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雅虎工程师的奇特简历(双语)

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最近雅虎颇为动荡,之前的收购闹得沸沸扬扬,高管纷纷离职,于是猎头们也虎视眈眈。一位雅虎的工程师艾萨克·施吕特不堪忍受猎头骚扰,于是发出一封奇特的简历,开价40万美元没得商量。

Price

$400,000

(It's not negotiable.)

This is not a joke.

I truly love working at Yahoo!, and believe that my position here offers the best avenue to further my career. I was not laid off. I have no plans to leave. I am not worried about mergers or buy-outs. I know that some executive just quit, and clearly, I don't care even a little.

Yes, yes, you've recently gotten a million gillion dollars in venture capital, and you were founded by 2 brain surgeon rocket scientist Stanford PhD grads who invented a perpetual motion machine, blah blah blah.

I have actually heard it already, that line of yours. Probably very recently. So don't bother.

Please don't "reach out to me directly" unless you can actually afford me; it is demeaning and absurd to think that the sound of your voice would somehow change my opinion on this matter.

I have tried so very hard to put this in the strongest possible language, but some people just never get it.

If you have a new or exciting web application, and you'd like my feedback on it, feel free to contact me. If I feel like it, and have the time, I'll play with your beta and let you know what I think.

If you want more than my hobby time, I do product consultation on an ad hoc basis at $300 per hour.

价格:

40万美金

一口价

我真的喜欢在雅虎工作,并且相信现在的职位为未来发展提供了最好的契机。我没有被辞退,也不打算辞职。我也不担心什么公司合并或者出售。我知道有些高管刚刚离职,但我一点也不在乎。

是的,是的,你们公司刚刚获得了巨额风险投资,你们公司是由两名斯坦福脑科博士创立,他们还发明了永动机等等等等。

这些话我都听腻了,所以,别来烦我了。

如果你出不起这个价钱,请不要直接与我联系。想用你的声音来让我改变注意是很荒谬的,简直是对我的侮辱。

我已经想尽办法,用最强硬的语言来表达我的想法,但偏偏有人不明其理。

如果你有一个新开发的,或者令人激动的网络应用,想听听我的意见,请与我联系。如果我喜欢这个应用,而且时间充裕,我会试试你们的测试版,然后反馈给你们。

如果你们想占用我的更多时间,我会按照每小时300美元收取产品咨询费。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
perpetual [pə'petʃuəl]

想一想再看

adj. 永恒的,永久的,一再往复的

联想记忆
negotiable [ni'gəuʃiəbl]

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adj. 可磋商的,可转让的,可通行的

 
application [.æpli'keiʃən]

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n. 应用; 申请; 专心
n. 应用软件程序

 
consultation [.kɔnsəl'teiʃən]

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n. 请教,咨询,协议会

 
venture ['ventʃə]

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n. 冒险,风险,投机
v. 尝试,谨慎地做,

联想记忆
surgeon ['sə:dʒən]

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n. 外科医生

 
absurd [əb'sə:d]

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adj. 荒唐的
n. 荒唐

联想记忆
executive [ig'zekjutiv]

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adj. 行政的,决策的,经营的,[计算机]执行指令

 
bother ['bɔðə]

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v. 使恼怒,使不安,烦扰,费心
n. 烦扰,

联想记忆


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