And if they have any of those tiny bottles of shampoo?
如果他们有那种小瓶装的洗发水的话?
I will bring them home so you can show me how Godzilla takes a shower.
我会带回来的这样你就能告诉我哥斯拉是怎么洗澡的啦
Have fun. Thanks. Are you ready? Uhhuh.
玩得开心,谢谢。准备好了吗?嗯嗯
Bye, Sheldon.You know what?
谢尔登再见你懂的
I feel uncomfortable engaging in a public display of affection while their relationship is strained.
他俩关系紧张的时候当众秀恩爱我觉得不是很自在
Go ahead, it's fine.Bye. Bye. Okay! Let's go!Bye.Bye.
没事的,再见,再见好!咱们走吧!再见再见
I'll miss you. Yeah, I'll miss you, too. I'll miss you more.
我会想你的,我也会想你的我会想你更多
Well, if X equals the amount that you'll miss me,then I'll miss you X plus one.
好吧,如果你想我的次数是X那我想你的次数就是X加一
If you miss me X plus one, I'll miss you open paren X plus one, close paren to the second...
如果你想我的次数是X加一,我想你的次数就是X加一的2次...
Thank you.You're sad, so I made you tea. Thanks.
我谢你啊,你看着有点丧,我给你泡了杯茶谢谢啊
And it's just the way you like it.Earl Grey? Yes.
是你喜欢的那种。伯爵茶?是的
Honey? Yes.Unsweetened almond Good Lord!
加了蜂蜜?是的加了无糖杏仁, Word天!
I made you tea. Just drink it!
我给你泡好了,你喝就好了嘛!
Sorry, thank you.Well, what can we do to cheer you up?
不好意思,谢谢,怎样你才会开心点呢?
I really don't know.You want to play Jenga? Or, uh, Ticket to Ride?Hearthstone?
我真不知道。你想玩层层叠吗?呃,车票之旅?炉石传说?
I... What would you be the happiest losing at?
我...输了哪个你会最开心?
I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
我不想玩游戏,谢尔登
Wow, and I remember when you loved playing games with me.
我可记得你喜欢和我玩游戏的那段日子呢
Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in.
除了和佩妮的关系外,你可能在其他关系上也懈怠了
It's not that I'd stopped trying, it's just how relationships progress.
我并没有懈怠啊只是亲密关系的发展趋势就是如此
They start with infatuation, but over time mellow into something more comfortable.
起始于迷恋但随着时间推移就渐渐趋于平淡了
Hmm. Yeah, you're right.
嗯,说得对
It's like when I first encountered the Pythagorean Theorem.
就像我第一次接触勾股定理的感觉
You know, I was blown away that the square of the hypotenuse was the sum of the squares of the opposite sides.
斜边平方等于直角边平方和可把我给惊呆了
Yeah, but now I'm just like "eh."
但现在我会觉得,"不过如此吼"
Okay, this grid represents the room.
好,这张网格代表了这间房间
All we need to do is plot out where each squeak is and we can find a quiet path to the crib.
我们要做的就是把会嘎吱响的地砖给找出来然后找到一条可以安静地走到童床的路
It looks like a map from Dungeons & Dragons.Mm.
就像龙与地下城里的地图呢。嗯
Except the creature in the crib is a levelnine poop monster.
不过童床里的生物是一个九级的拉屎怪
Okay, uh, you check for squeaks,and I will mark them down.Okay.
好,你找哪块地砖有嘎吱声我把它们标记出来。好的
Space A3, here we go. It's squeaking. Mark it.
区域A3开始吧,有嘎吱声,标出来
It's nice to think that you grew up in this room and now your daughter's going to as well.
想想你曾在这屋子里长大现在你的女儿也要在这里长大也是很温馨呢
Mm. I hope she has the same amount of sex in it I did. None. Next square.
嗯,我希望她在这里做爱的次数和我一样多,一次也没有,下一块
Why do you bounce with your hands in the air like that?
你干嘛边摆手边蹦跶啊?
It's a tradition of my people.
这是我族人的一种传统
If I were a rich man "Material Girl" needs to be retired.
如果我是个富豪哟,"拜金女"得退休
That is your karaoke song.
你K歌得唱这个
Would you like to play a driving game I invented?
你想玩我发明的驾驶游戏吗?
Is it about the failing state of my relationship with Penny? Never mind.
这游戏和我跟佩妮之间的低谷期有关吗?没事了
You know, Penny went to this spa to be away from you.
Penny去做水疗就是为了回避你
Are you sure you should be going there?
你确定你要去那儿吗?
I don't want to wait two days for us to work this out.Very well.
我不想干等两天才把这事解决,好吧
You got married spur of the moment.
你俩一时冲动结了婚
I don't see why your divorce should be any different.
我觉得离婚应该也不会有什么不同
I would pull this car over and kick you out,but... if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.
我本来会停车踢你下去的但是...如果佩妮抛弃我的话,我就只有你了
When was the last time you got a massage?
你上一次做按摩是什么时候?
Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago,but that was just 'cause there was a spider on his pillow and he was trying to get away.
两周前谢尔登踩了我背就因为枕头上有只蜘蛛他想逃走
Leonard stood on me once, too,but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.
莱纳德也踩过我一次但他只是为了看玫瑰花车游行
I don't know the protocol, are you gonna be naked for your massage?
我不知道这里的习惯你打算裸着做按摩吗
Well. Yeah.Hmm. Then this is probably too many clothes.Hey.
是啊,嗯,那我可能穿太多了。嘿
What are you doing here?
你俩干啥呢?
I came here to apologize.
我来这儿向你道歉
Okay. Leonard, I really appreciate that,but I need a little time to myself.
好吧,莱纳德我很感谢但我需要一点独处的时间
Wha... Okay. I don't get it.
啊...好吧,我没领会你的意思
You said make an effort.
是你说我要有所行动
Here I am, making an effort.
所以我来表个态
Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.
嗨,艾米见到你很高兴
Nice to see you, too.
我也是
And that's how you make effort look effortless.
这才是事半功倍
All right. Can you please just go and we'll talk about this tomorrow?
行了,你现在还是先回去吧我们明天再谈这件事
I don't understand what you want!
我真的不明白你到底想要什么!
I'm trying to figure it out!
我这不是正在想吗!
You know what? If you'd like,I could whip up a quick Relationship Agreement.
知道吗?如果你们愿意的话我可以帮你们现场拟一份恋爱关系协议
Well, I'm at a spa,might as well do something relaxing.
反正我在休闲中心做点放松的事情也不错
Sheldon, why don't we give them some privacy? Very well.
谢尔登不如我们给他们一点私人空间吧?好吧
Hey. Later, we'll check out the minibar?
过会儿我们去房间里的小冰箱拿点酒怎么样?
I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.
我可以展示给你看哥斯拉是怎么喝醉的
So what we did was map out the entire room to identify every squeak.
所以我们所做的就是在房间的地上标明每一个会响的地方
Watch. It's easy, once you get the hang of it. Step.Step.Hop onto ottoman.
你看,只要熟悉了之后,这其实非常简单我跨我再跨跳上垫脚凳
Don't do that in socks, I almost broke my neck.
跳的时候千万别穿袜子,我差点把脖子摔断了
Then simply sit, spin, stand,stretch...
然后坐下,转,站起来拉伸...
Maybe unloosen your pants.And... step, grab, tiny pivot,pull, and you're there.
裤子松一点比较好然后...再跨抓住找支点拉,然后到达终点
Easy, peasy, mac and...You get the idea.
小菜一碟,轻松...反正你懂就行了
You actually expect me to do this while holding a baby in the dark?
你真的觉得我能在抱着孩子周围全黑的情况下做完这些吗?
Hold on... I don't think she was impressed.
别着急啊...我觉得她这是有惊无喜啊
Bigger problems.I felt something pop.
还有一个更大的问题,我伤着哪儿了啊
There's a cucumber in my water. Uhhuh.
我的水里有一片黄瓜,是啊
Do they know it's there?
是他们故意放进去的吗?
Um, sh... should I tell somebody?
还是...还是不小心掉进去了?
It's there on purpose.It's refreshing. Interesting.
是故意放进去的,比较提神,有点意思
The world's most boring liquid and the world's most boring vegetable.
这个世界上最无趣的液体加上这个世界上最无趣的蔬菜
But you put 'em together, and bleh.Hey. Hi.
但你把它们放在一起的话,好恶心,嘿,嗨
Oh! Good, you're here. Are you still fighting?
噢!来了啊,你们还在闹别扭吗?
If you get divorced, do I get two Christmases?
如果你们离婚了,我可以过两次圣诞节吗?
We're not getting divorced.
我们不会离婚的
Listen, we realized, that, uh...we're facing some new challenges as a married couple.
我们意识到...我们作为已婚人士确实面临着一些挑战
Yeah. And there are a few things we need to stay on top of. So we thought it would useful...
没错,也有一些事情我们需要始终关注,所以我们认为我们可以...
and I can't believe I am about to say this...um...
我简直不敢相信自己会这么说...呃...
Would you please help us make a Relationship Agreement?
你能帮我们拟一份恋爱关系协议吗?
But one that's tailored to us.
但要适合我们才行
Okay? We don't need a bathroom schedule.
行吗?我们不需要浴室使用时间表
Although a rule about him texting me from in there might help with the romance.
但是设一条规定让他在浴室里的时候给我发信息增添点浪漫挺不错的
What do you say?
你觉得呢?
I get to write a contract?
我能拟合同了?
I say, let's get this party of the first part started!
现在马上开始着手做吧!
Do you really think that's funny?
你真的觉得这很好笑吗?
It's in our agreement. I have to laugh.
这是协议里的内容,我必须笑
If you find this draft acceptable,then I believe your new Relationship Agreement is ready to be signed.
如果你觉得这份草案可以接受的话那我觉得你们之间新的恋爱关系协议现在就可以签订了
Article 8, subsection B:Leonard will restrict videogaming in underpants to hours Penny is not home.
条款8子条款B 莱纳德在打电动的时候不能只穿内裤除非佩妮不在家
This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, Gstrings or anything else that calls attention to his pasty little thighs.
包括平角裤,三角裤,丁字裤或者任何引人注意他的细小苍白的大腿的东西
Does it really need to say that?
你非得这么表述不可吗?
I did this for free, let me get a little something.
我可是免费为你们服务的,你得让我找点乐子
Article 10, subsection C:
条款十,子条款C
If questioned, Penny may not say that everything is fine if it isn't.
如果被问及的话,佩妮不能说一切都好如果有什么不对的话
Other unacceptable responses include: "It's nothing,"
其他不能接受的回答包括"没什么"
"Don't worry about it," and "I said it's nothing,don't worry about it."
"别瞎操心"和"我说了没事你就别瞎操心了"
I think this all looks good.
我觉得这样很不错啊
Me, too. Oh, well. Great, then. Here.
我也觉得。好吧,那么,这里
You sign here, date here.
这里签名字,这里签日期
And, Penny, if you could initial here to indicate that you're accepting Leonard in "as is" condition.
还有,佩妮你需要在这里签上你名字的缩写表示你接受莱纳德现在的样子
Aw. I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
我还记得签订我们第一份恋爱关系协议的事情
Mm. You seem to be forgetting the "no nostalgia" clause.Right, right. Got it.
看来你是忘了"严禁怀旧"的条款了,好吧好吧,知道了