Joey: Ok, pick a card, any card. All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it? Um mm.

Joey: All right, give it back to me. 5 of hearts.

Ross: Real magic does exist. Wow. Wow. Joey, how do you do it?

Joey: I can't tell you that, no.

Ross: Ah, somebody's at the door on the ceiling.

Rachel: No, that's our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.

Monica: He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.

Phoebe: Why don't you go up there and ask him to just like step lightly, please?

Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.

Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. I'll go up there, I'll tell him to keep it down.

Monica: All right, be my guest. Good luck.

Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, if you really wanna know how I did it, I'll show ya.

When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye.

I just did it. I just did it again. Here, I'll slow it down so that you guys can see it. Ready?

All: Oh, I got it.

Phoebe: Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired...

Guy: Whoa, you are very beautiful. Oh, thank you.

Chandler: Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little noose at the end?

Monica: Honey, what's the matter? I just saw Janice. Oh.

Chandler: Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them.

Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.

Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.

Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story you know...

Ross: Hey Chandler, eh there's a party tomorrow, you'll feel better then.

Chandler: Oh, you know what, I'm I'm gonna be ok, you don't have to throw a party for me.

Monica: It's Joey's birthday.

Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should've a party it should be him.

Monica: Ssh! ! I cannot believe she is still up there.

Chandler: Ok, well he totally screwed up the punch line. You know, it's supposed to be arrghh eh og errigh.

Mr. Kaplan: How's that coffee coming, dear?

Rachel: Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.

Mr. Kaplan: I'm not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.

Rachel: I know!

Mr. Kaplan: I'll bet you're thinking, 'What's an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee?' Eh?

Rachel: Op. Eh. Oh, you got me.

Mr. Kaplan: Well, don't think I haven't noticed your potential. Well, I've got a project for you that's a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound? Oh, that sounds great.

Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. Come on, come on. Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much. I need these hangers separated ASAP. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Rachel: Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.

Monica: I know honey, I'm sorry.

Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because it's remotely related to the field they're interested in.

Monica: Gee, I don't know Rach. Order up! ! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!

Rachel: Oh honey, come on, I'm sorry, I didn't...I don't mind paying my dues, you know, it's just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.

Rachel: Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?

Guy: I'm sorry, I wa, I wa, I was just ah...

Rachel: It's not funny, this is actually my job.

Guy: Oh believe me, I I I've been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that mannequin surplus.

Rachel: Oh, well then, so I'm uh I'm just gonna go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.

Monica: Actually that's a Barbara Streisandwich. What? I named that one.

Guy: Ah, just one other thing. Yes? !

Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdale's and I might know of a job possibility if you, if you're interested?

Rachel: Do you want my pickle?

Gunther: Hey guys.

Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. I mean you're going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?

Phoebe: Well, he's very charming.

Monica: I know, he's too charming, but if you two start going out, then it's just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.

Phoebe: Well, you're just going to have to try.

Monica: Joey, where are the Jell O shots?

Joey: I don't know, Chandler is supposed to be passing them around...

Joey: Chandler!

Chandler: Hello dillillio! !

Ross: Oh, somebody's feeling better.

Monica: Stick out your tongue. Take off your shirt!

Monica: Oh my! ! Oh my God! How many of these did you have? These are pure vodka.

Chandler: Yeah, Jell O just like Mom used to make.

Rachel: The most unbelievable thing happened to me today. Hi!

Rachel: Hi! So I'm out having lunch at Monica's and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdale's and there happens to be an opening in his department.

So I gave him my phone number and he's gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview! Wow! I know!

Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason? Uh huh!

Ross: And he's, he's a total stranger?

Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.

Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.

Rachel: What! ?

Ross: Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, you know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.

Rachel: To be nice?

Ross: Hey, Joey. Uh, are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?

Joey: No, only for sex. Thank you. So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?

Rachel: I didn't have to, because I was wearing my 'I heart Ross' sandwich board and ringing my bell. Uh huh.

Joey's Sisters: Joey! !! Happy Birthday! !

Chandler: Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?

Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joey's sisters.

Chandler: Hi Joey's sisters! Hey!

Cookie: Hey. What're we drinking over here.

Phoebe: Oh. Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice.

Cookie: No kidding, that's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.

Phoebe: Wow. Ok, I don't know how to talk to you.

Sister 1: Whatcha doing?

Chandler: Oh, I'm taking my ex girlfriend of my speed dialer. Oh! !

Chandler: No no no no, no, it's a good thing.

Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments? Those are some huge breasts you have.

Ross: Hi. Hi.

Ross: Yeah. So um, I I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today. Isn't that great?

Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.

Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, you know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, 'Hummina hummina hummina.'

Ross: That's excellent.

Ross: So, he's just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesn't want anything in exchange for helping you?

Rachel: Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him, but you know, that's true of any job.

Monica: How you feeling?

Chandler: Well, my apartment isn't there anymore, because I drank it.

Phoebe: Where'd you get to? We lost you after you opened up all the presents. Yeah.

Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone. Woooo hoooo! !! Ow, no 'woo hooing,' no 'woo hooing.'

Phoebe: Why, what happened?

Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joey's sister. Well, that's not the worst part.

Monica: What is the worse part?

Chandler: I can't remember which sister.

Ross: You see what men do! Don't tell me men are nice! This is men! !

Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is gonna kill you, he's actually going to kill you dead.

Chandler: Ok! You don't think I thought of that?

Phoebe: How can you not know which one? I mean that's unbelievable.

Monica: I mean, was it Gina? Which one is Gina?

Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.

Monica: No, no, no, that's not Gian, that's Dina.

Chandler: You see you can't tell which one is which either, dwha! !

Phoebe: We didn't fool around with any of them. Dwha! Dwha!

Chandler: Veronica. Look, it's gotta be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.

Monica: That was me.

Chandler: Oh, look, when I've been drinking, sometimes I tend to get a little overly friendly, and I'm I'm sorry. That's ok.

Rachel: That's all right. That's ok.

Joey: Can I talk to you for a second? !

Ross: Hey, Joey. Hey.

Joey: Come on! !

Chandler: Why can't we talk in here? With, with, witnesses.

Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.

Ross: Ah, which, which one?

Joey: Mary Angela. Mary Angela. Yeah.

Monica: You know which one was she again?

Joey: Why don't you ask Chandler, 'cause he's the one that fooled around with her.

She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just getting over Janice by groping my sister.