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Penny, hello. Hey, sheldon. What is shaking? I'm sorry?
佩妮好啊。谢尔顿好。你咋样啊？什么？
It's colloquial, a conversation opener.
这是口头语嘛，开场白。
So, do you find the weather satisfying?
你觉得今天天气好吗？
Are you currently sharing in the triumph of some local sports team?
我们本地的球队赢球了，你是否为之一振？
What's wrong with you? Freaking me out.
你搞什么名堂，吓到我了。
I'm striking up a casual conversation with you. So up?
我在跟你闲聊啊，咋样？
Please don't do that.
我求你别再说了。
All right, But I'm given to understand that when you have something awkward to discuss with someone, it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat.
好吧，不过我觉得如果你要和某人谈一个很尴尬的问题之前，最好跟他说几句无关紧要的闲话。
So, this wasn't the awkward part? No. Oh, all right. So up? Oh, good, I used that right.
就是说刚才那还不算尴尬事了？不算。那好吧，咋了？太好了，我又说对了。
Anyway, You're aware that leonard has entered into a new Romantic relationship which includes a sexual component?
说正事吧。你应该已经注意到了，莱纳德最近和一个女人发生了一段带有性关系的感情？
Okay, feeling the awkward now.
现在我能感到尴尬了。
Her name is dr. Stephanie barnett and she is a highly Distinguished surgical resident at Freemont Memorial.
她的名字是斯蒂芬妮·巴内特医生，她是弗里蒙特纪念医院一名杰出的外科医生。
Yeah, Leonard told me. good. What he may have left out is how important this relationship is to me.
莱纳德告诉过我了。很好。但他可能没告诉你，这段感情对我来说非常重要。
To you? Yes, see, of the handful of women leonard's been involved with, She's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
对你？是的，在那些为数不多的和莱纳德约会过的女人中，只有她还算像样。
Well, what about me? The statement stands for itself. Well, aren't you sweet?
那我呢？这应该是不言自明的。你嘴好甜。
Anyway, should you have any interaction with her, It would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival.
而且你应该多和她接触一下，好让她别感觉到你是她的性竞争对手。
Yeah, I think she's pretty safe.
我看她没什么好担心的。
You say that now, but consider the following senario you're sitting in your apartment, It's late, you're alone.
你现在是这么说，设想一下，漆黑的晚上，你孤身一人坐在家里。
Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and Progesterone and suddenly even Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate.
你的下丘脑里正游走着雌激素和孕激素，这时在你眼里就算莱纳德也会是一名有生育能力的性对象。
Or a, uh, "hook up" As it's referred to by today's urban youth.
或者说配对，现在的都市青年好像都这么说的。
Really? yes. Now, should that happen, I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
真的吗？是的。如果万一发生这种情况，我要求你找到一种压制自己性冲动的办法。
I could think about you. Fine, whatever works.
只需要想你就可以了。好，只要管用就行。
Always nice talking to you, sheldon. Uh, peace out!
和你交谈总是很愉快，谢尔顿。再见。
Well, this is very pleasant. Glad you're enjoying yourself.
今晚多么美好啊。很高兴你喜欢。
And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us. I stand corrected.
你还说通心粉三个人吃不够呢。我错了。
You know, italian housewives have a rule of thumb. A handful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter is Sufficient for each person as it doubles in volume when cooked.
你们知道么，意大利的家庭主妇都有这样一种经验，只要抓一把直径为一英寸的通心粉放在锅里烧，就足够所有人吃的了，因为它在加热之后会膨胀一倍。
That's very interesting. Thank you. She doesn't mean it. she's just being a nice.
非常有趣。谢谢。她不是真觉得有趣，只是礼节罢了。
Well, stephanie, Since leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball, I guess I'll just have to pick it up.
斯蒂芬妮，既然莱纳德现在不想谈话，那么就由我来顶替他。
Have you ever witnessed a violent crime? No. good. What's your favorite fruit?
你有没有现场目击过凶杀？没。好的。你最喜欢什么水果？
Strawberries. Hmm, technically not a fruit, but all right.
草莓。严格来说不算水果，不过也不追究了。
Where did you do your medical internship? Uh, lawrence memorial in galveston, texas. Really? that's where I was born!
你的医学实习是在哪儿做的？劳伦斯纪念医院，在德州的加尔维斯敦。真的吗，我就是在那儿出生的。
You're kidding! I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital.
不是吧。在那所医院里我度过了不少童年时光。
When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
我十二岁的时候还坐直升机去哪儿呢。
Why, w w what happened? Radiation burns.
怎么了啊？辐射烧伤。
A little mishap while I was building my own cat scanner.
我在做轴向分层造影扫描机时发生了一点小事故。
I'm sorry, you tried to build your own cat scanner? No, I didn't try, I succeeded.
你居然尝试自己造一个轴向分层造影扫描机？我不是尝试，我是成功了。
In fact, I was briefly able to see the inside of my sister's guinea pig, Snowball, before he caught fire.
而且我还用它观察了我姐姐的小豚鼠，雪球的内脏。然后他就烧起来了。
It led to an interesting "not a snowball's chance in a cat scanner."
所以我们家很流行一句话，豚鼠躲不过扫描机。
Uh, sheldon? Excuse me. When I come back, just for fun, the subject will be alternative history.
谢尔顿？我离开一下。我回来之后，为了好玩，我们来聊聊架空历史，
Specifically, How would the civil war have gone differently If lincoln had been a robot sent from the future?
主题是如果林肯是来自于未来的机器人，那么南北战争的局势将会如何不同？
Look at that, there's even pasta left over.
看啊，通心粉我们都吃不掉呢。
Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date? I do. Do you? because frankly, you've been in a foul mood since I sat down.
你到底知不知道这是一次约会。明白啊。你明白么，老实说，自打我坐下后你就呆若木鸡。
Okay, here is my question. why did you sit down?
好吧，那我的问题是你为什么要坐下？
To help. Look, if you fail at this relationship, and history suggests you will.
帮你呀。如果你这次又失手了，历史证明你会的。
Then we risk losing the medical officer That our landing party has always needed.
那么我们的先头登陆部队所需的军医很可能就没了。
What landing party?
什么先头登陆部队？
You're kirk, I'm spock, wolowitz is scotty, Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed...
你是柯克，我是史波克，沃罗威茨是史考特，库萨帕里是那个总是被杀的，
And now we've got mccoy.
现在我们有了麦考伊。
So, We're all standing around looking at the post op x ray and there it is, Clear as day, right in the guy's chest cavity...One of my earrings.
所以，我们都站在那看着术后X光片，然后就是那个，众目睽睽之下，就在那人的胸腔里，有我一只耳环。
Oh, my god, what did you do?
天呐，那你怎么办？
What do you think I did? I discreetly slipped off the other earring, Put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there!
你觉得我还能怎么办，我偷偷把另一只耳环给摘了，放在兜里逃离现场。
I have a bone to pick with you, sir.
捉迷藏的奖品。
Hi, sheldon. Hi, stephanie. I'm sorry I'm late, But your companion left the most indecipherable invitation.
嗨谢尔顿。嗨斯蒂芬妮。不好意思我迟到了，但是你的同伴给我的邀请太难破译了。
What invitation? "we're going to the movies." What movie? what theater? what time?
什么邀请？我们去看电影了。啥电影，啥影院，啥时候？
If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you, you couldn't have done a better job.
如果你想要我追踪不到你，那你干得真是再好不过了。
Oh, clearly I could have.
明显我可以的。
It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser History on your computer to see what movie times you looked up.
我花了将近20分钟才从你电脑的网页浏览记录里查到你搜索过的电影时刻表。
Wait here, I'll find us seats. Uh, no, we have seats. Not the right seats.
在这等我，我给咱们找个座。不用，我们有位子。不是正确的位子。
What is he doing? He's finding the acoustic sweet spot. Does he always do this?
他干嘛呢？他在找听觉最优点。他一直都这样吗？
Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone. I am really sorry about this. No, it's fine. you know, he's sweet.
有时他也会带个玩具木琴。真是太抱歉了。不会，还好啦，他挺可爱的。
My apologies, you've been sitting in it all along. Leonard, you want to slide over one? No, just sit here.
不好意思，你们一直都坐对了地方。莱纳德，你们能往里错一个位子吗？不能，您就坐这吧。
Oh, yeah, this is it.
好极了，就是这感觉。
Leonard. Leonard? leonard? ! What, Sheldon? What, Sheldon? ! what, Sheldon? !
莱纳德，莱纳德，莱纳德咋啦谢尔顿？咋啦谢尔顿？咋啦谢尔顿？
Tell me what you see here.
告诉我你在这看到什么？
The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
这个钝器能用来杀人吗？
This is Stephanie's facebook page. Now, where it should say "in a relationship, " what does it say?
这是斯蒂芬妮的facebook网页。你看，本来应该是交往中的，她写的是什么？
"Stephanie barnett is single." Yeah, furthermore, earlier this evening, She threw a digital sheep at some guy named mike.
斯蒂芬妮·巴奈特单身。而且早些时候，她送了一只电子羊给一个叫麦克的人。
Who's mike? ! Why does he get a digital sheep and not you?
谁是麦克？为什么他得到一只电子羊而不是你？
It's just her facebook page and we've Only been going out a couple of weeks. You don't see it, do you? We're losing her.
这只不过是她的facebook网页罢了，而且我们只约会过几周。你还不明白么？我们就要失去她了。
Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you. You are not in this relationship. I am.
好吧，我简而言之，你并不在这场恋爱里面，我在。
Ergo, you have no say in anything that happens between me and stephanie.
也就是说，你对于我和斯蒂芬妮之间发生的事没有发言权。
I'm afraid I can't allow that.
恕难从命。
Pursuant to starfleet general order 104 section a, You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.
根据星际战舰总纲领104第一部分，你不是合适的人选，我替你指挥。
General order 104, section a does not apply in this situation.
总纲领104第一部分不适用于此情况。
Give me one good reason why not. Because this is not startrek.
给我个好的理由为什么不适用。因为这不是《星际迷航》。
Penny? Penny? penny? ! What? This is banana bread. This is a door knob.
佩妮，佩妮，佩妮咋啦？这是香蕉面包。这是门把手。
It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat.
根据我的理解，主动赠送食物可以作为被邀请进屋聊天的敲门砖。
Sheldon, would you like to come in?
谢尔顿，想进来么？
I suppose I could spare a few minutes. Were you robbed?
那就聊一会吧。你被抢劫啦？
No. How can you be sure? Sheldon, what do you want?
没。你怎么会这么肯定？谢尔顿，你想干嘛？
I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you, But leonard is failing in yet another relationship.
我知道你并不会惊讶，不过莱纳德又要失恋了。
He's having problems with stephanie? She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the internet.
他和斯蒂芬妮出问题了吗？她在网上随机给男性赠送虚拟家畜。
If I have any hope of keeping them together, I need data.
我需要数据才能保证他们在一起，
Specifically, I need to know exactly what leonard did that Caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks.
特别是，我要确切地知道莱纳德做了什么让你性趣昂然。
What? Again, urban slang. In which, I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency.
什么？还是用都市俚语吧，我看我用得越来越溜了。
So, what is the "down" and the "low"?
“往下来”和“找低处”如何？
And don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, so, You feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.
别担心，这完全是保密的，你可以自由谈论其性事的缺陷。
We never got to the bedroom. Because?
我们从未上过床。原因是？
Oh, okay, all right, you know what? I'll tell you what happened.
好了，知道吗，我告诉你怎么回事。
We were young, we were very much in love, But we could only communicate through a Timetraveling mailbox at my lake house.
我们当时年少，十分相爱，但我们只能通过我湖边屋的时光穿梭邮箱交流。
