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时尚双语:女生必备、男士须知的十日分手秘笈

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If you want to lose a guy in 10 days, like Kate Hudson did with Matthew McConaughey, you can. Of course, they really did end up together after their ten days was up. It was only done for a magazine article anyway, so if you want to do this for real, then follow these steps. Remember, the easiest way to break up with someone is just to tell them "I don't want to be with you anymore." This requires a lot less effort, and is guaranteed to work.

Steps

1. Never say "I love you", "please", or "thank you". Don't discuss your future and constantly talk about other hot guys. Talk about your ex-boyfriend if you had one. That will really piss him off and hit him in the heart

2. Try avoiding his phone calls, e-mails, and instant messages.

3. When you do talk to him, be extremely boring so that he won't want to call.

4. Say you are busy, act busy like you have a lot of things to do, lots of errands to run, working late or different extra hours, come home extra late, or or running late or whatever.

5. Try to pick every little detail and fight with him over it, insult him, tell him he is dirty and things he says hurts your feelings, if you got a geeky guy, he is a leach and hard to get rid of, he will take your insults as compliments and think you are turning him on. Geeky guys are the hardest to get rid of, the popular boys and the sporty ones are really easy to get rid of.

6. Pull excuses about work or a friend or running an extra errand than you forgot to do and that you have extra dishes and chores and more cooking to do, and if he asks to help you or clean for you or run your errands for you, he knows exactly what you are doing and he knows that you are trying to play him off.

7. Embarrass him in public. Make a burp or a fart joke about him or ask him tons of annoying personal questions.

8. Have more fun with your friends than you do with him, and make sure he knows it.

9. Avoid physical affection. If he thinks he's not going to get anywhere sexually with you, he may want to move on.

Tips

* Instead of avoiding and ignoring him, you could be very clingy, to the point where you're suffocating him. This could also make him dump you.

* Sleeping with his best friend is a good way to hit the nail on the head, but be public about it. Basically, make sure his friend is a keeper.

Warnings

* He'll dump you like you wanted and he might seek some sweet revenge.


你真的希望像《十日拍拖手册》里的Kate Hudson那样甩掉男友?电影里的Kate Hudson的确是做到了,所以这对你来说也并不困难。电影归电影,现实生活还是有些不同的,相信这篇文章会更适合你。

记住:分手最简单的方法是直接告诉他“与你在一起真的很没意思,我们还是分手吧”。省时省力高效。

【准则】

1.“请”,“谢谢”,“我爱你”之类的话就不要说了。你们之间的未来也无需与他讨论。当然,常与他谈论一下身边的大帅哥倒是个很不错的选择,你的前任男友也会是个好话题。这些会让他又恼又伤心。

2.不接他的电话,不回他的电邮,不理他的MSN消息。

3.即使偶尔与他通电话——话题能多么无聊,就多么无聊,尽情地发挥吧。估计下次他也懒的打了。

4.告诉他你很忙,也装着很忙——总有一大堆事情要做,老板总让你跑腿,总是加班,回家很晚……

5. 睁大眼睛去挑他的小毛病吧,每件鸡毛蒜皮的小事都能成为吵架的好理由。顺便侮辱他,抱怨他很脏,说话总是让你伤心。但是,如果他是那种超级无敌大贱男—— 根本无法区分侮辱与赞扬,甚至以为你这是在挑逗他。那你可就要小心了,通常这类人最难甩,相比之下,那些万人迷、漂亮朋友简直是不堪一击。

6.工作上的事情、好友的约会、有事忘记办、家务事、做饭等都可以成为你拒绝他约会的借口,如果他执意要帮忙——他会清楚意识到你其实是在玩他。

7.让他当众出丑。谈论他的那些囧事。问他一堆恼人的私人问题。

8.在回避他的同时,多参加些朋友们的活动。也别忘记让他知道这一事实。

9.拒绝他的一切性要求。若他意识到再也不可能与你缠绵,那离他走人的日子也就不远了。

【友情提示】

你做的这些行为也许会让你变得非常依赖他,这也可能促使他与你分手。
与他好哥们的一夜情可以正中他的要害,前提是此人能够保密,然后你自己把这事捅出去。

【警告】

分手是必然的。他可能还会实施一些“甜蜜的复仇”。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
revenge [ri'vendʒ]

想一想再看

n. 报仇,报复,复仇愿望,获得满足的机会
v

联想记忆
popular ['pɔpjulə]

想一想再看

adj. 流行的,大众的,通俗的,受欢迎的

联想记忆
affection [ə'fekʃən]

想一想再看

n. 慈爱,喜爱,感情,影响

联想记忆
insult ['insʌlt]

想一想再看

vt. 侮辱,凌辱,辱骂
n. 侮辱,辱骂

 
extremely [iks'tri:mli]

想一想再看

adv. 极其,非常

联想记忆
boring ['bɔ:riŋ]

想一想再看

adj. 令人厌烦的

 
embarrass [im'bærəs]

想一想再看

vt. 使为难,使窘迫,使尴尬
vi. 窘迫

联想记忆
annoying [ə'nɔiiŋ]

想一想再看

adj. 恼人的,讨厌的

 
avoid [ə'vɔid]

想一想再看

vt. 避免,逃避

联想记忆
constantly ['kɔnstəntli]

想一想再看

adv. 不断地,经常地

 


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