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Han, that toast is trendy foodie food. It'll die here, like my soul did.
阿憨，那个吐司是潮流美食。在这里只会死去，就像我的灵魂。
Our customers are just plain, normal people.
我们的顾客都只是平凡的普通人罢了。
Hey, everybody! And sophie. Guess what? 78 guys want me on Tinder. Oh, 79! Now it's 80!
大家好！以及苏菲。你们猜怎么着？陌陌上有78个男的想约我。79个了！现在80个了！
How long have you been on Tinder?
你玩陌陌多久了啊？
Ten minutes!
十分钟！
Oh, look, oh, my gosh! This guy's a plumber. Are you kidding me?
看呀，我的老天爷！这男的是猛男水管工，不是骗我吧？
Yes, that's a match! And this guy isn't even wearing a shirt! That's another big yes!
当然好，约！而这家伙还裸上身呢！确定一定以及肯定约！
Oh, gosh, girls, I'll be over here, looking at boys in my booth.
天啊，姑娘们，我会在这里，在我的卡座里挑男宠。
Hey, I know a girl who met her husband on tinder.
我就认识一个女的在陌陌上认识她老公的。
No, wait, she saw her husband on tinder.
等等，不，她是在陌陌上抓到她老公。
Hey, are wheelchairs sexy?
坐轮椅的有轮椅诱惑吗？
I guess it depends on who's in one.
看看是谁坐在上面吧。
I say no.
不约。
Hold the presses.
各位观众稍安勿躁。
I just got a new tweet from my gal, Kim Kardashian.
我的好姐妹发了条新推特啦，金·卡戴珊。
Oh, she just bought her some new boots in Manhattan.
她在曼哈顿买了双新靴子。
Kim Kardashian is epic. She was on the cover of Vogue. She's on fire.
金·卡戴珊超屌。她还上了《时尚》杂志的封面，超火。
So? I've been on fire. That's the last time I try witchcraft for the free snacks.
那又怎样？我也超火过啊。我上次用巫术来弄免费零食时，被人当女巫烧。
I love the Kardashians. They're like the Kennedys but with bigger asses.
我好爱卡戴珊家族的人。她们就像是有大屁股的肯尼迪家族。
Text me next time. This whole talking thing is insane.
下次用短信联系我。讲话这事太傻逼了。
Hi! Who would I talk to about finding the owner of Max's Homemade Cupcakes?
你们好！如果我想找麦克斯自制小蛋糕店的老板，请问我该找哪位呢？
That's Max. I'm Caroline. We're the owners of this store.
她是麦克斯，我叫卡洛琳。我们共同拥有这家店。
And about four pairs of socks.
我们还拥有大概四双袜子。
Great. Wonderful. Such a cute shop. Would you be interested in having a popular...
太好了，真棒，这家店超有爱。你们有兴趣参加一档出名的...
Yes.
好。
I didn't finish my sentence.
我都还没说完呢。
Sorry, I just haven't heard the word "popular" in so long.
抱歉，我太久没听到"出名"这个词了。
Oh, yeah, she's over. She's the Blockbuster video of people.
是啊，她过气了。她就像过气倒光的百事达一样。
Would you be interested in having a popular reality show filmed here?
那你们有兴趣让一档出名的真人秀在这里拍摄吗？
