Letters
Wang Peijing

Heart is an invisible thread that links us to our dear ones no matter where we are in the world.
This story took place over 20 years ago. At the time I was 17 years and had just graduated from high school. I joined a Tibet volunteers team and was working on a highway project in Xixigeli. One of my roommates was a middle-aged rustic folk called Big Mount Ma. Behind his back, though, everybody called him Big Monk Ma. Here in Xixigeli sandstorms rage on almost year round, and here in Xixigeli women and green are rarely seen. It wasn't that bad during the day while we were busy laying stones and filling in earth. It became hard on us, however, when we lay in bed at night listening to the wind buzzing outside the Mongolian tents and wolves howling heart-piercingly.
At that time communication technology was not as advanced. Even if it were, no telephone service could be established in such vast, wild desert.
Therefore, letters were the only way by which we could be linked with folks thousands of miles away. Although it would sometimes take more than two months for a letter to reach, that sheet of paper carried with it the feelings between father and son, mother and son, husband and wife, and between brothers.
Big Monk Ma was illiterate. Every time when he saw others' faces lit up with joy upon receiving letters, he would sit yards away and puff away on his pipe. About half a year later, Big Monk Ma had a rather thoughtful, worried look on his face for days. I wondered why. Moreover, he was especially kind to me. On the construction site he would always let me do light work and during mealtime he would generously give me a portion of his vegetables and meat.
Then, one evening, he told me what had been on his mind.
"Young man, could you do me a favor? I am illiterate, you know. I bought paper, pen, and envelope long time ago but don't know how. Could you write me a letter home? Just want to know how my kid is doing at school, how are things at home?"
"Certainly," I said. "Why didn't you ask me earlier? No big trouble at all. Okay, let me do it now, so that it'll catch the mail tomorrow. Homesick, wife-sick, right?" Now I knew why he had been so kind to me recently.
Once the letter was on its way, Big Monk Ma became his old self again, working tirelessly, a smile on his face occasionally.
A month passed. Another month passed. Still no letters came for Big Monk Ma. So I offered to write another letter for him.
Days passed. More days passed. And finally Big Monk Ma received a letter from home. That afternoon we were busy working when the administrative assistant came to the construction site to pass out the mail. Thrilled beyond himself, Big Monk Ma gazed at the letter long, caressed it with quivering fingers, and then folded it carefully and put it in his pocket. Someone called out: "Uncle Ma, what does your letter say? Can you read it aloud for us?" Big Monk Ma's face reddened, but he didn't take out the letter.
A short while later I went to the outhouse and Big Monk Ma followed. When we reached the outhouse, he said, "Young man, could you read it for me?" I took over the envelope. The address looked like the handwriting of his third-grade son. I tore it open and pulled out a sheet. He took over the envelope and felt inside to see if there was more. The letter itself was written by a different hand, like that of a first-grader. I read through the letter and said:
"Let's not read it."
A worried look appeared on his face. "What happened? What happened? What does the letter say? Read it for me. I beg you."
It was a rather short letter written with an unsteady hand:
Big Mount:
The kid is good. I want to sleep with you.
Kid's Mom
I finished but Big Monk Ma's eyes were still on my face. When I handed the letter back to him, he said: "That is it?"
"Yes," I said. "That's all. Your wife can write? The envelope and the letter were not written by the same hand."
"No, she can't. She never went to school."
I was young and foolish then, having not tasted the full range human feelings. So I leaked the content of Big Monk Ma's letter as if it were a joke. Many on the construction site would tease him endlessly: I want to sleep with you.
Not long after that I received a telegram that my grandpa was gravely ill. So I left Tibet. I haven't seen him once even since then.
Later I realized that Big Mount Ma's wife must have worked hard on that letter. It must have taken her a whole day, or perhaps several days, to learn one single word from her young son, and then copy the words, stroke by stroke, to complete that letter. That simple letter carried with it the deep feelings of a woman in the deep mountains for her man thousands of miles away.
Twenty years has passed since then. I hope it's not too late to say this to Big Mount Ma and his dear wife: I apologize for my youthful foolishness.