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The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has, in what we laughingly call the past, had a great deal to say on the subject of parallel universes. Very little of this is, however, at all comprehensible to anyone below the level of Advanced God, and since it is now well-established that all known gods came into existence a good three millionths of a second after the Universe began rather than, as they usually claimed, the previous week, they already have a great deal of explaining to do as it is, and are therefore not available for comment on matters of deep physics at this time.
过去（没错，“过去”这词儿说起来的确有些可笑），《银河系漫游指南》对于平行宇宙发表过蛮多的看法。只不过其中几乎没有什么大家能够理解的内容，除非你已经至少达到了高阶神仙的等级，可是既然现在已经证据确凿，所有已知的神仙都是在宇宙整整百万分之三秒之后才出现的，而并非像他们通常宣传的，是在宇宙之前一个星期，因此他们自己也已经是满脑门子官司，眼下实在没工夫跑来对深度物理学发表什么评论。
One encouraging thing the Guide does have to say on the subject of parallel universes is that you don't stand the remotest chance of understanding it. You can therefore say 'What?' and 'Eh?' and even go cross-eyed and start to blither if you like without any fear of making a fool of yourself.
不过，《指南》对平行宇宙倒也说了些很鼓励人的话，其中之一就是，想理解它你门都没有，所以你大可以问人家“什么？”，还有“呃？”甚至一瞪眼满嘴胡说八道也没关系，无论怎么搞你都不需要担心自己会显得像个大傻瓜。
The first thing to realise about parallel universes, the Guide says, is that they are not parallel.
《指南》说，关于平行宇宙，你要意识到的第一件事就是，它们不是平行的。
It is also important to realise that they are not, strictly speaking, universes either, but it is easiest if you try and realise that a little later, after you've realised that everything you've realised up to that moment is not true.
严格来讲，它们其实也不是宇宙，意识到这一点同样重要，但如果你稍后再试着去意识这个会更容易些，也就是说应该等你意识到目前为止你所意识到的一切都大错特错的时候。
The reason they are not universes is that any given universe is not actually a thing as such, but is just a way of looking at what is technically known as the WSOGMM, or Whole Sort of General Mish Mash. The Whole Sort of General Mish Mash doesn't actually exist either, but is just the sum total of all the different ways there would be of looking at it if it did.
它们之所以不是宇宙，是因为任何一个宇宙其实都不是我们想的那么回事。宇宙，应该是对学名WSOGMM的那种东西的一种看法——WSOGMM也就是全体各色总杂烩。全体各色总杂烩其实也不存在，它只不过是如果它存在就会出现的各种看待它的方式的总和。
The reason they are not parallel is the same reason that the sea is not parallel. It doesn't mean anything. You can slice the Whole Sort of General Mish Mash any way you like and you will generally come up with something that someone will call home.
而它们之所以不是平行的则跟海之所以不平行是一个道理。这没有任何意义。随便你怎么切来割去，全体各色总杂烩最后都会变成一种可以被某人称之为家的东西。
Please feel free to blither now.
如果你现在觉得自己很想破口大骂一番那就请便吧。
