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That's it for tonight. Time to count the tip jar. Hand condom.
收工时间到啦。可以来数小费罐了。请为我套上手部避孕套。
I can't believe you. Using protection is so five years ago.
我真服了你。现在这个年代不流行戴套啦。
This is Williamsburg. There's a good chance even the dollars have herpes.
这里是威廉斯堡。钞票都很可能染有疱疹。
Well, if those singles have herpes, they should just lie about it till they get married like everybody else does.
如果这些小婊钞票有疱疹，她们就该跟那些单身婊一样，撒谎装没病直到骗到婚为止啊。
Oh, good, you're still open.
太好了，你们还没关门。
Oh, yes, we are. What can I get you?
是的，请问您想要什么？
Everything in the register.
收银台里的东西全交出来。
Oh, my God. It's a hipster hold-up.
妈呀，嬉皮士来抢劫了。
Hand it over. I have a gun.
快照我说的做，我有枪。
Well, I have a death wish so that's not gonna work.
我还想死呢，所以你想都别想。
Look, pal, we work at this cupcake window 2:00 to 4:00, six nights a week, and that is after eight hours of slinging hash at the diner next door for lousy minimum wage, which a bunch of rich politicians out in- - help me out. - Washington.
听好了，我们每晚二到四点在这卖小蛋糕，一周卖六天，而且是在拿着基本工资的隔壁破餐厅做完八小时的服务员后才来卖的，就因为一帮在...-帮我接。-首都华盛顿。
What she said don't wanna raise.
有钱的死政客不愿提高基本工资。
Then, we walk home to our illegal one bedroom apartment, get three hours of Nyquil induced sleep before we have to get back up and share a bowl of Spanish language cheerios.
下班后我们走回我们非法的一卧室公寓中，靠喝了犯困的感冒糖浆睡三小时，然后就得起床，两人再一起分享一碗西班牙名的杂牌早餐"卖圈"。
It's the same thing but the "C" wears a sombrero.
跟美国"麦圈"差不多，就字样戴了墨西哥帽。
So, no, I am not about to give you our hard-earned money.
所以不行，我才不会给你我们的血汗钱。
And if you're gonna shoot me, better aim good.
如果你要开枪打我，最好瞄准点。
'cause if you miss, I will climb over this counter, tear off your head, and it'll be our new tip jar.
因为如果你没打死我，我会爬过这个收银台，扒开你个死人头，用你的脑袋当新的小费罐。
Yeah, I just robbed Pizza Pizza. Here's a $20. Have a good night.
我刚抢完披萨店。这20块你拿去。祝你们今晚愉快。
I have a way with people.
我有特殊的打交道技巧。
Look, I just saw that our cupcake competition, "Brooklyn Bitty Bites," went out of business.
我刚发现我们小蛋糕店的竞争对手--"布鲁克林咬一口"关门大吉了呢。
Yup, it's being changed into a medical marijuana store.
没错，现在改成医用大麻店了。
I already have my hole-punch card.
我已经整了一张积点卡。
