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Chandler: So you know, uh, when's he getting back?
你知道他什么时候回来么？
Monica: A couple of days.
几天后吧。
Chandler: You know what, I knew something like this was gonna happen.
我就料到会有这种事情发生的。
Monica: What're you doing? ! Chandler! You can't just go back a phase!
你干嘛？钱德勒，你不能再退回到第一阶段！
Chandler: Yes you can. You're thinking about time, you can't go back in time.
我当然可以，你说的是时间，你不能让时光倒流。
Phoebe: Well, look, why don't you just, why don't you do your phase two strip club thing with us.
你为什么不，不继续你的第二阶段，和我们一起去看脱衣舞表演呢？
Monica: Yeah, come on, we can be guys!
是呀，来吧，我们可以扮男的。
Chandler: No you can't.
你们不行。
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we wanna be guys!
怎么了，不就是扮男的嘛，也许我们本来就想当男的呢！
Chandler: You don't wanna be guys, you'd be all hairy and wouldn't live as long.
你们不会想当男的，男人浑身都是毛，而且活不长。
Phoebe: You know, you, you just stop being such a wuss and get those off and you come with us and watch naked girls dance around! !
你，你别再唧唧歪歪了，脱掉它，然后我们一起去看裸女跳舞。
Chandler: Ok.
好。
Phoebe: I'm sorry.
对不起。
Joey: Hey! Joey Tribbiani! I'm here! I'm here!
嗨！Joey Tribbiani！我来了！我来了！
The AD: Calm down, we got time, we're running a little late.
镇定一下，还有时间，我们开始地迟了一些。
Joey: Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a licorice whip!
瞧哪儿，Charlton Heston 在吃甘草梗。
The AD: Yeah, he loves them. I've never seen him-
恩，他很喜欢吃的，我从没见过他
Joey: Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
哇！这儿怎么了？什么味道这么难闻？
The AD: You.
你呀！
Joey: I-I can see why you would think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
我明白你为什么这么想，不过，你知道实际上我怎么想的吗？
The AD: You?
不是你么？
Joey: No-no, it's uh, it's Heston.
不 - 不是，其实上是，是Heston。
The AD: What?
什么？
Joey: Yeah, the man reeks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some licorice.
就是他身上的，闻起来像是去钓了三天的鱼，然后又吃了那么多甘草梗。
The AD: There's no way he smells, he's the only one around here with a shower in his dressing room.
不可能是他呀，他刚从更衣室里洗了澡出来。
Joey: Really, shower huh? And uh, which-which room might that be?
是么？洗过澡了？嗯，是哪个房间来着？
The AD: The one with "Heston" on it.
门上写着“Heston”的那间。
Joey: Interesting.
有意思。
Monica: Ok, I got some ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
我换了零钞，你要不要去塞她的小裤裤？
Chandler: No thanks, mom!
不用了，妈！
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, um, you have to put that out, 'cause I'm pregnant.
哦，别，那个，你得把烟掐掉，因为我怀孕了。
The Cigarette Smoking Guy: Well, maybe you and your baby oughta go to another strip club.
那你和你的孩子该到别的脱衣舞夜总会去了。
Phoebe: Ha-ha, it's not my baby, ha-ha-ha!
呵-呵，这不是我的孩子，呵-呵-呵！
Monica: Very good, yes. So-
很好，很好。
Phoebe: I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.
我很喜欢，表演的非常棒。
Rachel: Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didn't call.
我刚查了留言，约书亚没打电话过来。
I mean you would think he would be worried about me not showing up at his club.
难道我没去他的夜总会，他一点儿都不担心么？
Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
哦，更糟的是，罗斯却还在佛莫特逍遥快活！
Phoebe: Come on! Look where you are! !
别烦了，看看你们现在在那里！
Monica: Kid, a sec? another round of daiquiris.
麻烦给我们每人一杯鸡尾酒。
Phoebe: Remember, um virgin for me please.
别忘了，我还要个处男。
Monica: Oh! And don't let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy.
哦！走之前别忘了告诉我地毯旁边那个帅哥的名字。
Chandler: Aw.
哦。
Rachel: Oh and Sharon, you know what? Honey, you might wanna just
凯伦，还有，你最好-
Chandler: Oh, come on! All right, you know what, you know what, I'm just gonna go home and call Kathy.
哦，算了吧，我这就回家给凯斯打电话。
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
如果你觉得会有帮助的话。
Chandler: No! That was a test! You know, in a couple of hours I wanna get really drunk and I'm gonna wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me!
不，我只是试试。几小时后我就会烂醉如泥，也许会给凯斯打电话，你们可一定要阻止我呀。
And then after that, I'm gonna be so drunk, I'm gonna wanna call Janice.
然后，如果我醉的一塌糊涂了，说不定还会打电话给詹妮丝的。
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
你确实该打了！她现在怎么样？
Chandler: Ohhh! !
嗷！
Monica: I think somebody needs another lap dance.
我想有人肯定会觉得表演还不够过瘾。
Charlton Heston: Hello! Who's in there?
谁在里面？
Joey: How you doing?
你好吗？
Charlton Heston: Who in the hell are you?
你是谁？
Joey: Uh, I guess you wouldn't believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?
如果我说是Kurt Douglas，你肯定不信，是吧？
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
穿上裤子，我要踢你屁股。
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You don't understand, see, I'm an actor, Joey Tribbiani, I'm doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
别-别-别，等一下，你瞧，我是个演员。Joey Tribbiani，我今天和你配戏，可我太臭了
Charlton Heston: You're in this picture?
你也有戏？
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I'm one of the cops that won't work with you 'cause you're a lose cannon. Anyway, look, I'm really sorry, but I just, I stink!
是，戏里你的倔脾气得罪了所有警察，我演警察甲对不起，实在对不起，我太臭了。
Charlton Heston: Joey, right?
乔伊是吧？
Joey: Yeah.
对。
Charlton Heston: Every actor one time or another - opp!
每个演员总有时候会 ......噢！
Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford won't even watch himself.
会觉得自己很臭，就算是Lawrence Oliver也一样，Bob Redford甚至都不敢正眼瞧自个儿。
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you don't understand...
噢，不-不-不，你没明白我
Charlton Heston: Listen to me!
听我说！
Joey: Oh yeah.
是。
Charlton Heston: I don't know one actor worth his salt who one time in his career didn't say, "God, I stink!"
我就不相信任何一个称职的演员，在他整个事业期里就从没说过：“天哪，我太臭了！”
Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing that you must remember,
我刚在外面演了一场戏，还不是弄得一团糟。可是，最重要的是你要记住的，
no matter how badly you think you stink, you must never ever bust into my dressing room use my shower! Do you understand me? !
不管你觉得自己有多臭，永远也别闯到我的更衣室来，用我的淋浴！你听明白了么？
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, I'm-I'm -
是的，是的，我这就
Charlton Heston: Wait a minute! Take your pants.
等等，把裤子带走。
Joey: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm really sorry.
是，对不起，很抱歉。
Charlton Heston: Phew, what a business.
演艺圈。
Monica: So, we did ok at the strip club, right?
我们在脱衣舞夜总会表现得不错吧？
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
是的，很好，谢谢你们！那里最性感的鸡尾酒女招待都想辞职去教三年级了！
Rachel: I can't believe it! He still hasn't called.
真不敢相信，他还没打电话过来。
Phoebe: Who, Josh?
谁？约许？
Rachel: It's Joshua.
是约书亚。
Monica: What, he doesn't like Josh?
他不喜欢被人开玩笑么？
Rachel: No, I don't.
不，是我不喜欢！
Chandler: All right, well I'm gonna put my sweats back on.
好吧，我去穿回我的运动服。
Phoebe: Oh no! Wait! Wait! Ok, you know what, you were right, you were right. We really weren't great at being guys, but you know why? Because we're girls.
哦别！等一下，好吧，你是对的，我们扮不好男人，可你知道为什么吗？因为我们是女人。
Chandler: Yeah?
是吗？
Phoebe: Ok, and do you know what girls are really good at?
你知道女生最擅长什么？
Chandler: Stripping!
跳脱衣舞！
Phoebe: No, listening! Sit! You know, maybe just, it would really, really help if you would just talk.
不，是倾听！坐下来！也许只要你说出来，就会很有帮助的。
Rachel: Yeah, come on! What's going on in there?
是呀，说吧，你心里都在想些什么？
Monica: Yeah. You know, if you wanna cry, that's ok too.
当然了，如果你想哭的话，也没问题的。
Chandler: Ok, look, I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave.
好了，也许我该让你们都离开一会儿。
Monica: Come on! Chandler!
别这样嘛，钱德！
Chandler: Look, um forget it. We tried, but phase three is a lost cause, ok? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldn't picture myself with any of them.
哦，算了吧，我们努力过了，第三阶段注定无法实现。那些脱衣女郎都野性十足，可我就是无法幻想自己和她们中的任何一个。
Monica: They really were pretty, weren't they?
她们真的很漂亮，不是么？
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
我最喜欢那个救火笼驾驶员。
Monica: Oh, Candy? She was so spunky!
哦，凯蒂！她火花四射！
Phoebe: Yeah.
是啊。
Monica: You know, I think if I were gonna be with a woman. It'd, it'd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
如果，我们想和女人在一起的话，那，那一定要找像莫切尔一样的，她简直太，太姣美了。
Rachel: See, I don't know, for me it would have to Chantal.
是么？我到没这么想，如果是我，我会选Chantal。
Monica: Oh, Chantal!
哦，Chantal。
Rachel: You know, oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her G-string and grazed her thigh...
哦，上帝呀！她的皮肤好光滑呀！当我把一美元塞到她G带里面，手轻擦过她大腿的时候
Chandler: Phase three! I just achieved phase three!
第三阶段！我终于到了第三阶段！
Monica: Really? !
是么？
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
我现在满脑子想的都是你们和那些女人们在一起！
Monica: That's-that's not phase three.
可，那不是第三阶段啊。
Chandler: Well, I'm there too!
不过，我也在里面！
Rachel: Well, are we all together? Like in a group?
哦，我们都在一起吗，像个团体似的？
Chandler: Stop it! You're killing me! I think I just moved on to phase four!
别说了！你们杀掉我吧！我想我就要到达第四阶段了！
Phoebe: Oh! What is that? What is that?
哦！那是什么？那是什么呢？
Chandler: Where I don't wanna have a relationship ever! I just wanna have sex with strippers and my friends! !
我什么关系都不想要！只想和那些脱衣女郎还有我的朋友们做爱！
Chandler: Come on, let me see that smile.
别这样，让我看看你的笑脸。
Joey: I don't wanna.
我不想笑。
Chandler: Please?
拜托啦？
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
我想去脱衣舞夜总会！
Chandler: I know, but you're gonna've plenty of chances ok? There are like thousands of women out there who're just waiting to screw me over.
我知道，你有的是机会，我可以毫不夸张地说，外面有成千上万的女人等着和我胡搞呢。
Joey: Yeah, all right.
是的，好吧。
Monica: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: Hey- ooh, how was Vermont?
嗨，你在佛蒙特过得如何？
Ross: Emily is...incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe her, the whole weekend was-was like, a dream. Oh! And you! Rach!
艾米丽，简直是难以置信，我是说好得无法形容，整个周末就像一场梦。哦！还有你，瑞秋！
Rachel: Oh, hey!
哦，嗨！
Ross: Hey! You were so right!
嗨！你说得太对了！
Rachel: What?
什么？
Ross: Uh, wh-what you said, about us finally being in a place we could really be happy for each other.
你说的，我们因该为彼此的幸福而高兴才是。
Rachel: Oh, hmm.
哦，嗯。
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasn't quite there. You know, I mean, the thought of you and that-that Josh guy...
我是说，我，我得承认开始并没有这样想。因为一想到你和那个叫J约许的小子
Rachel: Joshua.
约书亚。
Ross: Joshua...guy at that club, dancing, having a good time, the thought of it kinda...you know.
叫约书亚的小子在夜总会，跳舞乐逍遥，那种感觉有点儿......你懂么？
Rachel: Yeah, I...
是的，我......
Ross: But now! But now! I'm totally there! I'm-I'm finally where you are.
可是现在！我完全想通了！我现在和你想法一样！
Rachel: Oh, thank, goodness!
谢天谢地！
Ross: Yeah, and-and thank you, for Emily.
谢谢你把艾蜜莉介绍给我。
Rachel: Oh, no problem. I'm so glad I could help. You know, happy for you.
哦，没什么，我很高兴我能帮上忙，也为你高兴！
Ross: Happy for you.
为你高兴！
Rachel: No, happy for you!
不！为你高兴！
Chandler: All right ladies, here's what we're gonna do. You are gonna take off my clothes.
好吧，女士们，我们马上将要做的是，你来脱掉我的衣服。
You two, go get the oils. And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandler's the king! Chandler's the king!"
你们两个去把涂油拿来。你们只要用最大的声音不停地叫：“钱德勒吾王！钱德勒吾王！”
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, I like her.
我，我想和她在一起，我喜欢她。
Chandler: Oh, that's fine! Go with your instincts, go with your instincts.
哦，好吧！按本能自由选择，自由选择。
Monica: Wait, now, what am I doing again?
等一会儿，我要干什么来着？
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
拜托！你能不能专心一点儿，我随时都有可能梦醒！
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, I'm Joshua, I'm here to pick up Rachel.
嗨，我是约书亚，我来接瑞秋。
Rachel: No-no-no, that' not Joshua.
不-不-不，他不是约书亚。
Chandler: Oh, what do you want from me, I've never met the guy.
我又没见过他，管他的呢，
So anyway, Rachel, I'm sorry you can't stay, the rest of us have a lot of work to do.
瑞秋，不好意思你得走了，我们其他的人还有好多要干呢！
What're you doing? All right, listen, I gotta wake up!
你在干嘛？好，我得醒过来！
