Topic（题目）:

Technology has made great impact on our life. Some people start to concern that technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. What's your opinion?

Target text（文章正文）:

Technology has made great impact on our life. Some people start to concern that technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. However, when taking more factors into consideration, I can hardly agree with it.

To begin with, some technology intent to arise children's creativity and imagination. For example, fictional movies have greatly motivated children's imagination. Movies like The King Kong, invented a scene which could not be real but full of fantasy. By using the new technology, the movie is able to show children an amazing world, which give children more space to imagine. Furthermore, some companies invent games which could help with motivating children's creativity. Thus, children could download those games easily from the app store, having fun as well as training their creative minds. That is so say, since technology have put research about increasing children's creativity. The more advanced technology will be, the more likely children become creative.

Also, technology has opened a new world to human, which plays a critical part in arising children's imagination and creativity. Back to the old times, we could never imagine that human could walk on the moon one day or we could talk to someone who lives in another side of the world by cellphone. Technology has changed those used to call "impossibility" into reality. In other words, it also indicates that we could have a wilderimagination about our future. As for the children, they are motivated to imagine anything impossible. Because they have enough reasons to believe that one day they could make it come true. Under such circumstance, children are supposed to be more creative since they have more possibilities to make it real with the support of technology.

Admittedly, using too much cellphone or watching too much TV could damage children's creativity. Also, their brain are exposed to the radiation, which could damage their thinking abilities. But I believe that it's just a process of the development of technology. In fact, scientists have made great progress in reducing the radiation around our living situation. There is no exaggeration to say that we could not live without technology today, but we should concern about is how could we improve our living condition by making more progress in technology. There is no denying that children are more likely to live in healthier world with the protection of technology. Therefore, they have more chance to create whatever they want.

In conclusion, people who worries about that children will become less creative due to technology is sorely mistaken. On the contrary, children will become more creative as more progress made in technology. In fact, that's the way it goes.

TPO小站综合点评及批改意见：

文中出现一些语法错误，单词拼写错误以及单词与单词之前没有空格，建议在写作中，一定要注意规避这类细节错误。开篇的观点表达明确，但是接下来的论证段之间没有明显的层次感，认证内容都比较相近，未能从不同的角度进行论证。因此，要注意加强以上两点，以提升写作分数。

预估分数：21

学习建议：

1、尝试用反面观点来进行论证。

2、写文章前先制定写作大纲。

3、写作是需要注意使用的论证方式，写好之后要回看修改。

4、注意论据和论点之间的关系要紧密。

5、论证方式要多样化。

6、注意论据要多用细节。看是否有更多的论据来支撑观点。