很简单,是你感情用事,才这么复杂。
Like it or not... I'm an egg farm.
无论你接不接受...我就是个蛋鸡。
Because we don't know one single person outside of New Hampshire who can lend us that kind of money.
而除了新罕布什尔的那地方,我们找不到人会愿意借我们这么多钱的。
Yoo-hoo, girls, look out the window. Up here! It's me!
姑娘们,看看窗外。看上面,是我!
Oleg and I would like two cupcakes please.
奥列格跟我想要两个小蛋糕。