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It was four years ago that we found out about the cancer growing inside you. You called me and soberly told me the news - that it had already spread, that you didn't know how long you had left. I was still at university. I spent the first few months in shock. My precocious but naive self had always, up until then, assumed I'd always have the ability to control every problem that might come my way. But for the first time I felt powerless. I wished I could just reach into you and take the cancer out. But I knew there was nothing I could do.
四年前,我们发现了你体内的恶性肿瘤，你冷静地打电话给我告诉我这个消息,它已经开始蔓延,你不知道还能活多久。那时我还在上大学，我在痛苦中度过了前几个月，早熟但天真的我直到那时还总是假设我有能力控制即将发生的每个问题，但是我第一次感到无能为力，我希望我可以进入你的身体拿走癌细胞，但是我知道我什么也做不了。
We've been lucky. You responded well to treatment and you're still here, though we don't know for how much longer.
我们很幸运，虽然我们不知道你还能坚持多久，但是你还活着并且对治疗反应良好。
Though we've often talked about the cancer and what it means, in all our discussions over the past four years I've never been able to say what I really want to say. I've always wanted to say that I love you, and that I'm grateful for everything you've given me.
尽管我们经常谈论癌症意味着什么,但是在过去四年的所有讨论中我从来没有能够说出我真正想说的。我一直想说,我爱你,我很感激你给我的一切。
But I can't. The words won't come. It feels like there's this unwritten rule in our father-son relationship that prevents it. You're a man of a certain age, conservative and guarded with your emotions. You keep your feelings to yourself and expect others to do the same.
但我没有把这句话说出来，好像有一不成文的规则，这句话在我们的父子关系上总被阻止。你是一个保守、谨慎的中年人,你自己保持你的感情,希望别人也这样做。
But I know you care. I've seen your proud looks when I've told you about my achievements at work and school over the years. I've seen your concern when things haven't gone well. I remember all the offers of help.（be continued）
但我知道你在意，那些年当我告诉你关于我工作和学校的成就时，我已经看到过你骄傲的表情，当事情进展不是很顺利时，我看到过你的关心，我记得你给过我的所有帮助。
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