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Phoebe: Oh. Wow.
哇。
Mike: Now, it's just, my first marriage was ... you know ... such a disaster that I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
只是我的第一次婚姻太……太糟糕了，我已经对婚姻失去信心了。
Phoebe: Hmm. Was it really that bad?
有那么糟吗？
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated on.
有一次，到最后……她故意便便在我的……
Phoebe: Okay, well, that's bad. Yeah.
喔，那真糟。
Phoebe: But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps, a blonde who always uses a toilet.
但是你不认为换个人会不一样吗？或许是一个会在厕所便便的金发女郎？
Phoebe: Except for once in the ocean.
除了有一次是便在海里。
Mike: Look it's, it's not about who I would marry.
听着，不是我要娶谁的问题。
Mike: And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong!
我本来也确定我第一次的婚姻会维持永远，我完全错了！
Phoebe: But it's just...
但是，只是……
Mike: Look Phoebe ... It's, it's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
菲比，不是你的原因，我只是再也不想结婚了。
Phoebe: Oh!
哦呜！
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that?
我很抱歉。你可以接受吗？
Mike: Because if not ... maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
如果不行的话，或许我们一起住不是个好主意。
Phoebe: No! Oh, I definitely don't wanna get married.
可以，喔，我当然也不希望结婚。
Phoebe: Now I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to, too. Whew! Cause you know when we move in ... and you start changing your mind ... there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
我只想确定你也不想要。因为如果我们住在一起，然后你开始改变心意我们就有麻烦了，先生！
Mike: Trust me, I will never.
相信我，我永远不……
Phoebe: Yeah I get that, yeah.
好的，我知道了。
Rachel: Hi!
嘿！
Monica: Hi! So you gave in and decided to call someone?
嗨，最后你决定请人来帮忙了？
Rachel: Yeah ... I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks.
是啊，我不知道我是在想什么，我连筷子都不会用。
Handyman: You're all set.
都装好了。
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. Oh oh wait! You uh forgot your erm ... Your game. Thank you.
喔，真的很谢谢你等等，你忘了你的……玩具。谢谢你。
Monica: Rach, Is this my sweater?
瑞秋，这是我的线衫吗？
Rachel: Yeah.
是啊。
Monica: What happened to the sleeve? Moths?
袖子怎么了呢？蛀虫吗？
Chandler: Hey Rach! There she is ... My perfectly proportioned wife.
嘿，瑞秋，我身材完美的老婆在这里。
Rachel: Don't look at me, I never get his jokes.
别看我，我从来没有听懂过他的笑话。
Monica: Thank you?
谢谢你？
Chandler: No no, don't thank me.
不、不，别谢我。
Chandler: Thank you. Do you know there's not one thing that I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not ... two ... single things.
谢谢你，你知道我不会想要改变你任何一点吗？一点也没有，而且特别是……那两点。
Monica: Ok, you're being weird. Do you want sex or did you do something bad?
好的，你真的很怪你想上床吗？还是做了什么错事？
Chandler: No no no! I just love the way you look ... I am warm ... for your form.
不、不、不，我就是爱你这模样，我爱你的……身材。
Monica: Ok, um, you know the old classics, like, you know, "You look nice"? They're still ok.
好的，你知道传统上都是说 “你看起来很好”吧？这句话还是适用。
Chandler: Well yes yes, but you look nice can mean that I'm saying that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean ... I wouldn't change it ... At all.
但是“你看起来很好”可能只是代表 “你的脸蛋看起来很好”，我想要赞美你的身体。我是说，我一点都不想改变它。
Chandler: And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
而且更详细地说，就是我不想要加大任何东西。
Monica: Ok.
好的。
Chandler: I mean ... you wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.
我是说……你也不会想要我身体的某部份加大，不是吗？不用回答
Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any weirder.
我还以为那老兄不可能更怪了。
Monica: I know, why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger?
你觉得他为何要担心我会变大？
Rachel: I don't know! I mean ... what brought that on?
我不知道，那是怎么回事呢？
Monica: Oh my God. Oh my God, you know we're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is gonna change.
我的天，你知道吗？我们正努力要怀孕，所以他可能很怕我的身材会变形。
Rachel: No ... you really think that's what it is?
你认为是这样吗？
Monica: You heard him!
你也听到了！
Monica: "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!"
“不要变大，你很完美了 不要再变大了！”
Monica: Oh my God he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach.
天啊，他听起来就像是我高中的摔角教练。
Monica: I'm gonna have to talk to Chandler. Rachel: Yeah. If you don't, I will. Of course your body's gonna change.
我必须要跟钱德谈谈 是啊，如果你不去，我会去。当然你的身材会变形。
Rachel: Your breasts are gonna get bigger. . your ass is gonna get bigger ... you're gonna lose bladder control.
你的胸部会变大，你的屁股会变大……你会膀胱无力。
Rachel: God! It's just such a magical time!
我的天，真是奇妙啊！
Phoebe: Hi.
嗨！
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
听着，我想要请教你关于婚姻的事。
Ross: Oh great now you're seeking me out to make jokes?
现在你跑来找我，是要取笑我吗？
Ross: I mean I can see for all hanging out but to come to my home!
我们出去在一起的时候被取笑，我可以理解，但是跑到我家来！
Phoebe: No, I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
不，我真的想知道你的意见。
Ross: Why?
为什么？
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
麦克永远不想要结婚。
Phoebe: Never?
永远吗？
Ross: Never.
永远。
Ross: Wow, are you-you still gonna move in with him?
哇，你还要跟他同居吗？
Phoebe: Oh I want to, but, I just want you to tell me that marriage really isn't that big a deal.
我想啊，但是我要你告诉我，结婚真的不算什么。
Phoebe: You know, that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
没结婚也不必后悔，婚姻烂毙了。
Ross: Yeah ... marriage ... stinks!
是啊，婚姻烂毙了！
Ross: I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get 'em married.
我是说，如果你想看到男人变肥，女人不再除毛……就叫他们结婚吧。
Phoebe: That's not how you really feel, is it?
那不是你真正的感觉，对吧？
Ross: No, I'm sorry.
不是，我很抱歉。
Ross: Look I-I know it's not what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I-I love marriage.
我知道那不是你想听的话，但是我没有办法说谎，我喜欢结婚。
Phoebe: Seriously? You divorce-o?
真的吗？你这个“离婚专家”？
Ross: If you have to call me a name, I prefer Ross the Divorcer. It's just cooler.
如果你要帮我取绰号，我比较喜欢 “罗斯，离婚王”，听起来较酷。
Ross: Look, look, I know my marriages didn't exactly work out. But,
听着，我知道我的婚姻并没有成功。
Ross: you know, I-I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol and I had some good times before she became a lesbian!
但我喜欢对另一个人做那种程度的承诺，在卡萝变成女同性恋之前，我们度过许多快乐的时光！
Ross: And once afterward.
之后还有一次。
Ross: Anyway, I-I'm sorry.
反正，很抱歉。
Phoebe: Uh, it's ok, that's how you feel.
没关系，这是你的真实感受。
Phoebe: But, come on, I mean, living together will be great. I mean, you guys have so much fun. And you love Mike.
但是，别这样，住在一起也很棒啊，我是说你们会很快乐的，而且你爱麦克啊。
Phoebe: I do love Mike.
我是很爱麦克。
Ross: Yeah, see?
是啊，不是吗？
Ross: And you are so excited about moving in together before ... and you know? You should be. It's a big deal!
而且你之前很期待同居的，而且你知道吗？期待是对的，这是很大的一步！
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess you're right.
是啊，我想你说的对。
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. This helped. Thanks.
是啊，谢谢，真有帮助，谢谢。
Phoebe: The Divorcer to the rescue.
离婚王拯救众生。
Phoebe: It's not cooler.
并没有比较酷。
Ross: Yeah I just heard it.
我听到了。
Joey: Rach? !
瑞秋？
Joey: Rachel! ?
瑞秋！
Joey: So I can't do anything I like? !
所以我想做什么都不行吗？
Rachel: Unbelievable.
不可思议。
Rachel: Chandler wants you to have a baby, and he doesn't want your body to get any bigger. I mean, it's not like he's so perfect.
钱德要你生小孩，但是不许你身材变形他自己又不是多完美。
Monica: Hey, that's my husband.
嘿，他是我老公。
Rachel: All right, let's solve one problem a time.
好吧，我们一次解决一个问题。
Chandler: Hey Rach! Ah ...
嘿，瑞秋……
Chandler: Perfection. Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
完美，什么都不必改变，完美无缺。
Monica: Honey?
亲爱的？
Chandler: Yeah?
怎样？
Monica: About that? Erm ...
关于那件事？
Monica: I'm going to change.
我会变的。
Chandler: Yes, but honey, you, you don't have to.
是的，但是亲爱的，你不需要。
Monica: I'm gonna get bigger.
我会变得大一点。
Chandler: Honey, I...
亲爱的，我……
Chandler: I love your breasts the way they are.
我喜欢你胸部现在的样子。
Rachel: Argh. Fascist.
大男人。
Monica: Well, my breasts are gonna get bigger whether you like it or not!
我的胸部会变大的，不管你喜不喜欢！
Monica: And-and you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is gonna get bigger too.
而且不只是我的胸部，我的屁股也会变大。
Chandler: your ass? !
你的屁股？！
Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!
而且如果她的手脚也变大，别太惊讶！
Chandler: They ... Do that?
它们也会吗？
Monica: It's kind of a package deal!
这就像整套的一样！
Chandler: God, why, why would you wanna do that to yourself! ?
天啊，为什么？为什么你要对自己做这种事呢？
Monica: I thought I was something that we both wanted!
我以为这是我们俩都想要的！
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, I may be able to get on aboard with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
如果这对你那么重要，关于胸部，我或许可以释怀，但是大屁股还有大脚丫？
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler!
喔，天啊，钱德！
Rachel: If you can't handle this, what are you gonna be like in the hospital? with the blood and screaming and the little person that's shooting out of her?
如果你连这个都受不了，那你到了医院要怎么办？加上流血和尖叫声，还有那个从她身体挤出来的小人？
Chandler: What?
什么？
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
乔伊！你为什么要跟钱德说莫妮卡要去做隆乳手术呢？
Joey: Because she is!
因为她是要啊！
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
钱德知道我跟你借钱了。
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
为了要做隆乳手术！
Monica & Rachel & Chandler: Joe! Stop it. It's over.
乔伊，结束了。
Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
好了，所以我借出了四千块，结果没有人的胸部会变大？
Ross: Hey! Hey, what'd you guys think about this. Ross. The Divorce-Force.
嘿！嘿，你们觉得这样如何呢？罗斯，离婚生力军。
Phoebe: Better.
比较好了。
Ross: Yeah?
是吗？
Mike: Very cool.
非常酷。
Ross: Hey Pheebs ... You know I'm-I'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
嘿，菲比 我真的很高兴那天你过来找我谈，希望我有帮上忙。
Phoebe: Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you.
是啊，你帮忙很多！是啊，很谢谢你。
Ross: Good, good.
很好，很好。
Ross: Yeah 'cause the more I thought about it, the more I realized I don't think marriage is necessarily the right path for you.
因为我越想越觉得……婚姻对你而言，不见得是必经之路。
Phoebe: What'd you mean?
你是什么意思？
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffee house you were all caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you?
我知道那天在咖啡屋的时候……你很沉醉于当足球妈妈什么的但是那是真的你吗？
Ross: I mean, can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
你可以想像自己开着沃尔沃汽车吗？
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy.
沃尔沃是太有棱有角了。
Ross: You know, look, people like me like stability and security, you don't.
像我这样的人才需要安定感，你不需要。
Ross: And that's what so incredible about you.
而这就是你很了不起的地方。
Ross: You know? You got this wild ... and crazy life, I mean,
你有狂放不羁的生活我是说，
Ross: I don't know ... you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so ... normal.
婚姻对你是很无趣的，我是说，那太中规中矩了。
Phoebe: Uh huh, yeah.
是啊。
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
嘿，需要帮忙吗？
Chandler: Well! We er ... climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pit bull ...
我们爬了四层楼，好不容易通过狭窄的通道再躲过一只狂犬病斗牛狗。
Chandler: But these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
但是最后这三尺路才是最崎岖的。
Ross: You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.
有时候你的话真伤人。
Joey: Hey, eh ... where'd you guys want this?
嘿，你们要把这个放哪呢？
Rachel: Yeah, seriously. Cause this is really heavy.
是啊，快点，因为真的很重。
Rachel: I mean not for me because I'm only pretending to hold it, but for these guys.
不是对我，因为我只是假装扶着，但是他们几个真的快被压死了。
Phoebe: Just one-one last time erm ... the marriage thing, there's no wiggle room? None at all?
最后再问你一次结婚的事，没有再思考的空间吗？一点都没有？
Mike: No, but ... you don't wanna get married either right?
没有，但你也不想结婚，不是吗？
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do wanna get married.
没错此外，我是真的想要结婚。
Joey: Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
不能在楼下卸货前先谈这个吗？
Mike: What? You wanna get married?
什么？你想要结婚？
Phoebe: Someday.
总有一天。
Chandler: Aaaaand ... hernia.
还有……疝气。
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and-and I never really felt like I was missing out on anything but,
我从未有过正常的生活，而我也从没有觉得失去过什么，但是，
Phoebe: it just, it feels that now it's my turn to have some of the regular stuff.
总觉得好像该轮到我拥有正常的东西了。
Mike: If you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?
你为什么不早说呢？
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And-and I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
我之前不确定我有多想要，而且我爱你，我想要跟你一起住。
Mike: Yeah I wanna live with you too! I mean, let's do that!
我也想跟你一起住！我是说，我们就这样做吧！
Phoebe: But I don't I don't think I can!
但是我不觉得我可以！
Phoebe: It was okay to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen.
当我不清楚未来时，我们是可以一起住的。
Phoebe: but I-I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
但在知道将来什么事都不会发生之后，我就没办法了。
Monica: I said to bring the cushions up first, but no.
我说先搬椅垫，你们就不要。
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might you might change your mind about marriage.
我们可以至少先试试同居吧？你或许会改变对婚姻的想法。
Phoebe: Are you gonna change yours?
你会改变你的想法吗？
Mike: No.
不会。
Phoebe: Me neither.
我也不会。
Phoebe: Um, I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
我想我需要跟想法一样的人在一起。
Mike: But I don't want this to end.
但是我不想要结束。
Phoebe: No, I don't want it to end either.
我也不想要结束。
Mike: I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff picked up.
我不敢相信就要这样结束了。我会把我的东西打包好。
Phoebe: Yeah ... Ok.
好的。
Mike: Ok ... so, uh,
好的，那么……
Mike: Goodbye.
再见。
Everyone: Bye-bye Mike! See you Mike. Bye-bye now.
再见，麦克，再见，麦克。
Rachel: I'm so sorry Pheebs.
我很难过。
Monica: We're all sorry.
菲比我们都很难过。
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean, at least you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you.
往好处想，至少你不用跟那张丑椅子在一起！那早就在这里了，对不对？我爱你们。
Joey: Ah Hah! I did it! Ha Ha!
我办到了！我办到了！
Joey: Alright.
太好了。
Joey: Better take all I can carry ...
最好多拿一点……
Joey: Who knows when I'll be able to get in here again huh? !
谁知道下次能不能打得开呢？
