Did you know, deep down, I hate tea?
实际上 我不喜欢喝茶
My mother was a fan of instant coffee.
你外婆非常喜欢速溶咖啡
She was a vulgar woman who murdered her lover
她是个下贱的人 我15岁那年
when I was 15 and forced me to take the blame.
她杀了自己的丈夫 还让我来承担过错
When I released back to her custody...
后来她又获得我的监护权
she stood by as another one of her boyfriends...
她其中一个男朋友调戏我
molested me.
她却袖手旁观
After she threw me out,
被赶出家门后
I made myself drink Fortnum's Earl Grey
我开始喝福特纳姆的伯爵茶
as a way to forget about my past and seem more upper-crust.
为了忘记过去 跻身上流社会
What did Jimmy Brennan do to you?
吉米.布伦南跟你有什么关系
Well, as I told you, he lived down the hall.
之前告诉过你 他和我住在同一楼
I was a child pretending to be an adult,
以前我总想装成熟
desperate to re-create myself.
为了改头换面不顾一切
Jimmy was like a big brother, a few years older than I,
吉米比我年长些 就像大哥哥
and he always watched over me.
他很照顾我
So, when a fuse blew one day in my apartment,
有一天公寓停电了
I didn't think twice about following him down to the basement.
我想都没想就跟着他进了地下室
To help him fix it.
帮他修电路
He kisses me...
他亲了我...
and I say, "No, we're just friends,"
我告诉他我们只是朋友
and I try to pull away.
并试图摆脱他
And he has this look on his face like a monster.
他的表情就像野兽一般
He punches me,
还打了我
and I raise my arms to cover my face
为了遮掩羞愧和困惑
to mask my shame and my confusion.
我用手臂挡住了我的脸
Because I had worked so hard.
我如此地拼命
I did everything to change myself, and I...
用尽一切办法来摆脱过去...
I knew he could still see the victim.
我知道他还是能感到我的恐慌
And he pushes my face into the cold concrete,
于是他把我的脸按在地上
and he whispers, "Relax, honey."
小声对我说"别紧张 亲爱的"
Over and over and over.
一遍又一遍
A-all I could do...
而我能做的...
Was focus on the pilot light underneath the water heater...
只有盯着热水器下面的指示灯
and wait for him to be done.
等他结束这一切
The day you were delivered, they put you in my arms
你出生的那天 他们把你放在我怀里
and you heard my voice and you looked straight in my eyes.
你听到我的声音 直视着我的眼睛