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Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one banana nut muffin left.
钱德，莫妮卡，香蕉核果松饼只剩一个。
Oh, I ordered mine first.
我先点的。
Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster...
对，但我比你迅速。
Give it to me.
给我。
No.
不。
Give it to me.
给我！
Uh, ok, you can have it.
那给你吧。
There you go, enjoy your coffee.
请慢慢享用你的咖啡。
That was there when I got here.
我来之前它就在那了。
Hey, you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
各位，你们绝对猜不到谁要来纽约。
Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
菲比，在他吞下去以前说。
Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
我在海军服役的男朋友莱恩。
You went out with a guy in the Navy?
你有个当海军的男友？
Yeah, I met him when I uh was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
对，我在华盛顿广场，演奏吉他的时候认识的。莱恩丢咸水太妃糖给我，因为他没有零钱。
Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
你的“咸水太妃男子”歌，就是那个时候写的？
No. No, he is my submarine guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together.
不，他是我的潜水艇男人，他两年出水一次…然后我们有最不可思议的，三天相处的时间。
Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
只是他这一次要来两个礼拜，整整两个礼拜，耶！
So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?
等等，你是说这个家伙，每次一下水就是两年？
That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
这是你舔我松饼的教训。
Hiii.
嗨。
Oh no, what happened?
怎么了？
Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
卡萝刚刚告诉我说，小班得了水痘。
Oh no.
不。
Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
所以如果你们还没有得过，那你们大概会得到。
Well I've had it.
我得过了。
Yeah, I've had it.
我也得过了。
Had it.
得过。
Had it.
得过。
Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. Oh look!
我从来没得过，我觉得被遗忘了，看！
Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
亲爱的，你又铺床了。我说过，你不用铺床的，又不是夏令营。
Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Croce's Leroy Brown.
那我猜昨晚我被女式运动裤袭击，完全没有道理了。我要去洗澡了，今天我要唱杰姆克劳奇的“勒罗伊布朗”。
Monica...Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
莫妮卡，我有个问题。勒罗伊是“全镇最坏的男人”…还是“全镇最胖的男人”。
Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.
最坏，不然那首歌就会叫“胖胖的勒罗伊布朗”。
What're you doing?
你在干什么？
I'm just waiting for you sweetie.
只是在等你，甜心。
Are you remaking the bed?
你在重新铺床吗？
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.
对不起…你铺的样子完全没有问题。
Then, you're redoing it because...
那你重新铺是因为…？
If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
说出来你会认为我疯了。
You're pretty much running that risk either way.
你说不说都会有这个危险。
Ok, you see, the duvet tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.
你看…被子的商标，不该在床的左上角…应该在床的右下角才对。
Oh, well that's not so crazy.
那不会很疯狂。
I'm just easing you in.
这只是开头，先让你轻松一些。
Huh, alright.
好。
Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
你看到这些小花了吗？那应该往上不是往下…因为床头的位置，是太阳的方向。你不再爱我了，是不是？
Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
事实上，如果可能的话，我会更爱你了。
Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
真的？那来吧…我要教你，怎么把卫生纸折出尖角来。
Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
如果你需要一个工作应急的话…我可以给你一个，基层的资料处理员的工作。
But don't you need experience for a job like that?
那种工作难道不需要经验吗？
It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
要学也不困难。如果你怕别人看出，你不晓得自己在干什么的话，你是演员啊。那就扮演一个处理员，人们就会相信你是个处理员了。
Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections.
钱德，这是今早的预算表。
Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
谢了，史考，这是乔伊。乔伊他也是一个处理员。
No kidding.
真的？
Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
我处理，人要找人处理，他们会找我。
Where do you work?
你在哪儿工作？
Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much...processing any more.
我正在转业当中。你也知道的嘛，今天你还在处理，到了明天你就没有那么多可以处理的了。
I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
我正要告诉乔伊，弗雷茨曼的部门刚组建。
Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Hahaha...
弗雷茨曼的部门。那你要记住别碰他的三明治啊。
Haha. Are all you processors dorks?
你的处理员都是傻蛋，是不是？
Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.
你擦上这口红真美。
You look fabulous honey, you really do.
你美呆了，真的。
Yeah? Are you sure, really.
你们确定吗？真的吗？
You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.
瞧，美得不得了。看在上帝的份上，把灯调暗。
I, I, I'm hideous.
我好恐怖喔。
It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnacles on your butt.
不会有问题的。莱恩一直在水下，你屁股没有长藤壶，他就该谢天谢地了。
Come in.
请进。
Hey baby, I'm back...
宝贝，我回来了…
Hey Ryan, what's up? ?
莱恩，你好吗？
What's going on?
你怎么了？
Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
不要…不要再往前走了。我长痘痘了！
Chicken or small?
水痘还是天花（性病）？
Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.
水痘（又名鸡痘），很讽刺，因为我是素食者不吃鸡。
Why aren't you at home in bed?
那为什么不在家里休息？
'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
因为我外婆没得过水痘。拜托，告诉我你得过。老天，我忘了你多可爱了。
I'm sorry, I never had 'em.
抱歉，我没得过。
Ohh, ohh.
噢。噢。
If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
如果可以许一个愿的话，要回到我七岁…吉米得水痘的时候，我会抓住他的手按在我脸上。
Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
对呀，或许你也可以希望，我现在没有得水痘。
Can I please see your face?
我可以看你的脸吗？
Nope. You don't wanna see a face covered with pox.
不行，你不会想看一张痘子脸的。
Your face could be covered with lox, I wouldn't care.
就算长满熏鲑鱼我也不会在乎。
And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me...Oh, I am scary.
可是你恨鱼。真贴心，好吧，那你看嘛。这就是我。很抱歉！我很吓人吗？
Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate coincidence. You look lovely, lovely.
不，是闪电！刚才的闪电真是很不巧。你很漂亮，你真的很漂亮。
I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
好讨厌。告诉你，我计划了两个最不可思议的礼拜。而我所计划的一切，都得比现在更为亲密。
Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us.
我跟一群男人在钢管里关了八个月…我一直祈盼的就是这个时刻。我不会让这里…也痒，那里也痒，分开我们两个。
Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
这是我得过的最浪漫的病。
Hey.
嗨。
Hey, how's the first day going?
第一天上班怎么样？
Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
蛮好的，就像你说的。大部分只是把数字，从一栏放到另一栏而已。
Well there you go.
我跟你说过了。
Hey and everybody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
而且大家都很好，我刚才跟那个红发女士聊天，叫金妮的。
Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie?
金妮？东岸营业部的总裁金妮。
Yeah, 'turns out our kids go to the same school.
原来我们的孩子上同一所学校。
Yeah, small world huh?
世界真小。
Weird world. Your kids?
世界真怪。你的孩子？
I figure my character has kids.
我猜我的角色有孩子。
You know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
那句话，我没有一个字听得懂的。
Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processing guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
你瞧，演戏的时候，你需要思考那类的事情。我的角色，资料处理员乔瑟夫…有两个女儿，艾士莉跟布妮。布妮做什么艾士莉都要学。
Hoho. Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
有时隐形小孩就是那个样子的。
Yeah. You know, Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid...You know what? Just did.
乔瑟夫跟他太太凯伦正考虑再生一个。知道吗？刚刚生了。
Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
我想你那想像的精子一定非常强。
You know what makes the itching even worse?
你知道什么比痒更难受吗？
That you don't stop talking about it.
你要继续提这个吗？
Fine.
好。
Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. Here we go, double sixes, here we go...Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...
只要专心的玩嘛。好。要丢了，十二。要丢了…要丢了…来妈妈这里，准备要滚色子。
What're you doing? Are you scratching?
你在干什么？你在抓痒？
No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
没有，我在祈求好运。
You're scratching. Give me the dice. No.
你在抓痒，把色子给我。不。
Give me the dice.
把色子给我。
No. Here. There. Ooh, double sixes.
不要，好嘛…看，十二。
We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.
我们不能抓，会留下疤。
Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body.
可是我没有办法不去想那个，太难了啦。我只想抓住这些房子，磨擦我的全身。
