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Husbands Said
丈夫们说
My wife and I were both happy for twenty something years... then we met.
我和我妻子都快活地生活了二十几年……直到我们相遇了。
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
好妻子总是会原谅丈夫的——在她们错了的时候。
I haven't spoken to my wife for months. I don't like to interrupt her.
我已经几个月没和妻子说话了，我不想打断她。
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
我娶了正确的人，我只是不知道她叫“总是正确”。
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
说已婚男人比单身汉长寿是不对的，他们只是好像活得长些而已。
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
已婚男人比单身汉长寿，可他们生不如。
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was nearly impossible.
失去妻子会很难过（丢掉妻子很难），就我来说，这几乎是不可能的。
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful.
男女平等是不可能的，除非她们能不穿衣服走在街上，而且还能觉得自己很漂亮。
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
结婚前，男人思慕他深爱的女人。结婚后，他赚钱供养她。
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than mine."
一个丈夫对妻子说：“不，我并不讨厌你的亲戚们，事实上，比起我的丈母娘，我更喜欢你的婆婆。”
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
没结婚的男人是不完整的，结婚后他就完了。
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.
结婚前我不知道什么是真正的幸福，等我知道了，一切都太晚了。
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
一个男人为妻子开车门时，你至少可以肯定一件事：车是新车或者妻子是新婚妻子。
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
婚姻就是你的妻子逐步发现自己想要什么样的男人的过程。
Any married man should forget his mistakes--there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
已婚男人都该忘掉自己的过错——没必要两个人都记着同样的事。
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
想要维持幸福婚姻的男人都该记得把嘴闭上和把钱包打开。
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
如果有人偷走了你的妻子，最好的报复方式就是让他把她留下。
To keep your marriage brimming with love in the marriage cup--
让你的婚姻充满爱，就要——
Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
你犯错了，马上承认；
Whenever you're right, shup up.
你没错时，闭上嘴巴。
My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.
我的想法是我妻子的，她说我很荣幸拥有它们。
When a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
男人在结婚前握住女人的手是爱情，在结婚后就是自卫了。
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking: the husband gives and the wife takes.
幸福的婚姻意味着给予和索取，男人给予而女人索取。
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
结婚不止是拥有了一个妻子，还包括随之而来的无穷无尽的烦恼。
It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
每个男人生来都是自由而平等的，这话没错，只是他们中的一引起人结婚了。
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
绅士从来不会当着女士的面骂自己的妻子。
