评论
打印
Why are you up?
你怎么还不睡
How am I supposed to sleep? I've been married less than 24 hours, and my wife isn't speaking to me.
我怎么睡得着，我结婚还不到24小时，我的老婆就跟我冷战了
Perhaps you can think of this in a more positive light.In one day, you've managed to do what it takes many couples decades to achieve.
或许你可以用更积极的态度看待这件事。你只用了短短一天就达到许多夫妻花了几十年才达到的境界
You couldn't sleep either? Of course not.
你也睡不着吗？当然啦
Me neither. But I just had a tickle in my throat. Not profound marital problems.
我也睡不着，但我只是喉咙痒，不是什么深刻的婚姻问题
What are we gonna do? I don't know. Please, tell me how I can fix it.
我们该怎么办？我也不知道。求你告诉我，我该怎么补救
Glad you asked. As I see it, there's a simple solution. Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman.
就怕你不问，在我看来，有一个简单的解决方法，你的嘴唇与别女人的嘴唇厮混过
It seems only logical that to restore balance to the relationship, you should find another man and dally with him.
如果想重修旧好，唯一合理的办法就是你也找别的男人耳鬓厮磨
And by dally, I mean some hardcore mouthonmouth action.
我说耳鬓厮磨，是使出浑身解数狂吻一番
Okay, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
这是我听过最蠢的一件事了
Actually, I think he's onto something.
其实我觉得他说的不无道理
Y-You can't be serious. 'Cause I messed up and made out with a girl, you're gonna do the same with a random guy?
你不会是认真的吧，就因为我一时糊涂跟别的女人亲热了，所以你也要随便跟别的男人亲热吗
I'm currently single. That's true. You are. What is happening?!
我目前正好单身。的确，你单身。这是要闹哪样
I will tell you what is happening. I am saving my best friend's marriage.
我来告诉你是要闹哪样？我要以身拯救我死党的婚姻
Sheldon, I don't think you understand how being broken up works. The only way I can sort through my feelings is if there is space between us.
谢尔顿，看来你不太懂分手应该怎么样。唯一能让我理清情绪的方法就是我们之间要保持距离
Every time I see you, it retraumatizes me. I go through the pain all over again.
每次见到你，都会让我心灵再次受创，一遍又一遍经历那些伤痛
Well, hello to you, too. What do you want?
我也向你问好。你想干嘛
I understand we're no longer a couple, but I would like to remind you that we made a baby together. What baby?
我知道我们已经不是一对了，但我想提醒你，我们还有爱的结晶。什么爱的结晶
A precocious little Internet show known as "Fun With Flags."
一个网络节目，人称《有趣的旗帜》
I'm hanging up. Great. See you in about half an hour.
我要挂电话了。好的，咱们半小时后见
Sheldon, I am not doing "Fun With Flags" with you. Why not? Because we're broken up.
谢尔顿，我才不要跟你录那个节目。为啥不要？因为我们分手了
Sonny and Cher made it work. Their variety show kept going long after the divorce, and here we are still talking about them.
索尼与雪儿就做到啦，他们的综艺节目在离婚后还维持了很久，直到现在还被我们聊起
No one's talking about Sonny and Cher.
没人聊索尼与雪儿好吗
You must be thinking about Donny and Marie, 'cause you and I are clearly talking about Sonny and Cher.
你一定是想到了唐尼与玛丽，因为我跟你绝对是在聊索尼与雪儿
Sheldon, this has to stop. I know it's hard. It's hard for me, too.
谢尔顿，到此为止吧。我知道这很困难，这对我也不容易
But I've seen and talked to you more in the two days we've been broken up than in the last two months that we were together.
但分手后的这两天我们见面与说话的量远远胜过我们分手前两个月的总和
Well, if you want to see less of me, maybe we should go out again.
如果你想少见到我一点，那或许我们应该重修旧好
I can't believe you made out with Mandy Chao.
真不敢相信你跟曼蒂·周亲热过
Trust me, I wish it never happened.
相信我，我希望这事从未发生过
And you knew about this this whole time? I did. And you didn't think to tell me?
而你一直以来都知道这事。是的。而你没想过告诉我吗
Leonard asked me to keep it to myself.
莱纳德要我保密
Let's leave Leonard out of this for the moment. This is about you and me.
现在这事跟莱纳德没关系，这是我跟你之间的事
Wait, wait, wait, how is my dayold marriage falling apart becoming about you two?
等等，我一天就快散的婚姻怎么变成你们的问题了
Hang on. What do I need to do to make you trust me?
你等等，我该怎么做才能让你信任我
You think it's hard having one wife, try having two.
你觉得有一个老婆就很辛苦了吗？你试试有两个
I bet you told Bernadette all about he was screwing around with Mandy Chao.
你肯定告诉伯纳黛特他跟曼蒂·周胡搞瞎搞的事情
Oh, we didn't screw around. We just got drunk and made out.
我们才没有胡搞瞎搞，我们只是喝醉酒，打个啵儿
Whatever. It would have been nice to hear it from you.
随便啦，我更希望这话从你口中听到
What are you doing here?
你来干嘛
I'm here to return your belongings. That's what people who've broken up do.
我来把你的东西还给你，情侣分手都这么做
And you didn't do your compulsive knocking ritual so I would open the door.
而你故意不用你强迫症式的敲门方式好让我没戒心就开门
On the contrary, you no longer get to enjoy my charming eccentricities. We're not friends with benefits.
那你就错了，你现在没资格享受我可爱的小怪癖。我们不再是有"福利"的朋友
Just give me the box.
把箱子给我吧
W-Wait. Don't you want to go through it to make sure I haven't forgotten anything?
等等，你不想过一遍里面的东西吗？以免有东西我给忘拿了
Fine. My old scarf.
好吧，我的旧时围巾
You wore it the night we went iceskating. Remember?
我们去溜冰的那个晚上你围着它，还记得吗
You mean the night that I went iceskating, and you stood at the rail googling the symptoms of hypothermia?
你是指我一个人溜冰，而你在一边扶着扶手一边网上搜失温症的症状那晚吗
We made one heck of a team, huh?
我们俩真是天造地设的一对啊
Whose bra is this? It's not yours?
这是谁的胸罩?不是你的吗?
Oh, my. How embarrassing for both of us. It's Penny's.
老天,这下咱俩都尴尬了。这是佩妮的吧
Hey, you broke up with me. It is none of your business whose naked bosom I'm smooshing around like pizza dough. Goodbye.
咱俩分手了，我把谁的咪咪像披萨面团那样搓揉，都不关你的事。再见
Amy. Amy. Amy. Tables work, too. Good to know.
艾米 ，艾米，艾米。敲桌子也行，学到新知识
Ooh, brownies for girls' night!
闺蜜之夜的巧克力蛋糕
Hands off. I'm mad at you.
手拿开，我在生你的气呢
Look, I know it's a lot of money, but the guy at the store said in five to seven years, it'll pay for itself.
我知道那是一大笔钱，但那个店员说五到七年内，就能收回成本
What will pay for itself?
什么东西收回成本
Doesn't matter. What are you mad about?
没什么，那你在气什么呀
I'm mad at you for blabbing to me what Leonard did on the North Sea, and I'm mad that I've had to hide this from Penny for two years.
我气你告诉我莱纳德在北海的所作所为，我还气你让我瞒了佩妮整整两年
And you have every right to be mad about those things. So, why don't you let me handle the credit card bill this month
你完全有权对这些事情生气，不如这个月的信用卡账单我来处理
huh? I mean, don't even look at it.
怎么样? 你别管了，连看都不用看
I mean, if Penny finds out I've known all this time and haven't told her, she's gonna think I'm a terrible friend.
如果佩妮发现我一直都知道却没有告诉她，她肯定会认为我是一个坏朋友
I wish you never told me. And I wish Leonard never told me. He's the bad guy here.
真希望你从未告诉我，我也希望莱纳德从未告诉我，他才是最坏的那个
I guess that's true. And you let Penny marry him.
的确是，而你还让佩妮嫁给他
Compared to that, who cares if I bought a George Clooney limited edition manscaping kit?
比起这个，我买的乔治·克鲁尼限量版的体毛修剪套装根本不值得一提
Hi. I'm calling about your marriage counseling services and was curious what your rate is.
你好，我想预约你们的婚姻咨询服务，请问一般怎么收费
Really? Um, okay. Is there any kind of discount for length of marriage? 'Cause we're just talking hours here.
不是吧，好吧，能根据婚姻的长短打折吗？我说的是以小时计算的婚姻
Hi. Call you back. Can we talk? I would love that.
在呀，等会打给你。我们能聊聊吗？我十分乐意
All right, look, I'm sorry I said I was okay with everything before we got married. I hate that we're going through this, but I don't know what to do.
听着，很抱歉在结婚之前我说我不介意。我讨厌我们现在有这矛盾，但我不知道该怎么做
If you don't mind waiting for a Groupon, we can try marriage counseling.
如果你不介意等团购劵出来，我们可以试试婚姻咨询
Hello. Hey, uh, buddy, can we have some privacy?
你们在呀，伙计，你能回避一下吗
Oh, of course. Wouldn't want to intrude. This is yours.
当然可以，我也不想打扰你们。这是你的
Okay, when I'm done with him, I'm gonna need more information.
等我跟他谈完，咱俩再好好聊聊
Nothing odd. I just wanted to rub Amy's nose in it.
没什么不妥的，我就拿来让艾米难堪而已
Okay, look, I might be overreacting, but how am I supposed to get past this when I know tomorrow you're gonna go to work and see this woman?
听着，我可能是反应过度了，但我怎么可能明知道你明天去上班就会见到她，我怎么不介意会见到这个女人
Forgive me for eavesdropping, but as I see it, there's a simple solution.
原谅我偷听了，但在我看来，有一个简单的解决办法
Wake up, wake up, wake up. Bring Penny to meet Mandy. What? Why?
醒醒，快醒醒，带佩妮去见曼蒂。为什么
Well, right now, Penny's imagination is running wild, but if they meet, that will eliminate the mystery and alleviate her fears.
现在佩妮的胡思乱想根本停不下来，但如果她们见面了，就能消除曼蒂的神秘感，减轻佩妮的恐惧感
Like when that Sparkletts guy let me look under his eye patch.
就像那个独眼龙揭了眼罩让我看
Uh, first of all, you made that guy cry. And we learned that you don't need an eyeball to do that.
首先，你把人家弄哭了，而我们学到了，没有眼珠也能哭
Secondly, I can't think of a more horrible idea than Penny meeting Mandy.
其次，带佩妮去见曼蒂这个主意糟透了
Really? Why is that? What, you actually want to meet her?
是吗，怎么说？怎么，你还真想见她
No, but now that you're being weird about it, maybe I should.
不啊，但现在看你对此反应异常，或许我真该去
I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
我才没有反应异常，我有反应异常吗
Yes. And that's coming from me.
有啊，连我这种怪咖都这么觉得
Fine, you want to meet her?
好吧，你想见她吗
No, I just want to know that when you're at work, there's nothing going on.
不，我只想知道你们俩上班时不会发生任何越轨的事
How many times do I have to tell you? I have no interest in this woman.
我得说多少遍你才信，我对这个女人一点兴趣都没有
Yeah, well, maybe she has interest in you.
或许人家对你有兴趣呢
In Leonard? Oh, even the Sparkletts guy could see that's unlikely.
对莱纳德吗？就连独眼龙都看得出没可能好吗
I guess my big problem is I never saw Leonard as the kind of guy who woulde do something like this.
我想我最在意的点就是我从来没想过莱纳德也会做这种事
Anybody can make a mistake in a weak moment. What do you think?
人容易在脆弱的时候犯错。你觉得呢
Oh, I don't know what to think. But then again, I just found out about it.
我完全没有想法，再重申一次，我是刚刚才知道这事
You know, I fell in love with Leonard because he wasn't anything like the guys I was used to dating.
我之所以爱上莱纳德是因为他和我曾经交往过的其他人不同
I mean, I knew those guys weren't above cheating because that's usually how we met.
我知道那些渣男都喜欢出轨，因为我就是他们的小三
Come on, you know Leonard's not like that.
你知道莱纳德不是那样的人
I want to believe you. I really do. Am I being naive?
我很想相信你，真的。是我好傻好天真了吗
Oh, I don't know. This is all so new to me. I'm still processing.
我不知道，第一次听到这事，我还在努力消化中
You know, he never would've done this when we first met. He's cockier now.
我们刚认识时，他根本不可能做这种事。他现在可能耐了
That's because you made him more confident. You know, if you think about it, without you, he never would've grown into the person he is now.
那是因为你让他变得自信了，你仔细想想，如果没有你，怎么可能有现在意气风发的他
I mean, sure, more women might notice him, but I think it's better to have a guy be with you
虽然他现在受欢迎了，但他愿意放弃弱水三千
because he wants to be and not because he thinks he doesn't have any other choice.
与你相守，总好过他觉得自己没人爱，只好巴着你啊
I never thought about it like that.
我还从没这样想过
Oh, me neither, not until just now.
我也没有，这是刚想到的
