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Joey: Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow. And I'll have my health insurance back in no time.
明天艾斯黛帮我排了一堆试镜。我很快就能重新加入保险。
Chandler: That's great, but shouldn't you be on the toilet right now? What's wrong with you?
太好了，但你现在应该去蹲马桶吧？什么？你是怎么了？
Joey: Nothing! Well, I I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before then I uh passed out and uh, haven't been able to stand up since.
没什么，我刚才举哑铃时，肚子突然一阵剧痛，然后就昏倒了，而且一直站不起来。
Joey: But um, I don't think it's anything serious you know.
不过应该没什么。
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have to you you go to the doctor!
这应该是疝气，你得去看医生。
Joey: No way! Ok look, if I'm gonna go to the doctor for anything, it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach!
我才不要，就算要去看医生，也是因为肚子这里突出来。
Chandler: That's a hernia.
那就是疝气。
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? Damn you 15s!
我为什么要恢复健身？该死的哑铃！
Monica: What the hell are you doing? !
你在搞什么？！
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was gonna be boring!
我很紧张，你们害我担心我会很无聊！
Ross: I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
我上了台，学生都盯着我看。结果我一开口就是英国腔了。
Rachel: Yeah, and not a very good one.
而且还很不正宗。
Ross: Will you will you please?
别再说了？
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, I'm a professor in the paleontology department here. Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?
盖勒博士，我是寇特拉斯曼，古生物学系教授。可以聊聊你的课吗？
Ross: I'm sorry, I've got plans with my sister.
抱歉，我和我妹妹有事要办。
Monica: Monica Gellerrr.
莫妮卡盖勒。
Ross: Right, will you excuse us for one moment?
是的，失陪一下。
Ross: What're you doing?
你干什么？
Monica: Oh, you could have an accent but I can't? !
你能装我就不能装？
Monica: How about the morning to ya laddies!
女士们早啊！
Ross: Just, please stop!
别闹了！
Rachel: Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time time of year.
是的，这个季节的孟买非常漂亮。（印度腔）
Chandler: Hey, will you grab me a cruller? Sit down! Will you go to the hospital? !
帮我点个小煎饼。坐下啦！我拜托你去看医生。
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot, probably. Ok? Besides, it's it's getting darker and more painful, that means it's healing.
大哥，疝气手术……应该很贵。而且它越来越黑，越来越痛，就表示有在好。
Chandler: Look, I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and let's just get that thing...pushed back in.
我借你钱，赶快去医院把它……塞回去。
Joey: Thank you, but it'd take me forever to pay you back. I don't want that hanging over my head. Ok, Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, I'm thinking I'll probably start with that laser eye surgery.
谢谢，但我要很久才能还你，我不想惦记这件事。而且只要保险恢复，我就可以动各种免费手术。我打算先去做激光眼科手术。
Phoebe: What's going on?
怎么了？
Chandler: Oh Joey's got a really bad hernia, but it's nothing that a little laser eye surgery won't fix!
乔伊的疝气很严重，不过动个激光眼科手术就好了。
Joey: Look, I'm I'm telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here it doesn't hurt that bad.
真的，把手压在这里就还好。
Phoebe: Hey! Maybe you'll die!
搞不好你会死！
Joey: Chandler, I'm scared.
钱德，我怕了。
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just don't wait too long though, ok? 'Cause I'm outta here sometime before Friday.
我们可以一起走！但不要拖太久，我星期五之前就会挂掉。
Joey: Yeah, but I don't wanna die!
但是我不想死！
Phoebe: No no, it'll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
不，会很好玩，我们可以回来吓他们！
Joey: Woo, wait. Could I come back and haunt Monica and Rachel when they're in the shower?
等等，我可以趁莫妮卡和瑞秋洗澡时回来吗？
Chandler: That's my girlfriend.
那是我的女朋友。
Joey: Hey, I'm dead!
嘿，我都已经死了！
Monica: Gimme 'em!
给我！
Rachel: No! They are mine!
不要！这是我的！
Monica: You stole them from me!
是你偷我的！
Rachel: You stole them from me! !
你才偷我的！
Monica: Gimme them! You just wanna each take one?
拿来！要不要一人一个？
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
很公平，反正也从来没用过。
Ross: Look, I really need some help, ok? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent? ! Wh what do we do?
听着，你们真的得帮我。为什么我要说英国腔？我该怎么办？
Monica: Well why don't you call Mummy and Daddy?
去问妈咪和爹地呀。
Ross: I'm serious! Someone's gonna find out I'm a fake and then they're never gonna offer me a job!
我说真的，我迟早会被揭穿，教书的事就泡汤了！
Monica: Why don't you phase it out? Yeah, phase the accent out, people will think that you're, you know, that adjusting to life in America.
慢慢把口音改掉，别人会以为你在适应美国生活。
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on, Ross, no one will even notice. I mean they're probably not even listening to you!
是啊，根本不会有人注意，搞不好根本没人在听你讲什么！
Ross: They're not listening to me?
没人在听我讲话？
Rachel: Of course they're listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
当然有，每个人都在听你讲话。
Ross: Monica, you really think I should try this phasing out thing?
你真的觉得我要慢慢改吗？
Monica: I think you look fine.
我觉得你很好啊。
Casting Director #1: Whenever you're ready.
好了就开始。
Joey: Ok. ‘Hey, Timmy, I've got a surprise for you.’
好。提米，我要给你一个惊喜。
Casting Director #1: Hold it. I'm sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less...intense?
停，抱歉，这个惊喜是一组新秋千，别演得这么凝重。
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, I'll just hold on one second. Hey, Timmy. I've got a surprise for you!
好，没问题，等我一下。提米，我要给你一个惊喜。
Casting Director #1: Oh my God!
天哪！
Joey: So that's why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today!
所以我都喂我的狗吃普瑞纳一号（雀巢旗下的宠物食品品牌） 今天就去买一包吧！
Casting Director #2: That's where you pick up the bag.
这时候你要把它搬起来。
Joey: Exactly.
没错。
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so, you need to pick up the bag.
不是，台词是搬一包，所以你得把它搬起来。
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. I didn't get it, did I?
或者，我可以指着它什么什么，普瑞纳一号，今天就去指一包吧。我没通过，对吧？
Casting Director #2: No.
没有。
Joey: Yeah, ok.
好。
Joey: Hi. I'm Joey Tribbiani, I'm here to audition for a man…
你好，我是乔伊崔比亚尼，我来试镜，演个男人……
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
垂死的人吗？
Joey: Yes!
没错！
Monica: Ok, come on, do it one more time!
快，再打一次！
Rachel: Really? Really? !
真的要打？
Monica: Yes!
好。
Rachel:"Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University. We'd like you to come on board with us full time!
罗斯你好，我是假口音大学的麦尼利博士。我们想聘你当专任教授。
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, I'm not going to die.
听我说！预言错了，我不会死了。
Rachel: Really? ! How do you know? Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead!
真的？你怎么知道？因为我的通灵者死了。
Phoebe: She must've read the cards wrong!
她一定是看错牌了！
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry.
我很遗憾。
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me!
总比我死好！
Rachel: Hey, let's bake cookies!
我们来烤饼干！
Chandler: Listen, I'm really glad you got the part.
恭喜你拿到这个角色。
Joey: Thank you.
谢谢。
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
你真的能演吗？
Joey: Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. All right? And thanks again for helping me take a shower.
能！谢谢你陪我来，还有谢谢你帮我洗澡。
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again? !
这算是我们说好的绝口不提吗？！
The Director: Hey Joey, we're ready for you! Eh, Joey, this is Alex, he's gonna be playing your son.
乔伊，都准备好了！这是阿历克斯，他演你的儿子。
Joey: Hi Alex! And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants.
你好！我的手可没塞在裤子里。
The Director: Ok. All right uh, Alex, now when Joey says his line, ‘Take good care of your Momma son.’ That's your cue to cry. Got it? All right, let's do this.
好。阿历克斯，当乔伊说到 “好好照顾你妈妈”。你就要哭，懂吗？好，来吧。
A Crew Member: Scene 5, take 1.
第五场，第一次。
The Director: And Action!
开始！
Joey: ‘Take good care of your Momma son.’ ‘Take good care of your Momma son.’ ‘Come on, son! Your Momma's good people!’
儿子，好好照顾你妈妈。儿子，好好照顾你妈妈。拜托啦，你妈是个好人。
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember you're supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
停，阿历克斯，这里应该要哭，你这次可以哭吗？
Alex: Ok.
好。
The Director: All right, from the top.
好吧，好，重来。
A Crew Member: Scene 5, take 2. Take 36 is up!
第五场，第二次。第三十六次要来了！
The Director: All right! Let's try this again! You ready Joe?
再来一次，乔伊，你好了吗？
Joey: Ah, one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
请问一下，你喊开始前，我可以大叫吗？
The Director: Uh, sure.
可以。
The Director: Action!
开始！
Joey: "Take good care of your Momma."
儿子，好好照顾你妈妈。
The Director: Cut!
停！
Chandler: Sorry, hey, hey Joe, why don't you uh, lift up your shirt? Take a look at this kiddo. We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
打扰一下……乔伊，你把衣服掀开来，小鬼你看。他哭了，摄影机快拍！
Russell: Hello, is Ross there? Rachel: Uh no, he's not. Can I take a message?
罗斯在吗？他不在，你要留言吗？
Russell: Yes, this is Russell, Ross's divorce lawyer. Just tell him that since I haven't heard from him, I assume he's decided to give the marriage a try.
好，我是罗斯的离婚律师。我一直没有他的答复，我想他应该是想试着经营这段婚姻。
Rachel: Ross got married again? Nooooooo!
罗斯又结婚了？不！
Ross: All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So, without retesting the results in the laboratory. The team would never have identified
好的，继续，慢慢改掉口音。要不是进实验室重新化验结果。研究小组也不会发现。
Ross: The initial errors in their carbon dating analysis. Were there any questions at this point? Yes.
原先的碳14定年结果有误。到这里有问题吗？请说。
A Student: What's happening to your accent?
你的口音怎么没了？
Ross: Come again? What's what's this nonsense?
再说一次，你说什么？
Ross: All right, I'm I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. I'm sorry.
好吧，我不是英国人，我是长岛人。我一紧张就冒出那个腔调了，很抱歉。
Ross: So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? About paleontology?
回到课堂上来。有任何问题吗？关于古生物学的问题？
Ross: All right, look, I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up.
我只是想留下良好的第一印象，但我显然搞砸了。
Ross: But what you guys think of me is really important because I'm I'm hoping to get a permanent job here.
但你们对我的看法很重要，因为我想成为专任教授。
Ross: So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression...
如果你们肯再给我一次机会给你们留下好印象的话……
Rachel: Ross! Are you crazy? ! I am still your wife! What, were you just never gonna tell me? ! What the hell is wrong with you? ! Ugh, I could just kill you!
罗斯！你疯了吗？我还是你的老婆？你想瞒我一辈子吗？你是哪里有病？我真想宰了你。
Ross: Well hello Rachel!
瑞秋你好！
Phoebe: So you've really done this before?
你真的玩过？
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
真的。
Joey: You just take a big, big swing. Ok? Now, don't hold back.
你就用力打下去，不要手软。
Phoebe: Ok.
好。
Chandler: What're you doing?
你们在干嘛？
Phoebe: We're just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
庆祝乔伊的保险恢复。
Chandler: Oh, all right.
好。
Joey: See, now let's try one without the helmet.
看吧？这次来试试不带安全帽的吧。
