One evening in the late fall, Lucien Majors, 84, sat at his kitchen table, his wife Jan by his side, as he described a recent dream.
一个深秋的晚上,84岁的吕西安·梅杰斯(Lucien Majors)坐在厨房的桌子旁,他的妻子简(Jan)陪在他的身边,听他讲述最近做的一个梦。
Mr. Majors had end-stage bladder cancer and was in renal failure. As he spoke with a doctor from Hospice Buffalo , he was alert but faltering.
梅杰斯患有终末期膀胱癌,并发肾功能衰竭。在他与美国水牛城临终关怀中心(Hospice Buffalo)的医生交谈时,他显得思维敏捷,说话却含含糊糊。
In the dream, he said, he was in his car with his great pal, Carmen. His three sons, teenagers, were in the back seat, joking around.
他说,他梦见自己驾车出行,好朋友卡门(Carmen)和他同车,三个儿子还是十几岁的样子,在后座上又笑又闹。
“We’re driving down Clinton Street,” said Mr. Majors, his watery, pale blue eyes widening with delight at the thought of the road trip.
“我们沿着克林顿街往前开,”梅杰斯说,一回想起那次梦中的旅行,他那水汪汪的淡蓝色眼睛里就充满了喜悦。
“We were looking for the Grand Canyon.” And then they saw it. “We talked about how amazing, because there it was — all this time, the Grand Canyon was just at the end of Clinton Street!”
“我们在找大峡谷(Grand Canyon)。”接着他们就看到了它。“我们都说这太神奇了,因为它就在那儿——大峡谷居然就在克林顿街的尽头!”
Mr. Majors had not spoken with Carmen in more than 20 years. His sons are in their late 50s and early 60s.
事实上,梅杰斯有20多年没跟卡门说过话了。他的儿子们也都已经60岁上下。
“Why do you think your boys were in the car?” asked Dr. Christopher W. Kerr, a Hospice Buffalo palliative care physician who researches the therapeutic role of patients’ end-of-life dreams and visions.
水牛城临终关怀中心的姑息治疗医生克里斯托弗·W·克尔(Christopher W. Kerr)博士一直在研究患者临终的梦境和幻象有何治疗作用。他问梅杰斯:“你为什么会觉得你的儿子们也在车上?”
“My sons are the greatest accomplishment of my life,” Mr. Majors said.
梅杰斯回答说:“因为儿子是我一生最大的成就。”
He died three weeks later.
三周之后,梅杰斯离开了人世。
For thousands of years, the dreams and visions of the dying have captivated cultures, which imbued them with sacred import. Anthropologists, theologians and sociologists have studied these so-called deathbed phenomena. They appear in medieval writings and Renaissance paintings, in Shakespearean works and set pieces from 19th-century American and British novels, particularly by Dickens. One of the most famous moments in film is the mysterious deathbed murmur in “Citizen Kane”: “Rosebud!”
千百年来,各种文化都为临终前的梦境和幻象着迷,并赋予它们神圣的意义。人类学家、神学家和社会学家都在研究这些“临终现象”。它们在中世纪的著述、文艺复兴时期的绘画和莎士比亚的作品中都有出现,更成为了19世纪的美国和英国小说,尤其是狄更斯(Dickens)作品中的固定套路。在电影《公民凯恩》(Citizen Kane)中也有这样的一个著名桥段——主角临终前神秘地低语:“玫瑰花蕾!”
Even the law reveres a dying person’s final words, allowing them to be admitted as evidence in an unusual exception to hearsay rules.
甚至连法律也尊重垂死之人的遗言,容许它们作为传闻证据禁用规则(hearsay rules)外的特例被接纳为证据。
In the modern medical world, such experiences have been noted by psychologists, social workers and nurses. But doctors tend to give them a wide berth because “we don’t know what the hell they are,” said Dr. Timothy E. Quill, an expert on palliative care medicine at the University of Rochester Medical Center. Some researchers have surmised that patients and doctors avoid reporting these phenomena for fear of ridicule.
在现代医学界,心理学家、社会工作者和护士也都注意到了患者的此类体验。但医生们倾向于拒之于千里之外,因为“我们不知道这到底是怎么一回事”,罗切斯特大学医学中心(University of Rochester Medical Center)的姑息医疗专家蒂莫西·E·奎尔(Timothy E. Quill)博士说。有研究人员推测,由于害怕遭到嘲笑,患者和医生们都不愿意报告这些现象。
Now a team of clinicians and researchers led by Dr. Kerr at Hospice Buffalo, an internist who has a doctorate in neurobiology, are seeking to demystify these experiences and understand their role and importance in supporting “a good death” — for the patient and the bereaved.
现在,水牛城临终关怀中心的克尔博士(他也是一位拥有神经生物学博士学位的内科医师)领导着一个由临床医生和研究人员组成的团队,试图破解这些神秘的经验,了解它们在“善终”过程中对患者及其家属的支持作用和重要意义。
These events are distinct from “near-death experiences,” such as those recalled by people revived in intensive care units, said Pei C. Grant, the director of the research team. “These are people on a journey towards death, not people who just missed it.”
这类经验与重症监护病房患者回忆起来的“濒死体验”不是一码事,该研究团队的负责人佩·C·格朗(Pei C. Grant)说。“这些人是在一步步走向死亡,而不是刚刚死里逃生。”
Hospice Buffalo, in Cheektowaga, N.Y., cares for 5,000 patients a year, mostly with visits to private homes and nursing facilities. After doctors, nurses, social workers or chaplains ask patients, “How have you been sleeping?” they often follow up with, “Can you recall any dreams?”
水牛城临终关怀中心位于纽约州的奇克托瓦加(Cheektowaga),这里每年可看护大约5000名患者,大部分情况下,中心会派医护人员前往患者家庭和护理机构提供服务。医生、护士、社会工作者或牧师在问过患者“你睡得怎么样?”之后,往往会接着问:“你记不记得自己做过什么梦?”
I was laying in bed and people were walking very slowly by me. The right-hand side I didn’t know, but they were all very friendly and they touched my arm and my hand as they went by. But the other side were people that I knew — my mom and dad were there, my uncle. Everybody I knew that was dead was there. The only thing was, my husband wasn’t there, nor was my dog, and I knew that I would be seeing them. — Jeanne Faber, 75, months before her death from ovarian cancer.
我躺在床上,人们慢慢从我身边走过。右边的人我不认识,但他们都非常友善,在经过我旁边的时候还摸摸我的胳膊和手。左手边的人是我认识的:我的父母和叔叔,只是他们早已不在人世了。唯一的遗憾是,我丈夫和我家的狗不在那里,不过我知道以后会见到他们的。——75岁的珍妮·费伯(Jeanne Faber)在因卵巢癌去世前几个月做的梦。
For their primary study, published in The Journal of Palliative Medicine, the researchers conducted multiple interviews with 59 terminally ill patients admitted to acute care at Hospice Buffalo, a facility furnished in warm woods, with windows that frame views of fountains, gazebos and gardens. Nearly all the patients reported having had dreams or visions. They described the majority of their dreams as comforting. About one in every five was associated with distress, and the remainder felt neutral.
研究人员将其初步研究发表在《姑息医学杂志》(The Journal of Palliative Medicine)上。在这项研究中,他们对水牛城临终关怀中心收治的59名绝症患者进行了多次访谈;这里装备了暖色调的木料,窗外可以看到喷泉、凉亭和花园。几乎所有的患者都报告自己曾经做过梦或出现过幻象。他们称大部分梦境都让他们感到欣慰,约五分之一令他们痛苦,其余的则不好不坏。
The dreams and visions loosely sorted into categories: opportunities to engage with the deceased; loved ones “waiting;” unfinished business. Themes of love, given or withheld, coursed through the dreams, as did the need for resolution and even forgiveness. In their dreams, patients were reassured that they had been good parents, children and workers. They packed boxes, preparing for journeys, and, like Mr. Majors, often traveled with dear companions as guides. Although many patients said they rarely remembered their dreams, these they could not forget.
临终的梦境和幻象大致可以分为以下几大类:与逝者的重聚;亲人“在等待”;未竟的事业等等。爱这个主题——不论是给予与还是不给予——以及对决意乃至宽恕的渴求,贯穿梦境。患者往往在梦境中得到认可,被赞誉为出色的父母、子女和员工,并因此而感到宽慰。在梦中,他们打点行装,准备出行,而且,像梅杰斯一样,往往有亲密的伙伴同行向导。虽然很多患者表示他们基本上记不住自己做过的梦,但诸如此类的梦他们却不会忘怀。
A 76-year-old patient said he dreamed of his mother, who died when he was a child. He could smell her perfume and hear her soothing voice saying, “I love you.”
一位76岁的患者说自己梦见了早在自己童年时代就已经去世的母亲。他闻到了她身上的香水味,听到她那充满慰藉的声音说:“我爱你。”
An older woman cradled an invisible infant as she lay in bed. (Her husband told researchers it was the couple’s first child, who had been stillborn.)
一个年龄更大的老妇人躺在床上,姿势如同怀抱着肉眼不可见的婴儿(她的丈夫告诉研究人员,那个幻想中的婴儿应该是他们胎死腹中的第一个孩子)。
Nine days before she died, a 54-year-old woman dreamed of a childhood friend who had caused her great pain decades earlier. The friend, who had since died, appeared as an old man and said, “Sorry, you’re a good person,” and “If you need help, just call my name.”
一名54岁的妇女在去世前9天梦见了儿时的伙伴。数十年前,他的早逝给她带来了巨大的痛苦。这次在她的梦里,他以一个老人的模样出现,还对她说:“我很遗憾。你是个好人。”还说,“如果你需要帮助,只要呼唤我的名字就好。”
This is certainly research in its infancy. The investigators, counselors and palliative care doctors, are trying to identify and describe the phenomena. Dr. Quill said he believed the studies would help make these experiences more accessible to skeptical doctors.
当然,这项研究尚处于起步阶段。调查人员、咨询顾问和姑息治疗医生仍在试图识别并描述该现象。奎尔博士说,他相信,这些研究将会帮助持怀疑态度的医生更好地了解患者的此类经验。