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Why does your mother have to announce
为什么你妈妈要在一大早五点半
Who's hosting thanksgiving at 5:30 in the morning?
通知今年的感恩节聚会由谁举办
It's her ritual, Louis.
这是她的习惯，路易斯
She wakes up at 4:00, sweeps the driveway,
她四点就起床了，扫一扫车道
Looks at old photographs next to a candle,
看看蜡烛旁边的老照片
Then calls.
然后打电话
But your mom chooses Connie and Steve to host every year.
但每一年你妈妈都选择由康妮和史蒂夫举办
And Connie never lets me forget it.
而且康妮从未让我忘怀
But this year is different.
但今年不同了
We live in Florida now.
我们现在可是住在佛罗里达
I've been sending crates of these babies
我已经连续几周
To my mother for weeks.
给我妈妈寄了这些宝贝
Who could say no to this face?
谁能抗拒这张脸啊
"Juice-ica."
橘西卡
Mom, what have you decided?
妈，你的决定是什么
Yes! Yes!
赢了，赢了
Why are you staring at the phone?
你干嘛一直盯着电话
We already got the good news—we're hosting thanksgiving.
我们已经收到好消息了啊，感恩聚会由我们举办
I'm waiting for the loser's concession call.
我在等失败者的低头电话
Huang residence.
黄氏府宅
Congratulations, sister.
恭喜你啊，妹妹
I'm excited to spend thanksgiving
我很期待今年在
At your house this year.
你家过感恩节
I just hope we can do as good a job as you and Steve.
我只希望我们能办得像你和史蒂夫那么成功
Don't forget to bring your famous potato salad.
别忘了带你拿手的土豆沙拉来哦
Can't wait. Can't wait.
我等不及了，我等不及了
It's on like donkey Kong.
大战如火如荼开始了
Connie can't wait to see us crash and burn in front of mom.
康妮迫不及待想看我们在妈面前搞砸聚会
Well, lucky for us, I run a semi-successful restaurant.
那我们真幸运，我有一家半成功的餐厅
Together, we can make this thanksgiving great.
携手合作，我们一定能成功举办这次感恩节
If not, it's back to D.C., potato salad,
如果不成功，就要回华盛顿特区，继续吃土豆拉沙
And Steve making everybody play charades.
还有史蒂夫老让大家玩猜字谜
How was I supposed to know that was Ronald Mcdonald?
我怎么可能知道答案是麦当劳叔叔
He was just miming a big Afro.
他就用手比了个爆炸头而已
Your guess made everyone uncomfortable.
你的答案让大家不舒服
Boys, big news!
小伙子们，大消息
This year, we're hosting thanksgiving.
今年我们要举办感恩聚会
Nice! Sweet! Yay!
好耶，真棒，耶
I can't wait to hang with cousin Justin
我迫不及待想要和贾斯汀表哥一起玩了
And listen to music.
一起听歌
But you like rap and he likes grunge.
但是你喜欢饶舌，而他喜欢油渍摇滚
I have found our common ground.
我已经找到我们的相通之处了
Pearl Jam.
珍珠果酱乐队
"Pearl Jam"?
珍珠果酱乐队
That's what I'm calling mayonnaise from now on.
从今以往我都称他们为蛋黄酱了
So, unless anybody needs to use the bathroom
那么，除非有人又要
For a third time...
要去上厕所
I drink a lot of juice, okay?
我喝了很多果汁，可以吗
...I call this thanksgiving planning session to order.
我宣布本次感恩节聚会计划会议正式开始
This year, we're going to create our own traditions
今年我们要创办属于我们自己的传统
And blow everyone's mind.
要让所有人惊艳
I thought I would invite mom's favorite person, Oscar Chow.
我想我会邀请妈最喜欢的人，奥斯卡·周
I hope you don't mind that I borrowed this robe.
希望您不介意我借用这件睡袍
Very swish.
非常时髦
They like to re-enact scenes from "Dynasty."
就像是在演《都铎王朝》
Also, since Connie always buys canned cranberry sauce,
还有，由于康妮一向购买现成的蔓越莓酱罐头
I've decided I would make my own.
我决定我要自己制作
Excellent. Evan and Emery?
很好，埃文和埃默里呢
We'll take the table decorations.
我们负责餐桌布置
The theme—"Harvest Hoedown."
主题是“丰收的土风舞会”
Or "Polar Bear Pilgrims."
或者是“朝圣北极熊”
"Harvest hoedown."
“丰收的土风舞会”
We had an arm-wrestle, and I won.
我们掰过手腕了，我赢了
Great. Eddie?
很好，埃迪呢
I...Promise not to bump into stuff?
我保证不撞烂东西
That's a nice thought,
这想法很好
But let's not make any promises we can't keep.
但千万别做任何你无法遵守的保证
Now, on to the big ideas.
现在进入大主题
First, at Steve and Connie's thanksgiving,
首先，在史蒂夫和康妮举办的感恩聚会上
Everybody plays charades.
所有人都玩猜谜游戏
But at "Huangsgiving," We play...
但黄氏感恩节上，我们玩
...Monopoly!
大富翁
Yay!
耶
Second, aren't you sick of having to fight
其次，你们厌倦了在史蒂夫和康妮举办的感恩聚会上
Over one measly roast duck at Steve and Connie's?
大家要争着抢一只小烤鸭，对吗
Last year, I got the beak.
去年我抢到了鸭嘴
That's why at Huangsgiving, we don't serve duck.
所以在黄氏感恩会上，我们没有鸭子
No.
不
We serve...
我们会给
...Individual Cornish hens.
每人一只童子鸡
They're the personal pizzas of the bird world.
那简直就是鸟禽界的独份披萨
I'm gonna eat mine with my hands, like a cookie.
我要手撕我的童子鸡，像吃饼干一样
Here they come!
他们来了
Hello. Hey!
哈喽，嘿
Hello.
哈喽
Happy thanksgiving!
感恩节快乐
Why do you look like a taxicab?
你怎么看起来像辆出租车似的
I'm straight-edge ska now.
我这是标准的斯卡风
Happy "Skanksgiving."
感恩节快惹
Yo, Justin. Got the new pearl jam.
哟，贾斯汀，我有珍珠果酱乐队的新专辑
Grunge is dead.
油渍摇滚已经落伍了
It's like chasing the wind.
潮流变化得太快了
Where's Steve?
史蒂夫在哪里
Oh. He's driving separately.
噢，他自己开了一辆车
Oh. He did that last time.
他上回就是这样
It's okay—must have accidentally knocked
没事的，我一定是不小心用膝盖
The keys out of the ignition with my knee.
把点火装置的钥匙撞了出来
Wow, Steve. Nice...Car?
哇喔，史蒂夫，这车真好啊
Geo.
吉优牌的
Oh, forget it! I can't do this!
噢，我不想说的，但是我忍不下去了
I can't pretend anymore!
我不想再装了
You just got here.
你刚到这儿啊
Steve and I drove separately because...
史蒂夫和我分开来的
Our marriage is on the rocks.
因为我们的婚姻危在旦夕
Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, ma.
对不起，妈，我没有让你早点知道
I was just waiting for the right time.
我在等一个恰当的时机
Don't leave me, Connie.
康妮，别离开我
Get a hold of yourself, Steve. Nobody wants to see this.
史蒂夫，你得了吧，没人想看你犯贱
Now, if you'll all excuse me,
对不住各位了
I'm going to go cry into some bath towels.
我要去找个洗手间哭一哭
What does this mean for the table?
这打乱了我们的座位安排啊
We had them sharing a love seat made of hay!
我们给他们安排了干草情侣座
It's been kind of rough with Connie and I
我和康妮已经僵持一段时间了
Since our last visit here,
自从我们上次来这里以后
When she found out about our financial situation.
她发现我们的经济状况不太好
You, uh, brought your computer again.
你又把电脑搬过来了
the internet is the only connection
网络是我现在对外界的
I can count on right now.
唯一联系方式
I feel so bad for them.
我真的为他们感到遗憾
Their marriage is fine, Louis.
他们的婚姻没问题，路易斯
This is just classic Connie trying to steal focus.
康妮就想用这种招数求关注
Remember when she was late for our wedding
还记得她来参加我们的婚礼结果迟到了吗
Because she got hit by a car?
她解释说自己被车撞了
Or my college graduation,
还有我的大学毕业典礼
When she contracted Lyme disease?
她说她感染了莱姆病
She said she got it from petting a baby deer.
她说她照顾鹿宝宝得了这个病
Who pets a deer? What is she, snow white?!
谁会去照顾鹿宝宝啊，她是白雪公主吗
So, come on down to my thanksgiving day sale!
快来参加感恩节折扣大酬宾
Remember, I'm across from the big q—
请记住我，我的店在比格·Q的对面
Which is putting me out of business.
就是那家店让我破了产
I hate to be a bother,
我不想给你们添麻烦
But Steve and I can't sleep in the same room,
但是我实在不愿意和史蒂夫住一间房
What with our marriage falling apart!
我们的婚姻正在破裂中
It wouldn't be a problem if we were hosting.
如果我们举办感恩节的话就没问题
We have extra bedrooms—
我们有多余的卧室
Uhp-bup-bup-bup-bup. Not a problem.
不不不，这不是问题
Steve can sleep on the sofa.
史蒂夫可以睡在沙发上
It's a pull-out!
那是个折叠床
Mmmmmmm!
嗯，真棒
Great.
那好吧
Louis Huang, I'm impressed.
路易斯·黄，你够可以的啊
Connie is no match for the both of us.
康妮不是我们的对手
Now, you go to bed.
现在你去睡觉
I'll stay up and finish prepping.
我晚点睡，把准备工作搞完
We're going to throw the best damn Huangsgiving
我们要举办一个你母上大人
Your mother's ever seen.
绝壁没见过的精彩黄氏感恩节
You're really committed to that name, huh?
你要一直说这个名字，对吧
That's the shortened version.
我说的是简称
The full name is Louis Huang's Huangsgiving
全称叫“路易斯和黄氏一家的
Featuring Louis and the Huangs.
特色路易斯·黄氏感恩节”
She stopped doing my laundry. Did I tell you that?
她现在不给我洗衣服了，我和你说过吗
Look—these used to be white.
看，这原来是白的
Why is laundry so hard?
为啥洗衣服这么费劲
Okay, you're all set here.
很好，你已经安顿下来了
Got a lot of prep to do for tomorrow, so
我得去为明天准备一下了，那么
Have one drink with me.
跟我喝一杯
I'd love to, but I
我也想，但是
Come on, Louis.
来嘛，路易斯
I really need this right now.
我现在真的想一醉方休
Oh, I see some whiskers.
噢，我看到一些胡须
Could it be everybody's favorite tabby?
这会是大家最喜欢的那只斑纹猫吗
Garfield.
加菲猫
It is!
就是他
Here comes...
现在走过来的是
Heathcliff!
希斯克里夫
So, come on down to my thanksgiving day sale.
快来参加感恩节折扣大酬宾
Remember, what I don't sell, I have to burn!
记住，卖不掉的就要烧掉
Louis! Where have you been? Nothing is done!
路易斯，你去哪了，你啥都没做啊
I thought you said you were going to...
我以为你说你要去
Wait a minute.
等一下
Why do you smell like a Korean hotel?
你怎么闻起来有韩国酒店的味
Um, well...
额，那个
Go, go, go.
点起来
Steve and I had just one drink before bed...
史蒂夫和我在睡前小酌了一点
Whoo!
哇哦
...And then, we talked some business.
然后我们又扯了一会淡
I bet this is all part of Steve and Connie's plan
我敢肯定这是史蒂夫和康妮为了
To sabotage our thanksgiving!
破坏我们的感恩节而想出来的鬼主意
I just need a couple of aspirin and a shower,
只要吃几片阿司匹林，再洗个澡
And I'll be back to 100%.
我就能立马脉动回来
Besides, I'm sure Steve is feeling
而且我确定早上
Even worse than me this morning.
史蒂夫的感觉比我还要糟
Hey, Louis. Think fast. Blueberry muffin comin' at ya.
嘿，路易斯，别发呆了，接住蓝莓松饼
How are you not hungover?
为什么你没醉
Oh, I can't get drunk anymore.
噢，我不能再醉了
My blood is 100% alcohol at this point.
我现在血管里流淌的全是酒精
Oh, hey, uh, thanks for the, uh, relationship advice last night.
噢，对了，特别感谢你，昨晚给了我一些修复关系的建议
I'm gonna do it—today—just like you said.
我今天就要行动了，全按你说的来
Good.
太棒了
So, pearl jam's out.
珍珠果酱乐队落伍了
Want to play "Duck hunt"?
那你想玩打鸭子吗
You mean "Duck murder"?
你说的是鸭子谋杀吗
This is gonna be a long weekend.
这周末要悲催了
We could look up sexy ladies on the internet.
咱们可以在网上找点性感美女照片
There are sexy ladies on the internet?
网上有美女照片吗
Dude! That's what the internet is!
哥们，网络就是用来干这个的呀
But it takes forever for a picture to download,
但是图片要加载很久
So you have to pick what sexy lady
所以你要提前想好
You're gonna look up ahead of time.
你想看哪位性感美女
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
咱们俩不会想到一块去了吧
Janet Jackson. Janeane Garofolo.
珍妮特·杰克逊，詹尼安·吉劳法罗
Uh see? I'm already feel—
你看，我已经准备
Aah!
啊
Cranberries—very stingy berry.
蔓越莓怎么这么小气
Look how little juice I've yielded!
你看我就挤出这么一点果汁
Look, I know I got us off to a rough start this morning
听我说，我知道我一大清早就出师不利
And we're behind schedule on our prep—
准备工作落后一步
The carrots aren't even washed.
胡萝卜还没洗
We have dirty carrots.
我们有一堆脏萝卜
Those are probably my Cornish hens.
可能是我的童子鸡到了
I'll have them brined, roasted, and on the table by 6:00 p.m.
我会把鸡腌好烤熟，六点前上桌
Don't worry. We'll get back on track.
别担心，我们会回归正轨的
What?
什么
what the hell are those?
这都是什么玩意
The Cornish hens you ordered.
你订的童子鸡
I ordered dead hens!
我订的是死鸡
Nope. See that "L-h" Right there?
不是，你看这里写的啥
Stands for "Living hens."
明明写的“活鸡”
Louis, who are all these tiny birds?
路易斯，这些小鸡是怎么回事
Well, ma'am, this one here is rose.
夫人，这只叫罗斯
The cream one in the back is sue.
后面的那只奶白色叫苏
You got Tori right—
这只叫托莉
I can't learn any hen names today!
我今天没工夫听你报鸡名
This is a slight hiccup. That's all.
这只是一个小失误，没什么的
I'll run out and get a turkey from the restaurant.
我马上出门，去饭店买一只火鸡回来
Do we own any miniature overalls?
咱家有迷你工作服吗
We want to gussy up the gourds.
我想把南瓜打扮一下
I don't understand what you're saying,
我听不懂你在说什么
But come try mommy's cranberry sauce.
但快尝尝妈妈做的蔓越莓果酱
Mnh! Blech! Ugh!
啊，怎么这么
"Blech" Good, or...?
好吃还是
One turkey at your service.
您要的火鸡到了
What happened to its other leg?
它的另一只腿哪儿去了
It was frozen to a tub of mayonnaise, so I had to amputate.
冻在一桶蛋黄酱上了，我不得不给它截肢
I'll cover the stump with a yam. Let's put it in the oven.
我会用山芋盖住的，快把它放进烤箱
We don't have a lot of time.
我们时间不多了
Oh, it's Oscar! Thank god!
哦，是奥斯卡，谢天谢地
Oh, Oscar! Welcome! Happy thanksgiving.
奥斯卡，欢迎光临，感恩节快乐
Happy thanksgiving! That's for you.
感恩节快乐，这是给你的
You look so handsome. Thank you.
你长得真帅，谢谢
Hello.
你好
Jessica, I want you to meet my new boyfriend, Michael.
杰西卡，我想让你认识一下我的新男友，迈克尔
You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend.
你没告诉我你还有男朋友
We met at the farmers market.
我们在农贸市场遇见的
We both reached for the same Gouda.
我们伸手去拿同一块古德干酪
"Gow-dah."
是高德
Michael listens to NPR.
迈克尔常听美国公共广播电台
Show her your tote.
给她看看你的手提包
Mom, look who it is—
妈，快看看谁来了
Your favorite person, Oscar Chow,
你最喜欢的人，奥斯卡·周
Who you only get to see at my house.
只有在我家你才见得到哦
Is that my chu-chu?
是我亲爱的楚楚夫人吗
Chow-chow!
周周
And so she said, "We don't do returns."
于是她说“我们概不退货”
That bitch!
真贱
I know.
我就说吧
Anyway, so, I get in my car—
总之，然后我回到车里
they should really make a big version of the ukulele,
他们真的应该做一款大号的尤克里里
Like...
就像这么大
Ma, I've cut you a mango.
妈，我给你切了一颗芒果
Look how I haven't wasted any meat.
你看一点果肉都没浪费
I thought we could eat it
我们可以一边吃芒果
And relive our memories of thanksgivings past.
一边重温我们之前感恩节留下的美好回忆
I wish I was allergic to trouble.
我希望我也能对麻烦过敏
Why is this acorn here?
这儿怎么有颗橡果
I think it brings a rustic quality.
我觉得它会带来一种乡土气息
You know what else is rustic?
你知道什么更有乡土气息吗
The squirrel that peed on it.
往上面撒尿的松鼠
Get this out of my sight.
让它从我眼前消失
Hey, happy thanksgiving!
嘿，感恩节快乐
Is Louis ready to lug the leather?
路易斯准备好玩一场了吗
Uh, Marvin, honey. What are you—
马文，哈妮，你们怎么来了
Well, Louis called last night
路易斯昨晚打电话
And said we should come ready to play ball.
说让我们过来打球
I've been massaging his legs all morning.
我今天一早都在按摩他的腿
He is ready to go.
他已经蓄势待发了
get in there.
进去吧
Okay, now, teams...
好吧，队友们
Uh, let me see here.
让我看看
Me and, uh, Eric Clapton here...
我和这位埃里克·克莱普顿
Versus Louis...
对阵路易斯
And this handsome older lady.
和这位帅气的老妇人
No offense, Dorothy.
无意冒犯，桃乐斯
What—you think I can't play football?
你以为我不会玩橄榄球
I threw a carburetor across the stage
我在夏季扮演了两场《油脂》里的肯尼基
As Kenickie in "Grease" For two summer tours.
每次我都把汽化器扔到了舞台另一头
Okay, fine. But we don't pull any punches.
好吧，但我们不会手下留情
We play hard touch. Huh?
我们下手特别狠
Face tags allowed.
可能会脸上挂彩哦
uh, I'd love to play, uh, Marvin,
马文，我很想玩
But I have to help Jessica with—
但是我得帮杰西卡
I don't need any help.
我不需要帮忙
Go play.
玩去吧
I don't want to play. My stomach hurts.
我不想玩，我胃疼
You should have thought of that before you invited him over.
你请他过来之前就应该想到啊
Have fun!
玩得开心
Go get your face touched.
脸上挂点彩
Come on, Louis!
来吧，路易斯
Let's go, boys! Let's get 'em!
来吧，朋友们，打败他们
Louis, get out here!
路易斯，快出来
So, I was listening to the most fascinating story
我今早在听美国公共广播的时候
On NPR this morning about almonds.
听到了一个与杏仁有关的超级精彩的故事
I was on the train, tears streaming down my face.
我当时在火车上，泪如雨下
You know, and Oscar says, "What's wrong?"
奥斯卡问我“你怎么了”
and I sa—sorry.
我，不好意思
I said, "The almonds are in trouble,
我说“杏仁们正处于水深火热之中
And we're doing nothing."
而我们却坐视不管”
Connie!
康妮
Happy to, ma-ma.
我很乐意，妈妈
oh!
噢
Don't go far!
别走太远了
Dinner is about to be served.
晚饭马上就好了
No.
不
Jessica?
杰西卡
Did you say dinner is ready? Mom's starving.
你刚才是说晚饭要好了吗，妈妈饿了
Almost. I just need to let it cool off.
快好了，我只需晾一下就好
It's so hot and brown.
热气腾腾，焦香四溢
Set! Hike! -Louis!
准备，开球，路易斯
One Mississippi! Two Mississippi! Come on, come on, come on.
一，二，快点快点
The turkey is raw.
火鸡是生的
What?
什么
The turkey...
火鸡
...Is...
是
Raw.
生的
Oh, astronaut?
宇航员
Sweater for an astronaut?
宇航员的毛衣
raw!
生的
Oh! Paula Abdul!
哦，宝拉·阿巴杜
Worst charades player ever.
真是字谜游戏的猪队友
What? What happened?
发生什么了
You got hit in the head.
你脑袋被砸了
Oscar threw a football at you.
奥斯卡把橄榄球砸你脑袋上了
The turkey is raw.
火鸡没熟
You didn't turn on the oven.
你没开烤箱
Tell me if this needs more sugar.
告诉我还用不用再放糖
I don't—
我不
Still too sour?
还是太酸了吗
Why would anybody make a sauce out of these devil berries?
怎么有人能用这些该死的莓果做出酱汁
Wait.
等等
Did you say the turkey is raw?
你刚才说火鸡没熟
Yes, that's right.
是啊
You turned on the oven light, not the actual oven.
你只打开了烤箱灯，但没开烤箱
It's on now, so in about six hours
现在打开了，所以六个小时之后
We'll be ready to eat, which would be around midnight.
也就是午夜时分，我们就能吃上火鸡了
I may seem calm, but it's a calm anger,
我可能看起来很平静，但我的平静下藏着怒火
Which is a much scarier type of anger.
这种平静下的怒火要更为可怕
Okay, uh...
好吧，额
You know what? We'll be fine.
没事的
We've got bags of nuts, monopoly.
我们有各种坚果，还有大富翁
We'll stall until the food is ready.
只要能拖延时间，把食物弄好就行
everything is going to be great.
绝对没问题
98%.
加载到98%了
99%.
99%了
98%.
又回到了98%
She's almost here.
她快要现身了
Our compromise.
她是咱俩折中选择的
A smart, talented, female musician
一名冰雪聪明，天赋异禀的女音乐家
With lots of opinions on social change.
同时对社会变革颇有见地
Tracy Chapman.
特雷西·查普曼
Sensible vest.
背心不错
All right, 7!
太好了，是七
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
一二三四五六七
Buy it!
买了
You landed on jail.
你停在监狱上呢
sold!
卖出
You got a great arm there, son. You belong on the gridiron.
小子，你胳膊真有力，一定是很会打橄榄球
You know, you go to a junior college, transfer.
你可以转个学，去个大专打球
What are you—23, 24?
你多大，23岁还是24岁
I'm 45.
我45了
Getting close now.
马上就好了
I just need to put paper booties on the bird.
我只需要在鸡肉上放张纸
Why are the gourds naked?
为什么南瓜上啥也没有
Where are their overalls?
他们的服装呢
Cute, right?
真可爱，对吧
Someone had put them on some potatoes or something.
有人把这个拿来装饰什么土豆了
It was weird.
吓死宝宝了
get those off the wine bottles
把酒瓶上那些东西都撕下来
And back on the damn gourds!
贴到这个南瓜上
Yes!
太好了
I'm gonna buy a house...
我要给康妮
For Connie.
买栋别墅
No, thanks.
我不要，谢谢
It'll just get repossessed.
只能等它被回收了
All right, I-I know I'm not always good
好吧，我知道自己不擅长
At saying how I feel,
表达感情
But last night, Louis told me I need to take a big swing.
但是昨晚，路易斯告诉我得做出改变
"Never coming around"?!
“从未理睬你”
This isn't going to work, Steve.
史蒂夫，你这都是白费力
Who says we have to eat everything together?
谁说我们必须要等一桌菜上齐才开始吃
Let's do courses.
我们一道一道来
First course—sauce.
前菜，酱汁
What?
什么
Connie told us—
康妮去买火鸡炸锅之前
Right before she left to get the turkey fryer.
已经告诉我们了
Cooks the bird in less than an hour.
用那个炸锅，不到一小时就能熟
What's open on thanksgiving?
感恩节哪里还开门啊
Glenn's.
格林超市啊
That's right—no thanksgiving dinner for me.
没错，我不吃感恩节大餐
It's not thanksgiving.
这不是感恩节
It's Huangsgiving.
这是黄氏感恩节
Well, I think it's my turn, so...
我想该轮到我了
Hello, Connie.
康妮，你好啊
Jessica.
杰西卡
Where did you find parking?
你在哪找到停车位的
Children's hospital next door. Walked through the bushes.
旁边的儿童医院，我从灌木丛穿过来的
No way you're gonna swoop in and "Rescue" My thanksgiving.
你不仅突袭我家，还企图“拯救”我家的感恩节，简直不要脸
I'm just trying to—
我只是想
To make it all about you, like you always do,
想把功劳揽到自己身上，你一直都这样
With your car accidents, your Lyme diseases.
比如你的车祸，你的莱姆病
My face was paralyzed for a year!
我面瘫了一年呢
How convenient!
那不正好吗
Just admit it.
你就承认吧
Admit you wanted to ruin my thanksgiving.
承认你就是想毁了我的感恩节
Yes! Because thanksgiving is mine!
没错，因为感恩节本来就是我的
It's the one time I get attention
这是一个我能得到关注的
For the right reasons—
好机会
Not because a car backed into me or I pet the wrong deer
而不是因为被车撞，或是照顾该死的小鹿
Or...Had a tattoo get infected.
或是纹身受了感染
I told you not to get a tattoo at the airport.
我告诉过你别在机场纹身
Why couldn't you just let me have this?
为什么你就不能让让我
You have everything else!
你已经是人生赢家了
Your business is semi-successful.
事业正在走向成功
Your marriage is solid.
婚姻长期稳定
Wait—are you and Steve really having trouble?
等下，你和史蒂夫真的有隔阂了吗
It's been hard.
我俩闹得很僵
He's just so annoying, you know?
他实在太烦人了，你懂吗
I know.
我懂
We all know.
我们都能理解你
I just want to punch his face.
我只想一拳打他脸上
I know.
我知道
And those whale shorts?
还有那些鲸鱼短裤
I bought him those shorts.
那些是我买的
...Are appropriate for a man his age.
非常适合他这个年龄穿
I also know that he loves you and Justin very much.
我还知道他非常爱你和贾斯汀
You know what?
你知道吗
I'm going to buy this fryer
我打算买下这台炸锅
So I can bring it to your house next year,
明年我去你家过感恩节的时候
When you host thanksgiving.
可以带给你
No!
不
I want to buy it for you
这是我想买给你的
So this thanksgiving will be great.
这样你的感恩节才会圆满
Don't be silly. Let me.
别傻了，放着我来吧
You have to be married to Steve.
你不能和史蒂夫离婚啊
What a beautiful table.
桌子真漂亮
Honey's taking the bonnet off the gravy boat.
哈妮刚刚拿掉了调味汁瓶的盖子
What is she—
她在
Oh, my god!
噢，天啊
She's putting it on her thumb!
她把盖子套她大拇指上了
Look! Look!
快看，快看
Hm.
嗯
Thanks for introducing me to ska.
谢谢你给我介绍斯卡音乐
I hate it.
我讨厌这种音乐
You tie a rope to a tire, hang it from a tree,
你在轮胎上系个绳子，再挂到树上
And just...Throw.
然后扔出去
I'm not gonna do that, but thank you.
我不会那么做的，不过谢谢你的提议
It's so catchy.
这首歌触到我了
It's about wanting you to turn around.
我在等你转身看我
Thank you, ma-ma.
谢谢你，妈妈
We did it.
我们成功了
We did Huangsgiving.
黄氏感恩节成功了
You're not mad that I got drunk and messed everything up?
我喝醉并且把一切都搞砸了，你没生气吧
Oh, I'm mad. I'm super-mad.
噢，我生气啊，我超级生气哎
I'm just waiting till tomorrow, when everybody leaves.
我只是在等明天大家走了以后再收拾你
Hm.
额
Oh, boy.
噢，天呐
Thanksgiving...
致感恩节
Or, in the German, Erntedankfest...
或者用德语说，Erntedankfest
