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Mike: Dad, Dad, look, I was doing my homework, alright? So, look, you don't have to worry,
this...this part is not gonna interfere with my homework at all.
Jason: Forget school!
Mike: Huh?
Jason: Could you get me Morgan Chase's autograph?
Director: Stand-in!! You ready?
Mike: Ready.
Director: Roll 'em! Slate it! In one-twelve, take one! Marker! And...action! Wait for the cue...
Gunshot!! Gunshot!! Switch!! And...action!
Actor: Bukowski's been hit!
Morgan Chase: Bukowski, I'm sorry! That bullet was meant for me! Why'd you do it?
Mike: Sarah, it doesn't matter what happens to me, but you have a family who loves you.
Morgan Chase: Hang on! There's an ambulance on the way.
Mike: Sarah.
Morgan Chase: Yeah.
Mike: I'm not gonna make Sergeant, am I?
Morgan Chase: You're just a kid. I see this every day, and I never get used to it.
Director: And cut!!! Was it good for you. OK, we got it. Let's move into closure. Nice job, kid!
Mike: Thank you, Richard. Hey, I owe you, Paul. Gracias, PJ. Dude! He said, nice job!! You
wanna congratulate me? He took the time to personally, call me, kid. Aha!
Morgan Chase: Excuse me, Mike.
Mike: Wow, she knows me, by name.
Maggie: Ben, I made your cookies. Took me all day, but that's the joy of being the selfless
mother, I am.
Ben: Mom, I forgot to tell you; I dropped out of the bake sale.
Maggie: What?
Ben: Well, see, when I told Laura-Lynn that Mike was gonna be on TV, she got all excited, so
who needs cookies?
Jason: Want me to hold him, while you smack him around?
Maggie: I want you to sit down, right here young man, and eat these cookies...all three
hundred of them.
Ben: Alright!!
Mike: They liked me...they really liked me!!
Jason: Hey!
Mike: Yeah! Yeah Dad, and the Director himself said, nice job!
Jason: Well that's great, Mike.
Maggie: That's great, honey!
Mike: Yeah, yeah, here's my contract, look! It says, Michael Seaver, here and after the artist. I
am now legally an artist.
Ben: I'll get it.
Jason: Alright, our son's first contract. We're gonna get this framed, Mike!
Ben: Mike, it's Tony from the acting class.
Mike: Oh, oh, right. We gotta study tonight...errm... Tell him I'll call him back later.
Ben: He'll call you back later.
Jason: And I'm glad to hear, you're keeping up with your school work too.
Mike: Oh yeah, and Dad here's your autographed picture of Morgan Chase.
Jason: Oh!! Where'd you get the idea, I'd want one of those?
Mike: From you, Dad.
Jason: Carol, your brother knocked 'em dead today on New York Heat.
Carol: It's just a stupid TV show.
Mike: That hurts, Carol. You know, that really, really hurts.
Maggie: Carol!
Carol: Mom, he was just acting again. He's a good actor.
Jason: Well go tell him that.
Maggie: She had to have this re-touched, nobody is this gorgeous.
Jason: Oh...somebody is.
Maggie: Too little, too late.
Mike:(on the phone) I am not crazy, Tony. I have a reason for not studying for this test
tomorrow. Look, with my acting career taking off, I don't need to study, I'm dropping out of
school. Yeah, Tony, I'm serious. Look, I don't want you telling any one yet, alright? So just put
a sock in your big... Carol! Look, Tony, I'll talk to you later, OK? Of course, I'm not dropping
out of school, Tony, I was just kidding! Yeah, alright. Later. (puts the phone down) Oh, man,
this acting stuff is almost too easy.
Carol: You weren't acting! You're really gonna quit school over one crummy acting job on one
stupid TV show!
Maggie: You're calling a TV show on ABC, stupid!
Carol: Yes, if it means you're gonna quit! Mike, think, or get as close to it as you can. I mean,
what if this job was a fluke? I mean, what if you never work again? What if, this is the
beginning of the end? A painful, lonely, bitter end, with your family as your only solace!
Mike: What if I flush you down my toilet?
Carol: I'd see your future there!
Maggie: Oh, oh, you know Carol, I should have known that Ben was crazy when he told me
that you were bragging to all you friends about me!!
Carol: What?
Mike: You have never, ever, in your entire life, believed in me. So how could you possibly
understand this now? What I want you to do, is just keep your mouth shut until I tell Mom and
Dad the news, after they see me on TV! OK, can you do that, huh, huh?
Carol: Yes.
Mike: Good.
Carol: Mike, whether you know it or not, I love you, I support you, I'm on your side.
Mike: Well, I don't know what to say.
Carol: See, anybody can act! Bozo!
Ben: Five minutes to New York Heat.
Maggie: That's right, Mom, he plays Bukowski, the heroic rookie who takes a bullet and dies in
the line of duty. Oh, and you'll call Mark and Stacey for me? Great, thanks.
Jason: Is there anyone on Long Island who doesn't know that Mike's on TV tonight?
Maggie: Yes.
Mike: In less than five minutes, I will be seen by Producers and agents all across the country
and they will be beating a path to my door. Wo ho, they're early!
Ben: No Mike, this is my lovely date. Stinky, what are you doing here?
Stinky: Hey Mike, thanks for having me at your debut.
Mike: Oh sure, hey it's real...
Ben: It's about time!
Laura-Lynn: What?
Ben: For the show to start. But you're as punctual as always, dear.
Laura-Lynn: That's better.
Ben: I'm sure you remember my brother.
Laura-Lynn: It's always enchanting to meet someone who's tasted celebrity. Stinky...fetch.
May I have your autograph?
Mike: Oh, wow, sure!
