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[Scene: Central Park, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
-Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！
-Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！
-Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
打住，Joey，嘴下留德。他驼背？既驼背又带假发？
-Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
慢着，他吃粉笔吗？
(They all stare, bemused.)
-Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
我只是不想她重蹈我和Carl的覆辙。
-Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
各位别急，这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃晚餐，而且没做爱。
-Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
听起来好像是说我的约会。
[Time Lapse]
-Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然发现自己全身赤裸。
-All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
我做过那样的梦。
-Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
我低头一看，看见有一支电话……在那儿。
-Joey: Instead of...?
而不是……？
-Chandler: That's right.
没错。
-Joey: Never had that dream.
我没做过那样的梦
-Phoebe: No.
没有。
-Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
all of a sudden: 突然
那支电话突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。
-Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
他们以前不看你吗？！
-Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
终于，我认为我应该接，结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
-Ross: (mortified) Hi.
嗨。
-Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。
-Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
你还好吧？
-Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙，抓起我的肠子，从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖子上……
-Chandler: Cookie?
饼干？
-Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Carol今天把她的东西搬走了。
-Joey: Ohh.
哦
-Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
我帮你泡杯咖啡
-Ross: Thanks.
谢谢
-Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
哦…
-Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
不要……别清理我的灵气。可是……别碰我的灵气就是了。
-Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
好吧，保持晦气！
-Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
我会没事的，真的，我祝她幸福。
-Monica: No you don't.
不，你不会的。
-Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
我不会的，去她的，她甩掉我！
-Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。
-Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
没有！！行了吧？！为何大家都围着这个话题打转？连她不知道，我怎会知道。
-Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
有时真希望自己也是个女同志。我刚刚大声说出来了吗？
-Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
昨晚我告诉我父母，他们好像还挺好。
-Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M.,
hysterical: 歇斯底里的 sobbing: 呜咽，抽噎
真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话，一个女人歇斯底里地向我哭诉，
"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
grandchildren: 孙儿女们
“我不能抱孙子了，我不能抱孙子了。”那是什么？打错了？
-Ross: Sorry.
对不起
-Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
别闷闷不乐了，Ross。你现在很痛苦。你一肚子火,心如刀割。我能告诉你解决之道吗？
(Ross gestures his consent.)
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
脱衣舞酒店。你单身，有性需求。
-Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
我不想单身的。我只想再结婚。
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
-Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
我只想要一百万！
-Monica: Rachel?!
Rachel?
-Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God!
天啊，Monica，谢天谢地！
I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
我到过你的住处，你不在。有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿，结果你真的在这儿。
-Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
想来杯咖啡吗？
-Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
无咖啡因的,各位，她叫Rachel，另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。
(to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
这位叫Chandler，Phoebe，Joey。还记得我哥Ross吗？
-Rachel: Hi, sure!
当然，嗨。
-Ross: Hi.
嗨
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
-Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for wet bridesmaids?
你想现在告诉我们，还是等伴娘来再说？
-Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding.
婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。
I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,
我在堆放礼物的房间里，
and I was looking at this gravy boat.
看着船形卤肉盘，
This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat.
非常漂亮的船形卤肉盘，
When all of a sudden
突然间….
(to the waitress that brought her coffee)
-Rachel: Sweet 'n' Low?
低糖吗？
I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!
我了解船形卤肉盘此Barry更能引起我的“性趣”
And then I got really freaked out,
我自己都吓了一跳，
and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.
Barry愈看愈像猪头先生。
You know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar,
我一直都认为他很眼熟。
but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there,
anyway: 不管怎样
总之,我必须离开。
and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'.
wonder: 想
我开始想，我为何这么做？我为谁这样做？
(to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go,
于是我不知该走往何处，
and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,
kinda=kind of: 有点 drift: 漂移 apart: 分开的
我知道你我日渐疏远。
but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
但是你是我在这个城市，认识的唯一一个人。
-Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
好像我也是唯一没被邀参加婚礼的人。
-Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
这件事就甭提啦。
