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One of the major principles of happiness – and this comes as a shock to no one – is that perception shapes reality. The way we view something determines our experience. I saw this during the Inauguration. A person could say, "It's fantastic to be here among so many people," or a person could say, "It's a pain to be stuck in these crowds and long lines." Same reality, different perception.
想要快乐须铭记一条原则，那就是“感知塑造现实”，谁也不会对这句话吃惊。我们看待事物的方式决定我们的体验。从就职仪式中我就发现了这一点。一个人可以说：“能和这么多人在这里真好!”另一个人也可以说：“陷入长长的队伍和人群中真痛苦。” 同样的现实，不一样的感受。
I realized the importance of characterization when I eavesdropped on a few conversations between my three-year-old and her grandmother.
我无意中听到了我3岁女儿和她祖母的对话后，我发现了描述方式有多重要。
My daughter:"Can I please have some ice cream?" (Yes, she did say 'please'.)
我的女儿说：“请问我能吃一些冰激凌吗？” (是的，她说了‘请’。)
My mother-in-law:"Okay, but you had a cookie earlier, so I'm just going to give you a little bit."
我的岳母说：“好的，但是你刚才吃了一块饼干，我只再给你一点。”
My daughter:"No, no, I want a big bowl! Not a little bit."
我的女儿：“不，不，我要一大碗!不是一点。”
My mother-in-law:"Tonight you're going to go to bed nice and early."
我的岳母：“今晚你要乖乖地早些睡觉。”
My daughter:"No, no, no! Not early, I want to stay up late!"
我的女儿：“不，不! 不要早，要晚！”
Had my mother-in-law said, "I'm giving you a big scoop" or "We're letting you stay up late," my daughter would have accepted that characterization instead of protesting. Same bowl of ice cream, same bedtime, different perception.
如果我的岳母说：“我给你一大勺”或“我让你晚些睡觉”，我的女儿也许就会接受这个“描述”而不会抗议了。同样大小的碗，同样的睡觉时间，不同的感知。
And this isn't just true of children. The other day, I was talking to an acquaintance, and the subject of happiness came up. She said, "Well, Gretchen, you dabble in the subject of happiness, don't you?"
这一情况不仅仅出现在儿童身上。前些天，我在和一位熟人谈话，聊到了快乐的话题。她说：“Gretchen，你在涉足快乐问题，是吗?”
