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So, Sheldon, how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?
那个 Sheldon啊 被女孩子打是什么感觉啊?
It's not the first time.
这不是第一次了
I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.
我的双胞胎姐姐在子宫里就开始袭击我了
If only I'd had the presence of mind to reabsorb her, then I'd have a mole with hair in it instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.
要是当初我就用意念把她吸收了 那我脸上长颗毛痣就行了 而不必每年都收到一封无聊的圣诞贺信了
Gentlemen, have you come to the realization that the only reasonable course of action is to sell the ring and divide the money?
各位 你们有没有意识到解决问题最合理的方法就是把戒指卖了再把钱分了?
No.
没有
I was afraid of that.
我就怕会这样
Go ahead.
开始吧
Greetings from Mumbai.
我在孟买 大家好
I am Raj's attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.
我是Raj的律师 我叫Venkatesh Koothrappali。
Also my cousin.
他也是我表哥
You brought a lawyer?
你找了个律师?
Don't answer that.
不要回答他的问题。
I'll get straight to the point.
我就直奔主题吧
My client's prepared to surrender any interest he has in the ring in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.
我的当事人表示 只要给买他两辆川崎水上摩托的话 就愿意放弃对该枚戒指一切权力
We're not giving him two Jet Skis.
我们不会给他两辆川崎水上摩托的
Look, we're big boys, why don't we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle?
听着 大家都是成年人了 就直截了当各退一步吧?
One Kawasaki Jet Ski.
买一辆就好
Done and done.
就算结了
No Jet Skis.
不会买的
All right, forget the Jet Skis.
好吧 那就算了
Forget the Jet Skis?
就这样算了?
That was our line in the sand!
跟事先说好的不一样啊!
What happened to "tear them a new one?"
不是说要让他们"屁滚尿流"的吗?
What can I say?
我还能说什么?
They played hardball.
他们来硬的
We lost.
我们只能输了
You're useless.
你这个废物
I told you that when you hired me.
你雇我的时候我就告诉过你了
I'm signing off now.
我要下线了
Call your mother. She worries.
记得给你妈妈打电话 她很担心你
Okay, just so you know,
好吧 提醒一下
if we're bringing in cousins who are lawyers,
如果有人要找表哥做律师
prepare for shock and awe.
小心点 很可怕很吓人的
You know what? I am ending this.
知道吗? 让我来做个了断
Penny didn't want to hold the ring anymore.
Penny不想再保管这个戒指了
She gave it to me. I have it.
她把戒指给我了 在我这
I'm sending it back.
我要把戒指送回去
Where's the ring?
跑哪去了?
You mean this ring?
你是说这个戒指吗?
Next time be aware of your surroundings while urinating in a public men's room.
下次你在公厕解手的时候 注意一下你的周围
Give me that.
把戒指给我
No, it's mine.
不 这是我的
It's all of ours.
是我们大家的
Okay, now, this is ridiculous! Then let go!
好吧 这太荒唐了! 那就放手啊!
I'm not letting go. You let go.
我才不松手 你松手
I say this ring belongs to the last person who can hold on.
我提议 谁最后拿到这个戒指就归谁
Fine. But can't we go home and start this?
好啊 可是我们能不能回家再开始?
Sure.
好啊
Let go of the ring.
那你先放开戒指
All right, it starts now.
好吧 现在开始
You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon tonight on the SyFy Channel.
你们都知道今晚科幻频道有 巨虫专题电影大放送吧
Wait, my laptop.
等等 我的电脑
