人总是在自我反省和他人的反馈中逐步提升自己。他人的反馈，包括对你的建议和评价，而这些建议和评价不总是在夸你或者认可你。大多数人只听认同自己的好话，别人说了他半点不好或是不对，便在心理上无法接受，要么立即屏蔽这些在他看来负面的建议，当耳旁风；要么就和提出反对建议的人据理力争。
在面对别人的负面评价时，出于本能，我们内心会不开心，因为这种负面评价贬低了我们的自尊。但如果换个角度来思考，他人若是能提出这些在你看来贬低自己自尊的建议，必然说明他们看待问题的角度和你不同。而我们要得到真正的提升，其实就是要从不同的角度全面审视自己，发展自我。
所谓“忠言逆耳”，当别人提出不讨好你的建议时，首先你要非常客观地面对这些“忠言逆耳”的建议，其次，别人提出的建议也不一定完全客观，你一定要站在自己的角度和立场针对性的选择一些适合你自身情况的建议；第三，即使别人说你不好，也不要放在心上，甚至怀疑自我，因为有时也很难保证别人说的这些话不是有目的的伤害你或是利用你。
包容地看待一切，但一定要清晰自己的方向。今天分享一篇英语美文，叫做Golden Advice,文章讲述了关于得到别人负面建议时的故事。

New Words：
shortcoming n. 缺点；短处
wonder vi.想知道；
be of help有帮助，有用

When I was about 12, I had an enemy, a girl who liked to point out my shortcomings. Week by week her list grew: I was very thin, I wasn't a good student, I talked too much, I was too proud, and so on. I tried to bear all this as long as I could. At last, I became very angry. I ran to Daddy with tears in my eyes.
大约12岁时,我有一个仇人,那是一个喜欢指出我缺点的女孩。一周周过去,她给我列的缺点来越多:我很瘦,我不是好学生,我太爱说话,我太骄傲。我尽量长时间地忍受这些。最后,我变得非常生气,就含泪跑去见爸爸。
He listened to me quietly. Then he asked, "Are the things she says true or not? Allen, didn't you ever wonder what you're really like? Well, you now have that girl's opinion. Go and make a list of everything she said and mark the points that are true. Pay no attention to the other things she said."
爸爸静静地听我说完。随后,他问道：“她说的这些是不是真的? 爱琳,难道你不想知道自己的真实模样吗?那么,你现在有了那个女孩的意见。去把她所说的一切都列下来,在对的上面打分。对她所说的其他事情不要在意。”
I did as he told me. To my great surprise, I discovered that about half the things were true. Some of them I couldn't change (like being very thin), but a good number I could-and suddenly I wanted to change. For the first time I got a fairly clear picture of myself.
我按照爸爸说得去做了。令我大为惊讶的是,我发现大约一半都是对的。其中有些我无法改变（比如很瘦）,但好多我可以改变，而且突然我想改变。我第一次对自己有了一个相当清晰的印象。
I brought the list back to Daddy. He refused to take it. "That's just for you," he said. "You know better than anyone else the truth about yourself. But you have to learn to listen, not just close your ears in anger and feel hurt. When something said about you is true, you'll find it will be of help to you. Our world is full of people who think they know your duty. Don't shut your ears. Listen to them all, but hear the truth and do what you know is the right thing to do."
我将这个清单送给爸爸。他没有去接。“那只是给你的,”他说,“你比任何别得人更清楚自己真实的一面。但你必须学会去听,不要生气地闭上耳朵, 感觉受了伤。当说到得有关你的事情是对的时,你会发现那会对你有帮助。我们的世界充满了那些自认为知道你的责任的人。不要闭上耳朵。要听他们所有的人的话,但要听到真话,做你知道是正确的事情。”
Daddy's advice has returned to me at many important moments. In my life, I’ve never had a better piece of advice.
爸爸的建议在很多重要时刻都回响在我的耳边。一生中,我从来没有听过比这更好的建议。

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