欠扁欠揍第五式：

范文摘要：

I will not beat you, not scold you, but torture you with all my love.
不打你，不骂你，专用感情折磨你！

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
与我白头偕老，是最美好的事。

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。

Thank me for loving you no way anyone has ever tried.
从来没有一个人像我这样爱你，谢谢我！

My dearest, can I call you like this? If you agree, don't phone me; if not, please send me this message "I miss you so much."
亲爱的：我可以这样称呼你吗？如果你同意就不要给我打电话；如果不同意就给我发一个"我非常想你"的短信。

If you want a cute baby, and you are still worried about this, then I will advice that you marry me!
假如你想要一个可爱的baby，假如你还为这事犹豫，那我给你提很好的建议--嫁给我吧！

My family name is "I", first name is "love you", and surname is "miss you"; my cognomen is "understand you", appellation is "feel badly about you", epithet is "think of you" , book name is "dream of you", nickname is "chase you". You can call me I kiss you.
本人姓我！名爱你！字想你！大名叫懂你！芳名叫疼你！乳名叫念你！书名叫梦你！外号叫追你！你可以叫我吻你。

推荐指数：☆☆☆

绝杀秘笈：看似平凡，却具有让感情沦陷的杀伤力，而且越往后看越令人小鹿乱撞，果然功夫了得！

风险后果：除非真的有把握对方爱你，否则不要轻易尝试这种方式，不然可能会得到反效果。