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Ah, I need to go on a diet.
啊，我得节食了
I feel like a sausage in my jeans.
我的腿像香肠一样塞在牛仔裤里
Please. I can't even tell you've had three kids.
拜托，我根本看不出你是三个孩子的妈
You can't, right?
看不出来吗
No.
当然
Oh, I was reading about this new cabbage-soup diet.
噢，我看到了一种白菜汤节食餐
Oh!
噢
Oh, friend time over. Time for business meeting.
噢，闺蜜时间结束，生意时间到
Bette Midler.
贝特·迈德尔
Barbara Hershey.
芭芭拉·荷西
Okay.
好吧
After some setbacks, we're ready to
历经艰辛，我们投资的房产
put our investment property on the market!
可以开售了
Yay! Yes!
好哎，棒
I'm excited!
我太激动了
I know!
我知道
So I just picked these up from the printer
我刚把这些印出来
for our open house on Tuesday.
给我们周二的开放参观日做准备
We look like a band of nurses.
咱们看起来像一帮护士
We look hot.
很性感啊
Oh, that reminds me...
噢，这让我想起来
You know how people always have cookies at open houses?
你知道开放参观的时候会在房子里摆些饼干吧
Well, I was thinking we should have
我在想我们可以准备
mini quiches and bacon instead.
小的乳蛋饼和培根
Ah, but that sounds expensive.
啊，但那个很贵吧
You know what? Yeah, you're right.
你说得对
Yeah, we'll just put that in the future file.
没错，还是把它列在未来规划里吧
Yes.
好
And the next thing is,
下一件事
oh, I was reading about these team-building workshops
我了解到一些公司会为了振奋士气和解决问题
that companies do for morale and problem-solving...
而开展一些研讨会
Honey, I appreciate your initiative,
哈妮，我很欣赏你的主动
but I don't think we have the money
但是我不觉得现在有闲钱
for nonessentials right now.
花在这些没用的东西上
Okay. That makes sense.
好吧，有道理
Then there's just one more item of business to discuss.
还剩一个关于生意的问题
Um, I noticed in our monthly expenses,
呃，我注意到月开销中
we spent $500 on something called "Madame x-ing"?
有500美元支付给了一个叫“西英女士”的人
Oh, that's pronounced Madame Xing.
噢，她叫邢女士
She's my fortune teller.
她是我的算命师
What?
什么
We need her. We can't sell the house without her.
我们需要她，我们卖房子必须要她的帮助
Now, how much extra was it to print these fliers in color?
这些彩印额外花费了多少钱
Sorry, what is this fortune teller?
抱歉，算命师是用来干嘛的
I don't know how to explain it to you
如果你没从字面上理解的话
if you can't get it from the title.
我也不知道还能怎么解释
She tells fortunes.
她能算命
Why is she on our payroll?
为什么要付钱给她
I've never made an important decision in my life
我每次做重大决定
without consulting Madame Xing.
都少不了邢女士
Should I marry Louis?
我该嫁路易斯吗
Should I get matching bangs?
我该弄个情侣刘海吗
Should I give up secretly wanting to be a ventriloquist?
我该默默放弃成为腹语者这条路吗
So, what'd she say?
她怎么说
Madame Xing was right...
邢女士说得都对
The puppet theater boom never came.
木偶剧场从没兴旺过
I'm sorry.
对不起
I just can't wrap my head around
我实在不理解
us spending $500 a month on a fortune teller.
每月花500美元在一个算命师身上
It's just part of our culture.
这是我们文化的一部分
Consulting with a fortune teller
很多中国人
is something a lot of Chinese people do,
都找算命师算命
like using the dishwasher as a drying rack,
就像我们把洗碗机当成晒衣架
or not saying "Please."
就像我们不说“请”这个词
Here it comes, Trent.
我要投球了，特伦特
No shame in being beat by a girl.
被女生打败没啥好丢人的
I'm secure like that.
我很坦然
Strike!
好球（指没有击到的球）
We all know it's a strike, Brian!
我们都知道那是颗好球，布莱恩
I better get home, guys.
我要回去了，大家
See you Saturday, Eddie.
周六见，埃迪
See ya.
再会
Saturday is her birthday.
周六是她生日
What are you gonna get her?
你要给她什么
Ladies love haikus.
女生都喜欢绯句
Clever crafted word parties.
聪明地将各种辞藻组合起来
Ladies love haikus.
女生们都爱这种诗
Nah, son. I'm trying to impress my woman,
才不要，伙计，我想要打动她
not depress my woman.
而不是让她忧郁
Why don't you get her a tube top from the Delia's catalogue?
你为啥不从迪莉娅那里给她选个抹胸
I've got something even classier in mind.
我其实有个更赞的想法
Nice. Does it open, and can you put a little picture inside?
很好，可以打开吗，能在里面放张小照片吗
No, ma... Why you got to point out
不能，为啥你非要
what the necklace don't do?
问这些项链本来就不该有的功能
It's just a beautiful necklace.
这就是个漂亮的项链而已
It better be for $49.99.
它最好真的卖49.99美元
How are you gonna pay for that?
钱从哪来的
Oh, I got the loot.
噢，我有外快
I'm really good at saving.
我可是存钱好手
$5?!
5美元
Barry's coming?
巴里要来了吗
Only for a few days.
只来几天
He's got business in Orlando.
他在奥兰多有个生意
I haven't seen him in years.
我有几年没见过他了
Right, ever since you gave him money for that vitamin business.
自从你给他那桩维他命生意投了钱，就再也没见过他
I told you nobody wanted vitamin "L."
我说过没人需要维他命L的
Vitamin Luscious was before its time.
感官维他命都是陈年旧事了
He's a leech, Louis.
路易斯，他是个榨你的水蛭
Like a barnacle.
像藤壶一样
Or a leech.
或者根本就是水蛭
Well, he's not perfect, but he means well.
他做得不够完美，但他本意是好的
And he's always liked you.
而且他很喜欢你
Remember, he brought you that nice basket of fruit
你记得吗，他上次来
the last time he visited?
给你带了个漂亮的果篮
He gave me seven bananas in a babygap shopping bag.
他把七根香蕉装在Gap婴儿系列购物袋里送给了我
Dad, can I start working at the restaurant again?
爸，我能重新在餐厅工作吗
Of course.
当然
And get paid?! Nope.
给我钱吗，不给
With all the delays in your mom's investment property sale,
因为你妈妈的卖房计划一拖再拖
money's tight right now.
最近资金很紧张
If you really need money, I saw a "Help wanted" Sign
如果你真的很需要钱，我在乡村俱乐部的
on the bulletin board at the country club.
告示板上看到一个牌子，上面写着要招人
Ooh, some ladies need assistance putting lotion on by the pool?
噢，泳池那里有位女士需要帮忙擦乳液的吗
It's a family new to the neighborhood,
他们一家刚搬到这里
and they have a baby and need help around the house.
他们有个婴儿，需要人帮忙
Do I get to put l... No. No ladies need lotion.
我能给，不行，没有女士需要擦乳液
Dmx
Dmx？
I prefer to be called Earl when I'm holding my baby.
当我抱小孩的时候，我更希望别人叫我厄尔
Honey, I can't wait for you to talk to Madame Xing yourself
哈妮，我等不及让你亲自和邢女士谈话了
and see how important she is to our business.
这样你就知道她对我们的生意有多重要
Well, I always like to keep an open mind.
好吧，我思想很开放的
Like the first time I heard about cream cheese,
就像我第一次听说奶油奶酪
I was like, "Blech!"
当时我很反感
Now, I'm all, "Mmm, mmm, mmm!
可是现在我已经超级习惯了
Can I get some bagel with my cream cheese?
能给我的百吉饼弄点奶油奶酪吗
You know what I'm saying?"
你懂的吧
It's tasty.
那个很好吃
Wei?
喂
Madame Xing, it's Jessica.
邢女士，我是杰西卡
I'm here with my business partner, who I told you about.
我和我的生意合伙人在一起，我和你说过她
Ah, yes. The skeptic.
啊，我记得，就那个怀疑论者
You have to ask Madame Xing a question
你必须要问邢女士一个
that you want the answer to.
你想要知道答案的问题
Okay.
好吧
Um, will the dolphins make the playoffs?
呃，海豚队能打赢季后赛吗
You should stop watching football.
你不能再看橄榄球了
It's not good for your heart.
对你心脏不好
Heart disease runs in my family.
心脏病是我的家族病
How did you know that?
你是怎么知道的
You just got Xing'd.
邢女士说中了
Okay, now that Honey believes, we can move on to business.
好了，哈妮已经相信了，我们可以谈生意了
We're putting the house on the market next Tuesday, and I...
我们下周二要开售，然后
No. Don't put the house on the market for three months.
不要，最近三个月都不要出售那个房子
There's darkness that needs to be cleansed.
还有脏的地方没有清理干净
Okay. Okay?
好的，好的
And don't bet on the dolphins.
还有不要下注海豚队
Not with that secondary.
也别赌他们是亚军
Oh, it is so lucky we called her.
噢，还好我们给她打了电话
We need to change the open-house date on the fliers.
我们需要把传单上的开售日期改掉
You can't be serious.
你不是认真的吧
You heard Madame Xing.
你听见邢女士的话了
You don't take any of my suggestions,
我的建议你一点都不采纳
but this fortune teller makes one crazy statement,
但这个算命的说了什么鬼话
and you do it, no questions asked?
你都毫无质疑地照做吗
I value her opinion.
我很重视她的意见
And she values your money.
她却看重你的钱
500 bucks a month so she can tell us about darkness,
每月给她五百美金，让她告诉我们房子里有脏东西
but mini quiches and a seminar are wasteful?
而买小乳蛋饼和开一次研讨会就是浪费钱
Don't blame me just because your ideas are bad.
别因为你自己的点子烂就怪我
You think you're so smart, Jessica,
杰西卡，你自以为聪明绝顶
but you're really just a sucker.
其实你就是个傻子
Thank you for being honest.
谢谢你实话实说
Now allow me to be honest. It's over.
现在到我实话实说了，结束了
What is?
什么结束了
Everything... our friendship, the business, book club,
所有一切，我们的友谊，生意，读书会
the sandwich punch card we share... done-zo.
还有我们共用的三明治集点卡，都结束了
Oh my god.
天啊
Dmx
Dmx!
Dark Man X!
黑暗人X
You look older in person.
你真人看起来更老一点
Fatherhood ages you.
当爸爸会让你衰老
I'm tired.
我累坏了
Emotional.
感情倦怠
Crying. Yelling!
我心在哭泣，在呐喊
All at the same cotton commercial.
都是那些重复的棉花广告害的
It's the fabric of our lives, G.
这是组成生命的纤维
Man, I can't wait to tell all my friends!
天啊，我等不及告诉我朋友了
Sorry, little man.
对不起，小伙子
I can't have you blowing up my spot.
我不能让你把这事搞大
I'm gonna need you to sign and initial
我需要你签订这个
this nondisclosure agreement.
保密协议
It's the same one Oprah used on Stedman.
和奥普拉给斯特德曼那个一样
So... I can't tell anyone I'm working for you?
我不能告诉其他人，我在这里工作吗
Nope. Oh.
不能，噢
So, what do you want me to do?
想让我做什么
Babyproof the living room,
检查一遍客厅，确保宝宝不会受伤
blend some peas for Genesis,
给吉纳瑟思拌些豆子吃
and make sure to put lavender drops in her cloth diapers.
还要在她尿布上滴些薰衣草液
Why don't you just use disposable diapers?
为什么不用一次性的尿布啊
'Cause I ain't trying to leave some big-ass carbon footprint.
因为我要减少碳排放
I hope the couch is gonna be okay.
你睡那个沙发可以吧
Aw, are you kidding me, man?
你在逗我吗，兄弟
We shared a twin futon when we roomed up in Jersey.
咱俩在新泽西住一屋的时候，睡的还是双人床垫呢
Remember that? Trying to put a new vitamin out there.
你记得吗，咱俩一起研究新型维他命
Testing it on ourselves.
还在我们自己身上做实验
R-remember how you grew that lustrous arm hair?
还记得你的手变得光泽发亮吗
It kept getting caught on my watch.
毛发总卡在表带里
That's right.
没错
Uh-oh!
噢噢
Eddie, how you doing?!
埃迪，你好
I'm Emery. It's Uncle Barry.
俺是埃默里，我是你的巴里叔叔
I've never seen you before.
我以前总没见过你
I wasn't born when you were my dad's friend.
你跟我老爹在一起玩时我还没出生
You're raising kings, Louis.
你的孩子都不错，路易斯
You're raising kings.
真是不错的孩子
Uh-oh!
哇喔
Lady J!
杰西卡小姐
We're not giving you any money, Barry.
我们不会给你钱的，巴里
Well, your hands look soft and young, girl.
姑娘，你的手真是柔软细嫩啊
She's kidding.
她在开玩笑
She knows you're not here to ask for money.
她知道你不是来要钱的
Right? Aw, come on.
对吗，拜托
Barry's ballin' now.
巴里现在可厉害了
I sell new and used goods
我现在在全世界卖货
at a flexible price for people worldwide.
价格灵活的新货二手货都卖
Good for you.
真不赖啊
You know what? Only in town for a few days.
我只是到这儿来呆上几天
Then I'll be out of your hair in no time.
然后我就会消失了
But as a token of my appreciation...
但是为了聊表谢意
You ready?
你准备好了
It's a wooden elephant from Bhutan.
这是不丹的木象
Barry, you shouldn't have.
巴里，你不用送我礼物的
Babar was based on him.
它的原型是大象巴巴
Babar was a French elephant who went on adventures.
巴巴是一只冒险的法国象
He we... he went to jail, went to Hawaii.
然后他去了监狱，然后又去了夏威夷
All those places.
好多好多地方
Wow.
哇
What are you doing?
你在干什么
I cut Honey off. It's over.
我跟哈妮断交了，结束了
But she's your friend.
但她是你的朋友
You know how I get when somebody crosses the line.
有些人太过分了，你知道我会怎么做
I can't forgive them.
我不能原谅她们
I know. I'm reminded every day.
我知道，我每天都能记起
You probably don't even remember why you cut these people off.
说不定你都不记得为何跟她们断交的
That one went off-registry.
那个人送的结婚礼物没有在清单里
That one tried to upstage me with her hairdo.
这个用她的发型跟我抢镜头
And that one married a man wealthier than you.
那人的老公比你有钱
Why do you even still have this photo?
那你为什么还留着这些照片
Because I look amazing.
因为我在上面很美
You know, if you keep cutting people off,
如果你一直跟朋友断交
you're not gonna have any friends.
最后你就没有朋友了
Well, I would rather have no friends than too many.
那我宁缺勿滥
You could stand to cut a few people off.
你倒是可以跟某些朋友断交
One in particular.
特别是那个谁
Jessica.
杰西卡
You haven't seen Barry in years.
你好多年没看到巴里了
He's an idiot, and you guys shared a room in New Jersey
他是个蠢货，你们一起在新泽西
for barely two months.
只不过住了两个月
Those were a crazy two months, though.
那两个月很疯狂
We invented a vitamin and played tons of basketball.
我们研发了一种新维他命，还天天打篮球
Hi, Honey.
嘿，哈妮
My mom asked me to return the things you left at our house.
我妈让我把你留在我们家的东西还给你
Do you believe this, Evan?
你能相信吗，埃文
Your mom's cutting me out of her life like I'm nothing to her.
你妈跟我断交了，好像我对她来说什么也不是
I was told not to engage with you.
她不许我跟你多说
Okay.
好吧
Fine.
好吧
I'll just give her back her things.
我也会把她的东西还给她
You won't find anything.
你什么也找不到的
Chinese people take care of their possessions.
中国人不会把自己的东西乱放
Be good to yourself, Honey.
照顾好你自己，哈妮
I always liked you.
我一直很喜欢你
How did she look?
她看起来怎么样
Did she look sad?
很沮丧吗
Actually, she looked great. She jogs a lot.
实际上她看起来好极了，她经常慢跑
Well, was anybody else there?
还有人在她家了吗
Deidre? Carol-Joan?
黛德丽，卡罗尔琼
Was she having book club?
她去读书会了吗
I don't understand.
我不明白
I thought she was your best friend.
我以为她是你最好的朋友
There is no such thing as a best friend.
世上不存在最好的朋友
That's just something Hello Kitty made up
不过是Hello Kitty为了卖更多的Hello Kitty
to sell more Hello Kitty.
编出来的童话罢了
Hey. Where you been?
嗨，你去哪了
I haven't seen you in forever.
我好久没看到你了
Oh, my God. You won't believe what Becca G. Just ate.
天呐，你不会相信贝卡刚刚吃了什么
We're in the cafeteria...
我们在食堂
Babe, I just got to my locker.
宝贝，我才打开我的储物柜
Can I please just have two minutes to unwind?
我能放松两分钟吗
Yeah, of course.
当然可以
You seem tired.
你看起来很累
Are you not getting enough sleep or eating enough protein?
你是不是失眠，还是没吃多少蛋白质
I just want to put away my math book,
我就是想把我的数学书放回去
clean out the cheez-its from my bag,
把包里的饼干清清
and say "What's up" To fat Joe.
再对肥仔乔打个招呼
You're cranky.
你好暴躁
I'm working a lot, okay?
我上班太累了，好吗
I'm working... A bunch.
太多事了
I didn't know that. Where are you working?
我不知道，你在哪里上班
I can't tell you. Why not?
不能告诉你，为什么
Well, mom, I can't tell you.
老妈，我不能告诉你
You know what?
你知道吗
I don't like you like this.
我不喜欢你这样
And for your information, she ate a spider.
还有告诉你，她吃了一只蜘蛛
Who did?
谁
Becca G.!
贝卡
Rebecca!
瑞贝卡
Gonzalez!
贡扎勒兹
And she said, "There are no nuns here by that name."
她说“这儿的修女没有叫这个的”
Wait, she was "Sister Act"-ing you?
等等，她说的是《修女也疯狂》里的台词
Oh, see, you get me, Louis.
看，路易斯，你拆穿我了
I do. Which brings me to this.
没错，所以我想说的是
Remember that idea I had about
记得我有个主意吗
selling new and used goods at a flexible price?
以灵活的价格出售新货和二手货
Yes.
没错
Well, I'm trying to find investors.
恩，我在找新的投资者
Which is why I'm in town.
这就是为什么我来这里
And I figure, why not bring my boy Louis in
我就想到，干嘛不邀请老伙计路易斯呢
on the ground floor?
我们从头一起干
Barry, I thought you weren't going to
巴里，我以为你这次是来找我
ask me for money this time.
不是为了要钱
Louis, I'm not asking you for money.
路易斯，我不是找你要钱
I'm asking you to invest in a business.
我在邀请你投资生意
A viable business.
非常有前景的生意
Barry, we're sitting in a business I'm invested in.
巴里，我们现在就坐在我投资的生意里
This is your place? Yes!
这地方是你的，没错
Oh, in that case, I'll have the tomahawk chop, medium rare,
那样的话，我要战斧牛排，四分熟
grill lines on both sides, please.
两面都要煎
Who are you talking to?
你在跟谁说话
Whoever's in charge of the chops.
负责做牛排的人
Okay, so is this used goods thing a legitimate business?
好吧，那卖二手货是合法生意吗
How many other investors are there?
还有几个投资人
Well, no one has committed per se,
本来没有其他人了
but there are some interested parties.
但有几个人很感兴趣
Um, there's a frenchman in New Delhi.
比如新德里有个法国人
That's it?
就这样吗
Yeah.
是啊
You and a frenchman in New Delhi.
只有你还有新德里的法国人
And, surprise, Louis calls and Barry's flight is delayed.
惊讶吧，路易斯打电话说巴里的航班延期了
I don't understand why he lets this guy take advantage of him.
我不明白为何他让这个人占便宜
Um, can we go to our room?
额，我们能回房间吗
We're halfway through a lite-brite clown.
我们在用Lite-Brite做小丑
Unless... You want to join us?
你想跟我们一起做吗
No, no, you go ahead.
不，不，你们去吧
Just watching "Wheel" By yourself, huh?
你在一个人看《幸运大转轮》吗
You know, even back in D.C.,
就算是以前在华盛顿
I never saw you with any friends.
我也从没见过你的朋友
Where are all your friends?
你的朋友们都在哪儿呢
Why?
为什么
Are you lonely?
你不孤单吗
Yes, you do.
是的
So, you were saying?
你之前说的什么
Excuse me?
你说什么
Earlier, you were saying something about
你之前不是说过的嘛
a cabbage-soup diet?
白菜汤节食餐
Are... are you seriously trying to act like
你刚和我要绝交
you didn't just end our friendship?
然后又装作什么也没发生吗
I decided to forgive you.
我决定原谅你了
Well, I don't forgive you.
但我不原谅你
You were dismissive of all of my ideas.
你对我的想法不屑一顾
You dropped me without a second thought.
你想都没想就抛弃了我
You sent your son to return my things.
你让你的儿子来归还我的东西
And... and... and one thing's not even mine!
而且有一件东西还不是我的
What is this?
这是什么
I-is this some sort of warning?
这算是一种警告吗
Okay, fine.
好吧
We can do your mini quiches and bacon.
我们可以买你说的小乳蛋饼和培根
But no team-trust-falls workshop.
但不要参加团队信任研讨会
If I fall on somebody, I want them to die.
如果有人骗我，我要他们死翘翘
Jessica, I am tired of you not treating me like an equal.
杰西卡，我受够了你对我的不公平对待
I can flip houses on my own.
我可以自己卖房子
You were right.
你说得对
We're done-zo.
我们绝交了
It's okay.
没事的
Can you organize these booties, please?
你可以把这些战利品整理好吗
What's with the frown, B.?
怎么皱起眉头来了
You know I can't have that negative energy around Genesis.
我不许吉纳瑟思周围有这种负能量
Girl trouble.
女生的问题
Extrapolate.
说来听听
Her birthday's on Saturday,
她这周六过生日
and that's the only reason why I took this job...
这就是我出来打工的原因
So I can get her this.
这样我就能给她买这个
Yo! Is that one of those necklaces that sing?
哟，这不是那条会唱歌的项链吗
Why's everybody got to talk about what the necklace don't do?!
为什么大家都要说项链做不到的事情
Anyway, she might not even be my girlfriend anymore.
不管怎么说，她可能不再是我的女朋友了
I'm working so much, I don't see her.
我工作太忙了，我没有时间陪她
And when I do, I'm too tired.
当我有时间的时候，我又太累了
And I can't tell her why because of your Oprah muzzle.
我没办法向她解释，因为签了保密协议
I know what you need... To chill.
我知道你需要放松
Let's take a trip out to my greenhouse.
我们一起逛逛花房吧
Welcome to my horticultural wonderland
欢迎来到我的园艺天地
of rare and exotic orchids.
这些都是稀有的外地兰花
Do you smoke them?
你吸食它们吗
What?!
什么
No, I love 'em.
不，我爱它们
This is Beatrice.
这是碧翠斯
This is Citadelle. And this is Denise.
这是西塔德尔，这是丹妮斯
O-kay?
好吧
When I first started growing orchids,
我一开始养兰花的时候
I thought they needed the most expensive soil and lights
我以为它们需要最昂贵的土壤和光照
to blossom.
才会开花
And they died.
结果它们都死了
That's when I realized that all they really needed
那时候我意识到它们真正需要的
was time and attention.
是时间和关照
You don't need to get your girl a gift.
你不需要给你的女朋友买礼物
You need to give her your time.
你需要花时间陪她
Are any of these flowers boys, or are they all girls?
这些花都是男孩儿还是女孩儿
Girls?
女孩儿
These are women.
她们是女人
Turn the lights off!
把灯关上
Are you hiding?
你在躲人吗
Yes, from Barry.
是的，躲巴里
He asked me for money. You were right about him.
他向我要钱，你说对了
Well, I was wrong about Honey.
但我误会了哈妮
Let me guess... she didn't accept your forgiveness?
让我猜猜，她没有接受你的原谅
No, she didn't.
没有
I walked in there, I acted like nothing happened,
我走进去，我装作什么也没发生
and I forgave her, and she didn't accept it.
我说我原谅她了，但她不接受
Did you say you were sorry?
你有说对不起吗
You know I didn't.
你知道我没有
Well, apologize to her.
那就向她道歉嘛
Well, what would I even say?
那我要说什么
Uh, "I'm sorry"?
说对不起
Look, I know you care about her.
我知道你关心她
You just need to show her your friendship matters.
你只是需要让她知道你们的友谊很重要
Well, you need to show Barry his friendship doesn't.
你需要让巴里知道他的友情不重要
I'm gonna cut him off.
我要和他绝交
I'm just thinking about how to do it.
我正在思考怎么办
Just rip off the band-aid.
直接把创可贴撕掉嘛
You know I don't like to rip off band-aids.
你知道我不喜欢直接撕下来
I like to wet them for a few days
我喜欢把它润湿几天
and hopefully they just come off in the shower.
希望哪天洗澡的时候就掉下来了
Get out. Come on.
快出来啊
L-train!
我的路易斯
I'm gonna need you to go on a Mayo run.
我正要你去买点蛋黄酱
Barry, there's not gonna be a Mayo run.
巴里，不要提买什么蛋黄酱了
I'm not giving you any money for your business,
我不会给你的生意送钱了
and you need to find somewhere else to stay.
你找别的地方住吧
How you gonna do me like that?
你怎么这么对我
We're friends, Louis!
我们是朋友啊，路易斯
Are we? What's my last name?
是吗，我姓什么
Train?
特雷恩吗
Barry, I'm cutting you off.
巴里，我要和你绝交
You're gonna miss out on an amazing business opportunity.
你会错过一个巨大的商机
I don't think I'm gonna lose sleep over your garagesale.Com.
我不会为你的旧货买卖网站而失眠的
For your information, it's called Ebay.
你听好了，那叫易趣网
Dumb name!
好蠢的名字
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
Is that DMX?
那是Dmx吗
I've been arranging "Ghetto Life" For the piccolo.
我一直在用短笛编排《贫民窟生活》的曲子
I actually wrote "Ghetto Life" On the piccolo.
这首歌其实就是用短笛吹出来的
You hear that, Genesis?
你听到了吗，吉纳瑟思
Anything is possible.
一切皆有可能
I'm gonna need you to walk soon, sweetie.
我希望你不久就可以走路了，宝贝
Happy Birthday.
生日快乐
I'm sorry I've been such a jerk lately.
很抱歉我最近一直像个混蛋
I've been trying to get you some stupid expensive necklace,
我一直想给你买一副又贵又蠢的项链
but DMX helped me realize it's not about presents,
但是Dmx让我意识到礼物不重要
it's about presence.
陪伴最重要
Oh, I'd rather have a necklace.
我更想要项链
Psych!
别激动
DMX drove his el-do to my house!
Dmx把他的凯迪拉克开到我家门前
This is the best birthday gift I've ever gotten!
这已经是我收到过最好的礼物了
Take care of Tomiko.
照顾好都美子
And be sure to use fertilizer without urea.
一定不要用含尿素的肥料
And that's how bagel Mondays can turn into productive Tuesdays.
这样你就把百吉饼星期一转化为具有生产力的星期二
Okay, we're gonna shift gears a little bit
我们现在换种方式
and have some fun with some role-play improv exercises.
玩一玩即性角色扮演练习
We call this jobprov,
我们称之为即兴工作
because success doesn't come with a script.
因为成功不会自带剧本
Okay, I need two volunteers to help us get started.
我需要两名志愿者才能开始
Yes, blonde lady in the front.
好的，坐在前排的金发女士
And...
还有
Oh, she's married, you perverts.
她已经结婚了，你们这群变态
I volunteer.
我来
Great.
好
So, in this scene,
那么在这一幕里
you are a customer returning a walkman
你是想来退随身听的顾客
to a manager at circuit city.
你是电路城的经理
And... Jobprov!
即兴工作开始
What are you doing here?
你来这儿做什么
Showing you your friendship matters.
告诉你我们的友情很重要
But you hate this stuff.
但是你讨厌来研讨会
You think it's a waste of money.
你觉得这是浪费钱
I do.
是的
But you don't.
但你不觉得
And we're partners.
我们是伙伴
I'm sorry, Honey.
哈妮，对不起
I'm sorry, too.
我也对不起你
I miss you.
我好想你
Hello Kitty was right.
Hello Kitty是对的
There is such a thing as a best friend.
世上有最好的朋友
Hello Kitty.
我是Hello Kitty
Frog best friend Keroppi.
你是大眼青蛙Keroppi
And... Scene.
即兴工作结束
Okay. That was terrible.
这太糟糕了吧
Really just the worst.
这是最糟糕的表演了
There was no walkman.
没有出现随身听
Even if there was, I don't know why she's returning it.
即使出现了，我也不知道她为什么要退货
Apparently there are no doors at this circuit city,
很明显的是电路城没有大门
if that's even where we were, because nobody mentioned it.
尽管我们就在电路城，因为你们一个人都没有提到它
And from an H.R. Standpoint,
从一个人力资源经理看来
a long interracial same-sex hug?
一个跨种族同性的漫长拥抱吗
Now, this is exactly why Arby's is a shadow of its former self.
这就是为什么Arby's一如既往的糟糕
I
我
Once Jerry finishes installing the water heater,
只要杰瑞装完热水器
we will be all set for the open house.
我们就能出售这栋房子了
Thank you for going back to the original list date.
谢谢你把日期调了回来
No, you were right.
不，你说得对
It would have been silly to wait three months.
再等三个月实在是很蠢
Madame Xing doesn't know everything.
邢女士什么都不懂
Okay, so, good news... Water heater fit perfectly.
好消息是热水器装好了
Bad news... you guys have black mold all through your attic.
坏消息是你们阁楼上全是黑霉
Black mold? Oh, yeah.
黑霉，恩
And it is a serious health hazard.
对健康危险很大
I don't even want to be standing here, breathing this air.
我都不想站在这里呼吸空气
Like, I need to get out.
我要出去了
Okay, but it is absolutely illegal
你们除掉黑霉之前
for you to sell this house until you have it removed.
售卖这栋屋子绝对是违法的
But how long will that take?
除掉黑霉要多久啊
About three months.
大概三个月
No way.
不可能吧
We just got Xing'd.
邢女士说中了
