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I have a very hard time being criticized, corrected, or accused – even of the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily. I’ve wrestled this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for the Big Girl to say something like,"You forgot to remind me to bring my library book," to send me into a tirade. "What do you mean…it's not my responsibility…I didn’t know Wednesday was Library Day…" etc., etc.
对我哪怕是最微小的一个批评、纠正或指责，我都会很难接受——而且我会做出十分愤怒的反应。在职业中，我会将这种本能遏制住，但是在家里却难以做到。只需要大女儿说类似：“你忘记提醒我要带图书馆图书”就能让我言辞激烈。“你是什么意思..这不是我的事..我又不知道星期三是图书馆日...”诸如此类的话。
More and more, I see the connection between perfectionism, control, and anger. Zoikes, how I try to be more mild-mannered and easy-going! Here are some of the strategies that I try to use to accept criticism. If I manage to use them, they never fail me, but it can be hard to have the mindfulness needed to apply them.
我越来越发现完美主义、控制和愤怒之间的关系。啊，我是多么努力在要做到更温文尔雅、更随和！下面是我用来接受批评时的策略中的一些。如果我用上它们，就绝对不会让我失望，但是要有一个清醒头脑去用它们却是一件困难的事情。
1. Listen to what a critic is saying. Really listen, try to understand that point of view, don’t just nod while you formulate your retorts.
听一听批评者在说什么。真正倾听，试图了解观点，不要一边点头，一边准备自己的反驳。
2. Don't be defensive. This is the toughest step for me. With my writing, for example, I always have to take a deep breath before reading an edit letter or meeting with an editor, to remind myself, "I welcome criticism. This person is helping me. I’m eager to hear how to improve my book/article/post." Act the way you want to feel! That's my Third Commandment. Along the same lines…
不要用防御心理。对我来说这是最难的一步。例如，在我写作时，我总要在阅读编辑的信或和编辑见面前深吸一口气，来提醒自己：“我欢迎批评。这个人在帮助我。我渴望听一听如何改善我的书/文章/帖子的话”。 你希望获得怎样的感受就怎样去做！这是我的第三条戒律。同理...
