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Chandler: Hey. - All: Hey!
嗨。-嗨。
Monica: So how was Joan?
琼安怎么样？
Chandler: I broke up with her.
跟她分手了。
All: Oh, Why?
哦，为什么啊？
Ross: Don't tell me, 'cause of the big nostril thing?
别告诉我是因为鼻孔太大？
Chandler: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
真的超大！她打喷嚏时，会有蝙蝠飞出来。
Rachel: Oh come on, they were not that huge.
拜托，没那么大。
Chandler: I'm telling you, she leaned back; I could see her brain.
我给你们说啊，当她仰起头时，我都可以看到她的脑子了。
Monica: How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?
你到底要拒绝多少好女孩…只是因为非常肤浅的事情？
Joey: Hold it, hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one.
慢着慢着，我这次必须帮钱德说话。
Joey: When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. Drove me nuts.
我刚搬到这里时，与一个女孩交往非常性感，很会接吻…但是她的喉结非常大粒！真是让我受不了。
Chandler: You or me?
你说还是我说？
Ross: I got it. Uh, Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.
我明白了。呃，乔伊，女人没有喉结。
Joey: You guys are messing with me, right?
你们是在骗我玩，对不对？
All: Yeah.
对，我们在骗你！
Joey: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
这招不错。我差点要上当了。
Phoebe: So, you name one woman that you broke up with for a actual real reason.
你与哪个女友分手，是因为正当的理由？
Chandler: Maureen Rosilla.
莫琳罗西洛。
Ross:"'Cause she doesn't hate Yanni," is not a real reason.
因为她不讨厌音乐家雅尼，这不是个正当的理由。
Monica: Hello, Mr. Heckles.
嗨，哈克先生。
Mr. Heckles: You're doing it again.
你们又来了。
Monica: We're not doing anything.
我们什么都没做。
Mr. Heckles: You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds.
你们脚步声太响，吓到了我的鸟儿。
Rachel: You don't have birds.
你没有养鸟。
Mr. Heckles: I could have birds.
我本可以养鸟的。
Monica: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
我们会小声一点。
Mr. Heckles: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
谢谢，我要回去继续我的晚宴了。
Rachel: All right, bye-bye.
好，再见。
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
对了，珍妮丝珍妮丝可以证明，我并没有乱挑剔。
Ross: We'll give you Janice.
我们同意你与珍妮丝分手。
Phoebe: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
但我蛮想珍妮丝的嗨，钱德宾！
Rachel: "Oh, my, God."
喔，我的天！
Joey: "Oh, Chandler, now, yeah, that's it. There, faster!"
喔，钱德！现在就要！对了对了！快一点！
Monica: Stop with the broom, we're not making noise.
别用扫把了！我们没有制造噪音！
Rachel: We won. We won!
我们赢了！我们胜利了！
Monica: Mr. Heckles.
哈克先生！
Rachel: How did this happen?
怎么发生的？
Mr. Treeger: He musta been sweeping. They found a broom in his hand.
他大概在扫地，他们发现他抓着一把扫把。
All: Oh, dear God.
天哪。
Monica: That's terrible.
真糟糕。
Mr. Treeger: I know. I was sweeping yesterday. It could've been me.
我知道昨天我也在扫地，本可能是我中枪的。
All: Sure. Sure.
是啊。
Ross: Sweeping. You never know.
扫地，真是没想到。
Mr. Treeger: You never know.
世事难料。
Phoebe: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
很微弱，但我还可以感觉他在大楼里。进入光芒中，哈克先生！
Chandler: Ok, Phoebe.
好了，菲比。
Phoebe: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know there're a lot of things outa there that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
对不起，有时候他们需要帮助。又来了很好，嘲笑我吧。我不相信很多事情…但这不表示就不是真的。
Joey: Such as?
譬如什么事？
Phoebe: Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution?
像是麦田怪圈或百慕大三角或进化论？
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
你不相信进化论？
Phoebe: Nah. Not really.
不怎么相信。
Ross: You don't believe in evolution?
你不相信进化论？
Phoebe: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
我不知道，只是…猴子，达尔文，很好的故事，我只是觉得有点太简单。
Ross: Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, is-is too easy?
太简单？太…这个星球上的一切生物，经过数千万年…从单细胞微生物进化而成，而你说太简单？
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
对，我不买账。
Ross: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
对不起。进化论不是信不信由你，菲比进化论是科学事实，就像我们呼吸的空气…就像地心引力。
Phoebe: Ok, don't get me started on gravity.
别跟我提起地心引力。
Ross: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
你不相信地心引力？
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
倒不是相不相信的问题。最近我感觉到…我不是被吸住，而是被压着被压着…
Chandler: Uh-oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed. Quick Pheebs, hop on the ceiling.
那一定是伊萨克·牛顿生气了。快点菲比，跳到天花板上去。
Mr. Treeger: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
她在这，那里还有另一个。这是伯弟杜尔，哈克的律师他想跟你们谈谈。
Monica: What can we do for you?
有何贵干？
Mr. Boyle: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "The noisy girls in the apartment above mine."
好了，孩子们。事情是这样的，根据我客户的遗嘱…他要把他所有财产…都留给楼上吵闹的女孩们。
Monica: Well, what about his family?
他的家人呢？
Mr. Boyle: He didn't have any.
他没有家人。
Rachel: Ok, so let's talk money.
好，让我们看看有多少钱。
Mr. Boyle: All right, there was none. Now, let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two.
好，没有半毛钱。现在，我们来签字，你是一号吵闹女孩，你是二号吵闹女孩。
Monica: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?
我真不相信，我们一直以为他讨厌我们。真是不可思议，我们能如此感动其他人…而自己却不知道？
Monica: Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!
看看这个猪窝？！他痛恨我们！这是他最终的报复！
Rachel: Have you ever seen so much crap?
我从来没看过这么多废物！
Chandler: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.
我觉得这间公寓，侮辱了废物的美名。
Joey: Check this out. Can I have this?
看看这个，这个能给我吗？
Ross: How can you not believe in evolution?
你怎么能不相信进化论？
Phoebe: I don't know, just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
我不知道，就是不相信。看看这条俗气的衬衫！
Ross: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life.
菲比，我整个成年都在研究进化论。
Ross: Ok, and I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can-can literally see them evolving through time.
我们从世界各地搜集化石，能够证明不同物种的进化论。我是说，你可以真正看到它们…透过时间进化。
Phoebe: Really? You can actually see it?
真的？可以看得到？
Ross: You bet. In the U.S. , China, Africa, all over.
千真万确！在美国，中国，非洲，全世界！
Phoebe: See, I didn't know that.
这我不知道。
Ross: Well, there you go.
这就是吧。
Phoebe: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?
问题是，谁把化石放在那里？为什么？
Chandler: Hey, look at this. "My Big Book of Grievances."
看看这个！我的痛苦之书。
Joey: Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.
嘿，这是我！四月十七日，噪音过度…意大利佬带了女伴回家。也提到你了。
Chandler: April 18th, excessive noise. Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry-cleaning.
四月十八日，噪音过度…意大利佬的同性恋室友，带了干洗衣服回家。
Chandler: Well that's excellent.
真是太好了。
Rachel: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
看看这盏灯真是够俗了，我们一定要带回去！
Monica: Rach, I think we have enough regular lamps.
我们有足够的正常台灯了。
Rachel: What? Come on, it's not like, it's not like I'm asking for this girlie clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
什么？好啦，我又不是…要这个美女时钟或什么的，但我觉得这个也很酷。
Monica: It doesn't go with any of my stuff.
听着，它与我的东西都不搭配。
Rachel: Well, what about my stuff?
那么我的东西呢？
Monica: You don't have any stuff.
你没有任何东西。
Rachel: This will be the start of my stuff.
这个将成为我的东西。
Monica: Mmmm....no!
不。
Rachel: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
你还是认为那是你的公寓，对不对？
Monica: No.
不。
Rachel: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just someone who rents a room.
对，你是这么想。你把它想成是你的公寓，我只是租了个房间。
Monica: Mmmmm.
嗯...
Rachel: Ok, while you "mmm" on that for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
你支支吾吾的时候，我会为我的新台灯找个地方放。
Ross: Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
菲比。看我玩这些小玩具可对立的拇指！没有进化论，怎么发展出可对立的拇指？
Phoebe: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
也许外星主宰需要这样的拇指才能够驾驶空间飞船。
Ross: Please tell me you're joking.
请说你是在开玩笑。
Phoebe: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.
能不能说你相信进化论，而我不相信？
Ross: No, no, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because it's like math. One plus one equals two. I can't stand by and let you think that one plus one might equal three or four or yellow!
不行，菲比。就像数学，1加1等于2。我不能让你认为等于3，或者等于4，或者等于黄颜色！
Phoebe: Why not? No, what's that all about? What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you?
为什么不行？这有什么关系？为什么非得强迫每个人都同意你？
Phoebe: You know what, I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
你知道吗？我想你，也许应该把罗斯放到显微镜下面好好看看。
Ross: Is there blood coming out of my ears?
我耳朵有没有流血？
Joey: Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook.
看看这个，哈克的高中同学录。
Chandler: Wow, he looks so normal.
他看起来好正常！
Phoebe: He's even kinda cute.
甚至有点可爱。
