Dr Dyrenforth asked more than 20,000 people about their relationships, and also assessed their personalities. Members of couples with similar personalities were indeed happier than those whose partners were dissimilar. But the difference was not exactly huge. It was 0.5%. As Dr Finkel puts it, "I wouldn't have a problem with companies claiming that their matching algorithm could increase the chances of developing a lasting relationship by a tiny amount; I get concerned, though, when companies claim they can find your soul mate for you."

德莱佛斯博士对超过2万人进行了调查，问题涉及人们的伴侣关系以及性格评估。伴侣双方性格相近的确实比性格差异较大的更觉幸福一些。但从数量上看，这个差别真的不大，只有0.5%的差距。芬克博士说：“假如网站说其配对算式能够令人们配对成功的概率有小幅上升，我对此毫无意见。可是他们说网站能帮你找到真爱，我就觉得有问题了。”

Surely, however, the chances of finding that magic other are increased by the second thing internet dating brings: oodles of choice? But here, too, things are not as simple as they might seem.

或许网络能带来的第二点益处——大量选择——能增加人们找到另一伴的机会？不过同样的，事实也并不像人们想得那么简单。

Some dating-site algorithms do not take the high-handed "we know best" approach but, rather, let the punter decide what he or she is looking for and then offer as many matches to those criteria as are on the website's books.

有些网站并不采用武断的“我们最懂你”策略，相反，他们让用户自已去决定想要找的类型，网站就是尽可能多的按照用户标准提供候选人。

The crucial assumption here, of course, is that what people think they want is what they actually need. That, it is true, is an assumption behind all consumer decisions. But changing your mind about a book or a washing machine chosen over the internet is not as emotionally fraught as changing your mind about a potential sexual partner. And here, too, the data suggest people are not good at knowing what they want. One of Dr Finkel's own studies, for example, showed that when they are engaged in internet dating's cousin, speed dating, people's stated preferences at the beginning of the process do not well match the characters of the individuals they actually like.

当然，这里有一个关键假设是人们总是认为他们想要的就是他们需要的。这个假设实际上适用于所有的消费者决定。对于上网选购一本书或一台洗衣机你可以这么做，可是上网去选择一位潜在的性伴你这么做就太过感性了吧。而且，有数据显示人们其实并不如自己想像中的那样了解自己的需求。举个芬克博士自己的研究成果来说吧，此案例显示：当人们沉溺于网络相亲，快速约会时，人们在这些活动初始时的表现出来的性格特征与喜好与他本身的个性特征是非常不一样的。

Indeed, even the very volume of alternatives may be a problem. Studies on consumer choice, from boxes of chocolates to restaurant wine lists, have shown that less is more. Half a dozen bonbons, or a dozen bottles, are easier to pick between than 30 or 40. And an internet dating site may come up with not just a few dozen, but thousands of allegedly suitable matches.

没错，甚至这巨大的可供选择量都可能是个问题。消费者心理学告诉我们，少即是多，从在超市选择一盒巧克力到在饭馆挑瓶葡萄酒，这都是已被证实了的一个道理。从6盒棒棒糖中挑出一盒，或从一打酒中选出一瓶总是比从30、40个中选更容易些。可是婚恋网站给你提供了多少选择？可不是几十个，那是好几千所谓适合你的人选啊。

The supermarket of love

爱情超市

Not surprisingly, the difficulty of choosing from abundance seems to apply to choice of people, too. Dr Finkel could find no study which addressed the question directly, in the context of internet dating. But speed-dating once again provided an answer. Here, he found studies which showed that when faced with abundant choice, people pay less attention to characteristics that require thinking and conversation to evaluate (occupational status and level of education, for example) and more to matters physical. Choice, in other words, dulls the critical faculties.

将 “选择困难”放到人身上同样适用，这没什么好奇怪的。不过将这一点放在婚恋网站中来考察，芬克博士确实没有找到相关研究。不过，有关“快速约会”的研究又一次告诉了我们答案。芬克发现这些研究表明，当人们面对大量选择时，对于那些需要通过交谈和思考才能了解的特质，人们倾注的注意力会减少（比如职业状况、教育背景等），反之对那些外在特征则更为关注。换句话说，大量选择屏蔽了人们对重要关键特质的判断力。

The upshot of Dr Finkel's review is thus that love is as hard to find on the internet as elsewhere. That is not a reason not to use it. But you may be just as likely to luck out in the local café, or by acting on the impulse to stop and talk to that stranger on the street whose glance you caught, as you are by clicking away with a mouse and hoping that, one day, Cupid's arrow will strike.

芬克博士研究的结论要点可以总结为：在网上寻找真爱并不比其他地方容易。但这并非是一条拒绝用网络的理由。你在街角的咖啡馆可能幸运地邂逅心上人；你也可以在踯躅于街头时，忽然被陌生人一个眼神所打动便冲动地停下来和人家搭讪；所以当然，你也可以动一动鼠标，并且祈祷忽然有一天，自己幸运地被丘比特神箭击中。