第三篇：内向者的力量

Today we make room for a remarkably narrow range of personality styles.We're told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable.We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts——which means that we've lost sight of who we really are. One-third to one-half of Americans are introverts——in the other words, one out of every two or three people you know. If you'er not an introvert yourself, you are surely raising, managing, married to, or coupled with one.

If these statistics surprise you, that's probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts.Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds, in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corproate America.Some fool even themselves, until some life event——a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like——jolts them into taking stock of their true natures. You have only to raise this subject with your friends and acquaitances to find that the most unlikely people consider themselves introverts.

It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themsevles. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—— the omnipresentbelief tht the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypalextrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups.We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—— the kind who's comfortable "putting himself out there." Sure,we allow technologically gifted loners who launch companies in garages to have any personality they please, but they are the exceptions, not the rule, and our tolerance extends mainly to those wo get fabulously wealthy or hold the promise of doing so.

Introversion——along with its cousions sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness——is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.Introverts living under the Extrovert Idal are like women in a a man's world,discounted because of a trait that goes to the coreof who they are. Extorversion is an enormouslyappealing personality style, but we've turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.

The Extrovert Idal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name.Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarteer, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocityof speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones. Even the word introvet is stigmatized——one informal study,by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, found that introverts described their own physical appearance in vivid language, but when asked to describe generic introverts they drew a bland and distasteful picture.

But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Idal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions——from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer——came from quiet and cerebralpeople who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.