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Yes, hello. I'm fine. Um...
你也好， 我挺好的
I understand you may have a bad impression of me,so I bought you a gift.
我认为你对我的印象不怎么好所以我给你买了个礼物
Uh, Dr. Cooper, that's not necessary.It's too late.
库珀博士， 这就多余了，太晚了
Get ready to like me. Roots?
准备好爱上我吧《根》（根据亚历克斯?哈利的小说《根》改编的电视迷你剧）
The tragic history of slavery in America.
讲述美国黑奴的悲惨历史
Fun for the whole family.
可供你全家细细品味
Why would you think this is an appropriate gift?
你为何会觉得这种"礼物"会很合适
You are black, right?
你是黑人， 不是吗
This meeting has come to an end.
此次会面到此为止
Because you want to start watching it right now.Copy that.
因为你想马上开始看这部剧，明白明白
Let's see.Up next on the tenure committee is... Professor Wu.
我看看下一个要拜访的教职委员会委员是吴教授
Well, get ready for the complete works of Jackie Chan. Gentlemen.
准备好收我的"成龙全集大礼包"吧。先生们
Where have you been? Nurse's office. Asthma attack?
你去哪了， 医务室，哮喘犯了吗
Asthma, heart some kind of attack. I'm fine, though.
哮喘， 心脏病， 反正来了一发，我没事
You guys going to Professor Tupperman's memorial?
你们要去塔伯曼教授的追悼会吗
I don't know. Probably not.Barely knew him.
不知道， 可能不会去和他不熟
Yeah, you wouldn't want to look like you guys are brownnosing the tenure committee,who will all be there.
是啊， 你们可不想让其他人发现你们在拍教职委员会委员们的马屁他们可都会在场哦
Oh, yeah, that's what I was hoping for meerkats.
我正等着你们这反应呢， "丁满"姿态（也就是狐獴， 迪士尼电影角色）
I won't be able to make our date night this Thursday, so...bad news for you.
很不幸地告诉你， 这周四的约会要泡汤了真是不好意思
You better have a good excuse this time,
你这次的理由最好合理点
because "trimming Qtips to fit your ears right" is obvious nonsense.
因为"要修整棉花棒， 让掏耳朵更舒适"明显是胡扯
First of all, when you say things like that,people think you're crazy.
首先， 你说这种话出来大家会以为你是疯子
Second, the reason I'm cancelling is because I have to attend a memorial service for Professor Tupperman.
第二， 我取消这次约会是因为我要参加塔伯曼教授的追悼会
It sounds like a long and tedious evening.Eh, it will be.
听起来就很浪费时间又无趣，的确是
Honestly, if I must endure a long and tedious evening, I'd rather it be with you on date night.
说实在的， 要是我想度过一个漫长无趣的夜晚我宁愿选择和你约会
But I have no choice. The tenure committee's going to be there.
但我别无选择，教职选举委员会的人会出席
Well, in that case, perhaps I should come along.
这样的话， 或许我也该去
Well, now that I think about it,that would be most helpful.
想想看的话你倒是可以帮上忙
Of course it would.
当然了
I'm wellversed in academic politics,and as a respected scientist,
我对学术界的人际关系非常精通而且作为德高望重的科学家
I can only raise your stock as a candidate.
我可以给你加分， 让你成为候选人
Actually, I meant you could drive me.
我的意思是你可以当我的司机
But if it makes you happy, that other stuff, too.
但如果你觉得开心， 刚才你说的也包括在内
Do anything interesting today? Oh, not really.
今天有趣事发生吗？没有
I was out shopping with Amy.
我和艾米去逛了街
She wanted me to help her find something for this memorial thing.
她让我陪她选参加追悼会要穿的衣服
Wait Sheldon's going to be there?
等一下， 谢尔顿会去吗
We all promised we weren't going to go.
我们发过誓都不去的
Oh, what a jerk. I know.
真是个混球， 就是啊
I was hoping to go without anyone finding out.
我还想自己去， 不被他们发现呢
Well, since Amy's going, do you want me there?
反正艾米要去， 你想我也去吗
You know, to support you?
给你加油打气
That's nice, but itit's just gonna be a room full of boring old men
你真好， 但参加追悼会的都会是些无聊的老男人
and I'm not sure how much help you'd be. Okay.
不知道你去能帮上什么忙。好吧
I'm just gonna tie my shoe while you think about that.
你先想想， 我系个鞋带
Oh, yeah. No. Thanks,that would be great help.
好吧， 不， 谢谢你会帮上大忙的
You realize you might kill some of them.
你知道你会把有些人迷"死"的吧
Oh, then you all can get tenure. Come on, Daddy.
那你们就都能获得终身教职了。别这样， 老爸
All the other scientists have seat warmers.
其他科学家都有座椅加热器
This is so humiliating.I've got to get tenure. Okay, llet's meet halfway.
真是丢人。我必须获得终身教职好吧， 一人让一步
How about I cut my cleaning lady down to twice a week?
那我请清洁工的次数改为两周一次如何
Looks like we're both going to be living like animals.
看来我们的家要变成猪圈了
Let's go over our emotional responses one last time. Okay.
我们再练习一下该有的悲伤情绪，好的
Professor Tupperman is dead, and that makes us...? Sad.
塔伯曼教授去世了这让我们， 好伤心
The fact that there are so many people here tonight doesn't make us cranky and claustrophobic.
虽然今晚来了这么多人但我们不能不开心或不舒服
It makes us...? Glad. Giving Mrs. Davis the box set of Roots was...?
而是？好开心给戴维斯女士《根》影集的这种行为，
Bad. However... No. Fine. Bad. Unbelievable.
好无礼但是， 不行，好吧， 好无礼，真是难以置信
You have some nerve showing up here just to schmooze with the tenure committee.
你居然有脸跑这儿来找教职委员会的人闲聊
You're here. Excuse me.
你不也来了吗， 拜托
I'm here to pay my respects to Professor... Tupperware,or whatever his name is.
我是来给特百惠教授致哀的（特百惠是知名塑料保鲜盒公司， 音似塔伯曼）不管他叫什么吧
So am I.His passing makes me feel... bad.
我也是。他的离世让我， 好伤心呢
Well, well, well, Sheldon,fancy meeting you here.
瞧瞧， 谢尔顿真没想到会碰到你啊
I guess the train store in Glendale wasn't having a cotillion after all.
我猜格兰岱尔市的火车玩具商店根本就没举办沙龙舞会
And you you said you weren't coming here, either.
你， 你也说过不来的
I have a thick accent. You don't know what I said.
我口音重着呢， 你根本听不懂我的话
I'd like to know why Penny's here.
我想知道为什么连佩妮也来了
I'm here to support my man, just like you.
我是来支持我家男人的， 和你一样
What are you going to do?
你打算做些什么
Take people's drink orders and get them wrong? Do it.
记下人们要喝什么， 然后端错的去吗？行动
What? Did she do it yet?
什么， 她行动了没有啊
She plans on flirting with members of the tenure committee to further Leonard's cause.
她计划色诱教职选举委员会成员让莱纳德有更大机会入选
Well, that's a fine howdoyoudo.
真会耍阴招
Don't just stand there. Take your breasts out.
别傻站着， 赶紧把咪咪秀出来
Ooh, meerkat fight! You're all wasting your time.
狐獴大混战你们都在浪费时间
Sheldon is the most qualified for the job,and no amount of gravitydefying bosom's going to change that.
谢尔顿最有资格获得这一职位再大的反地心引力胸部也不能改变这一点
Seriously, is that tape?
说真的， 你有用胶带吗
Like, how are they staying up like that?
咪咪怎么会这样坚挺呢
Way to hit them with both barrels.
事业线就是让别人没事业
You two should be ashamed of yourselves.
你们两个真是不知羞耻
Using women to advance your cause with sexuality,and whatever Amy plans on doing.
利用女人的性感来争取自己事业的上位还有不管艾米准备做什么
Are you implying that my girlfriend has no sexuality to exploit? Yes!
你是在暗示我的女朋友没有性感可利用吗， 对
Okay, because that was not clear. Sheldon!
好吧， 刚暗示得不够清楚， 谢尔顿
What? That was ambiguous.
怎么了， 他刚才说得不够清楚
Well, now it's biguous.
那么现在我说清楚了
What are you gonna do about it?
你能怎么拿我怎么样
You could talk some smack about his mother.
你可以说些拿他老妈开涮的黄段子
Well, yes, of course, he wouldn't like that at all.
好主意， 他会很生气的
Last night,I was feeling in need of sexual release when I happened to come across your mother.
昨晚我有释放性需求的感觉时恰好想到你的母亲
Okay, okay.Guys, what are we doing here?
好了，各位， 我们这是做什么呢
I don't know what you're doing,but I was about to insinuate
我不知道你在做什么我是准备暗示
that I had coitus with Raj's mother for a dollar.
我和拉杰的妈发生了关系， 让她赚了一块钱
Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure.
你想干嘛随便你，我可不想因为终身职位而失去朋友
Friends are forever. So is tenure. Walk!
朋友是一辈子的。终身职位也是， 快走
I'm just gonna go home and let my work speak for itself.
我打算回家让我工作成果说明一切
You're right. This is beneath me.
你说的对， 我也不屑于这样做
Like your mother was last night.
和你老妈昨晚一样
How about it, Sheldon?
你怎么说， 谢尔顿
What do you think I should do?
你觉得我应该怎么做
Well, you'll always be an academic success,
你的学术成就永远是卓越的
but... I seriously question whether you'll make any more friends.
但是我真心怀疑你还能不能交上更多其他的朋友
I don't want any more, but let's go.
我不要更多， 不过走吧
Are you kidding?
开什么玩笑
I would "wove" to babysit for you.
我巴不得为你照看孩子
I could not ask you to do that.
我可不能这样麻烦你
Nonsense. Children "Wove" Me.
说什么呢， 孩子们可"耐"我了
Something about me just makes them "waugh" and "waugh."
我有某种妙招能让他们笑哇笑哇
No. We cannot lose to that jerk.
不， 我们可不能输给那个混蛋
Yeah, screw it. I'm going in.
我不管了。我要进去
You... Wait. Hold on.
你给我等等
I believe "screw it, I'm going in" is what I said to your mother last night.
我确定"我不管了， 我要进去"正是我昨晚对你妈说的话
Don't worry, I didn't really say that.
别担心， 我不是真的说了
II find the concept of coitus ridiculous and offputting.
我觉得性行为荒唐而且令人不愉快
Should have taken my breasts out while I had the chance.
应该在我还有机会的时候秀下咪咪的
Mrs. Davis?Mrs. Davis?Mrs. Davis?
戴维斯夫人，戴维斯夫人，戴维斯夫人
I know you're in there.
我知道你在里面
I saw your car in the parking lot. What?
我在停车场看到了你的车了。什么事
I just found out that you recommended myself,
我刚得知你推荐我
Dr. Hofstadter and Dr. Koothrappali to be on the short list for tenure.
霍夫斯塔德博士与库萨帕里博士进入了终身职位最终候选人名单
Well, despite your quirks,the three of you are very accomplished in your respective fields.
尽管你们怪里怪气但你们三个在各自工作领域里的成就是毋庸质疑的
I don't know what you mean by "quirks," But, um...
我不知道你说"怪里怪气"是什么意思， 但是
I do want to express my gratitude.
我想表达我的谢意
You didn't bring another gift, did you? No, no.
你不会又带礼物来吧？没有
No, I learned my lesson.
我已经学到教训了
I understand that was inappropriate.
我知道那是不礼貌的
Good.Anyway, thank you. You're welcome.
很好。总之， 谢谢你。不客气
I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen.
我就当这事没发生吧
Yeah, right on, sister.
好极了， 大妹子
