CHAPTER THREE

第三章

THE DROPOUT

出离 顿悟

Turn On, Tune In . . .

修行

Chrisann Brennan

克里斯安布伦南

Toward the end of his senior year at Homestead, in the spring of 1972, Jobs started going out with a girl named Chrisann Brennan, who was about his age but still a junior. With her light brown hair, green eyes, high cheekbones, and fragile aura, she was very attractive. She was also enduring the breakup of her parents’ marriage, which made her vulnerable. “We worked together on an animated movie, then started going out, and she became my first real girlfriend,” Jobs recalled. As Brennan later said, “Steve was kind of crazy. That’s why I was attracted to him.”

1972年春天,乔布斯高中即将毕业时，开始与一位叫做克里斯安·布伦南的女孩儿交往。这个嬉皮士风格的女孩超凡脱俗，品与乔布斯同龄，但比他低一年级。她有一头浅褐色的秀发，绿眼睛，高颧骨，有些柔弱，十分迷人。她承受着父母婚姻破裂带来的痛苦，变得十分脆弱。“我们一起制作一部动画片，然后开始交往，她成了我第一任正式女友。”乔布斯回忆说。布伦南后来说：“史蒂夫很疯狂，这也正是他吸引我的地方。”

Jobs’s craziness was of the cultivated sort. He had begun his lifelong experiments with compulsive diets, eating only fruits and vegetables, so he was as lean and tight as a whippet. He learned to stare at people without blinking, and he perfected long silences punctuated by staccato bursts of fast talking. This odd mix of intensity and aloofness, combined with his shoulder-length hair and scraggly beard, gave him the aura of a crazed shaman. He oscillated between charismatic and creepy. “He shuffled around and looked half-mad,” recalled Brennan. “He had a lot of angst. It was like a big darkness around him.”

乔布斯的疯狂是以一种有教养的方式体现的。他开始了伴随他一生的强制性饮食实践——仅仅食用水果和蔬菜——所以他又瘦又结实，就像惠比特犬一样。他学会了眼睛一眨不眨地盯着别人，他喜欢在长时间的沉默中断断续续地加入语速极快的讲话。这样一种激情和冷漠的奇怪组合，再加上他那一头及肩长发和稀疏的胡茬儿，让他看上去就像个疯癫的萨满巫师。他时而展现超凡魅力，时而让人毛骨悚然。“他不断变化形象，看起来有点儿半疯，”布伦南回忆说，“他经常焦虑不安，好像有无尽的黑暗包围着他。”

Jobs had begun to drop acid by then, and he turned Brennan on to it as well, in a wheat field just outside Sunnyvale. “It was great,” he recalled. “I had been listening to a lot of Bach. All of a sudden the wheat field was playing Bach. It was the most wonderful feeling of my life up to that point. I felt like the conductor of this symphony with Bach coming through the wheat.”

乔布斯当时已经开始服用迷幻药了，在森尼韦尔郊外的一处麦田里，他让布伦南也加入了其中。“感觉很好，”他回忆说，“那段时间我听了很多巴赫的音乐。就在一瞬间，整个麦田似乎都在演奏巴赫。那是我到那时为止人生中最美妙的感触。我觉得自己就是交响乐的指挥，巴赫也好像出现在了麦田里。”

That summer of 1972, after his graduation, he and Brennan moved to a cabin in the hills above Los Altos. “I’m going to go live in a cabin with Chrisann,” he announced to his parents one day. His father was furious. “No you’re not,” he said. “Over my dead body.” They had recently fought about marijuana, and once again the younger Jobs was willful. He just said good-bye and walked out.

1972年夏天，乔布斯毕业之后，他和布伦南搬到了洛斯阿尔托斯一座山上的小屋里。“我要去小屋里和克里斯安同居了。”有一天他如此向父母宣告。他父亲怒不可遏。“不准去，”他说，“除非我死了。”他们最近刚刚因为大麻的事情争吵过，但这一次小乔布斯还是非常顽固。他说了声再见就走出了家门。

Brennan spent a lot of her time that summer painting; she was talented, and she did a picture of a clown for Jobs that he kept on the wall. Jobs wrote poetry and played guitar. He could be brutally cold and rude to her at times, but he was also entrancing and able to impose his will. “He was an enlightened being who was cruel,” she recalled. “That’s a strange combination.”

那年夏天，布伦南用了很多时间画画。她非常有才华，画了一幅小丑的画送给乔布斯，他一直把它挂在墙上。乔布斯平时就写写诗，玩玩吉他。他有时候会对布伦南非常冷血和粗鲁，但有时候又十分迷人，可以轻易说服别人接受自己的意愿。“他很开明，又很残酷，”她回忆说，“真是奇怪的组合。”

Midway through the summer, Jobs was almost killed when his red Fiat caught fire. He was driving on Skyline Boulevard in the Santa Cruz Mountains with a high school friend, Tim Brown, who looked back, saw flames coming from the engine, and casually said to Jobs, “Pull over, your car is on fire.” Jobs did. His father, despite their arguments, drove out to the hills to tow the Fiat home.

暑假中间，有一次乔布斯的红色菲亚特着火了，他差点儿因此丧命。当时他正行驶在圣克鲁兹山区的天际线大道上，与他同行的是一个高中朋友，蒂姆·布朗（TimBrown）。蒂姆朝后看了一眼，发现引擎在往外冒火花，于是他平静地对乔布斯说：“靠边停车，你的车着火了。”乔布斯照做了。他父亲尽管与他发生了争执，还是驱车来到山区，把菲亚特拖回了家。

In order to find a way to make money for a new car, Jobs got Wozniak to drive him to De Anza College to look on the help-wanted bulletin board. They discovered that the Westgate Shopping Center in San Jose was seeking college students who could dress up in costumes and amuse the kids. So for $3 an hour, Jobs, Wozniak, and Brennan donned heavy full-body costumes and headgear to play Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter, and the White Rabbit. Wozniak, in his earnest and sweet way, found it fun. “I said, ‘I want to do it, it’s my chance, because I love children.’ I think Steve looked at it as a lousy job, but I looked at it as a fun adventure.” Jobs did indeed find it a pain. “It was hot, the costumes were heavy, and after a while I felt like I wanted to smack some of the kids.” Patience was never one of his virtues.

为了想办法赚钱买一辆新车，乔布斯让沃兹尼亚克开车带他去了迪安扎学院，到那里的公告板上寻找招工启事。他们发现，圣何塞的西门购物中心（WestgateShoppingCenter）正在招募大学生，要他们穿上戏服逗小孩子玩。为了3美元一小时的报酬，乔布斯和沃兹尼亚克以及布伦南穿上厚厚的全套戏服，戴上帽子，扮演梦游仙境的爱丽丝、疯帽子和白兔子。真诚又亲切的沃兹尼亚克，觉得这一切十分有趣。“我说：‘我想做这个，这是我的机会，因为我喜欢小孩子。’我从惠普请了假。我想史蒂夫觉得这是个烂工作，但我把它当做一次愉快的经历。”乔布斯确实做得很痛苦：“太热了，那些服装又很重，只要在里面待上一会儿我就会产生揍那些小孩儿的冲动。”“耐心”这个词，从来就与乔布斯沽不上边儿。