Until that moment, ever since his return. Colonel Aureli-ano Buendía had not given himself the opportunity to see him with his heart. He was startled to see how much he had aged, how his hands shook, and the rather punctilious conformity with which he awaited death, and then he felt a great disgust with himself, which he mingled with the beginnings of pity.
"You know better than I," he said, "that all courts--martial are farces and that you're really paying for the crimes of other people, because this time we're going to win the war at any price. Wouldn't you have done the same in my place?"
General , got up to clean his thick horn-rimmed glasses on his shirttail. "Probably," he said. "But what worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death." He laid his glasses on the bed and took off his watch and chain. "What worries me," he went on, "is that out of so much hatred for the military, out of fighting them so much and thinking about them so much, you've ended up as bad as they are. And no ideal in life is worth that much baseness." He took off his wedding ring and the medal of the Virgin of Help and put them alongside his glasses- and watch.
"At this rate," he concluded, "you'll not only be the most despotic and bloody dictator in our history, but you'll shoot my dear friend úrsula in an attempt to pacify your conscience."
Colonel Aureli-ano Buendía stood there impassively. General then gave him the glasses, medal, watch, and ring and he changed his tone.
"But I didn't send for you to scold you," he said. "I wanted to ask you the favor of sending these things to my wife."
Colonel Aureli-ano Buendía put them in his pockets.
"Is she still in Manaure?"
"She's still in Manaure," General Moncada confirmed, "in the same house behind the church where you sent the letter."
"I'll be glad to, José Raquel," Colonel Aureli-ano Buendía said.
When he went out into the blue air of the mist his face grew damp as on some other dawn in the past and only then did he realize that -he had ordered the sen-tence to be carried out in the courtyard and not at the cemetery wall. The firing squad, drawn up opposite the door, paid him the honors of a head of state.
"They can bring him out now," he ordered.
adj. 潮湿的,有湿气的,沮丧的
n. 潮湿