2015年1月31日雅思写作解析及语料库
2015年1月31日雅思写作回忆:
Some people argue that too much attention and too many resources have been given to the protection wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 有人认为在野生动物和鸟类方面投入的关注和资源过多,是否同意?
雅思题库中的相关提问:
1. Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. 有人认为动物园太残忍,应该关闭,有人认为动物园有助于保护稀有小动物, 讨论两种观点 (2010年3月18日)
2. Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 现在,很多动物物种濒临灭绝,有人说国家和个人应该保护他们,有人说我们应该解决更加重要的问题,讨论两种观点? (2011年7月9日)
3. Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 有认为小动物实验有助于人类,有人认为不应该用小动物做实验,讨论两种观点(2013年4月18日)
2015年1月31日雅思写作考情点评:
本题来自保护野生动物和小动物实验的雅思题库。保护野生动物鸟类属于政府政策类话题,和押题政府给教育医疗买单有交集。例如,反对政府某项投资的理由都可以是政府的财政紧张,政府还有更加紧迫的问题要优先解决等。雅思写作热点话题为教育类,科技类,社会类,广告类,犯罪类,环保类,政府类。而二级重点为文化类,交通类,抽象类,建筑类,动物类,工作类。雅思出题的规则是各类型和提问角度循环考察,本题考察保护野生动物,角度较冷,写作较难,题目来自题库之保护野生动物之改写,只是简单加入了鸟类。本文写作头脑风暴难于遣词造句,即如何拓展保护野生动物鸟类的有说服力的例证和有趣味性的论据。本文支持保护野生动物鸟类,采取让步反驳的写法:首段亮明观点,二三段支持观点,四段让步原题观点的合理性再加以反驳,尾段总结观点,这样的布局在雅思托福写作中推荐使用,是考官欣赏的谋篇布局。
点评:
作家立场:支持保护野生动物鸟类。
思路拓展:
保护稀有动物和鸟类的理由:
1. 一些濒临灭绝的动物的消失会引起一些问题,例如,猫头鹰的数量减少会导致田鼠数量的增加,而田鼠是破坏庄稼的。同样,一些人的猎杀稀有动物的行为会破坏生物的多元性,进而,破坏生态平衡。
2. 人类很多伟大的发明创造可以归功于对于动物特征及习性的观察。观察鸟儿飞行,人类发明了飞机,观察青蛙游泳,人类发明了脚蹼,如果没有某些野生动物的存在, 人类的发明创造也会相应地受限制。
不在动物鸟类保护方面投入的理由:
1. 有人认为,野生动物的肉是美味营养的,人类应该享用,但是,我想反驳的是我们没有借口以满足食欲而猎杀无辜的稀有动物。
2. 有人认为,政府的财政应该解决更加重要的民生问题,但是,我想反驳的是只要政府合理分配财政预算,保护动物和解决民生不是矛盾的。
原创范文赏析:
首段:背景介绍 + 争议焦点 + 作家立场
Alarmingly, some improper human activities such as hunting rare animals or trapping some beneficial birds have been exerting a subtle impact on natural balance. There has been a heated debate over whether we spend too much resources on protecting wild animals and rare birds. As I see it, the government and every individual should make joint efforts to maintain the diversity of animals and birds. Protecting those wild animals equals to protecting ourselves.
解析:exert a subtle impact on v施加微妙影响
拓展:protect = preserve v保护
解析:make joint efforts to v 共同努力做……
二段:第一次支持作家立场以及细节展开:
First,biodiversity is one of human beings’ greatest assets,even tough some species are thriving,many others are endangered. A hard truth is that the disappearance of wild animals,especially endangered species,might trigger some problems. For example,the decrease of owl will lead to the multiplication of voles that are big eaters of crops. Likewise,wild animal trade,as a profit-making business,was once very active and even beyond control. Consequently,a great many species such as Tibetan antelopes or manchurian tigers cannot escape the destiny of being killed. However, biological diversity is a key factor in maintaining ecological balance.
解析:is a key factor in 是关键的因素
解析:consequently adv 因此(引导不良结果)
解析:owl 猫头鹰;voles 田鼠
解析:Tibetan antelopes or manchurian tigers 藏羚羊和东北虎
三段:第二次支持作家立场以及细节展开:
Also, people’s innovative ideas can be greatly inspired by animals’ behaviors. By that I mean, some great contrivances could actually to owed to the observation of animal behaviors. From our life, it is easy to find out plenty of examples, human beings have created flippers to facilitate swimming through observing the attribute of frogs’ fins. Similarly, the invention of airplane helps people realize the dream of flying high in the sky, which could also be attributed to duplicating the birds, thereby, to protect various animals is to preserve our sources of creativity for our future generations.
解析:from our life, it is easy to find out plenty of example 生活中,可以找到很多例证
解析:by that I mean 我的意思是说
四段:让步原题观点合理性
Some people might argue that we need to resort to wild animals for delicious and nutritious foods. However, what I want to refute is that we have no reason to slaughter those innocent animals under the excuse of satisfying our stomach. Some people might also argue that we have more social problems that need to be given priority to,however,what I want to refute is that the protection of animals and resolving social problems are not mutually exclusive as long as the government properly allocate financial budget.
解析:need to be given priority to 应该被优先考虑
解析:are not mutually exclusive 不是互相排斥的
尾段:再次亮明观点
In a nutshell, my stand is that animals and human beings should and could live in harmony with each other. Wild animals impose profound and beneficial impacts on us. Therefore, it is advisable to do our utmost to preserve animals and birds.
解析:should and could live in harmony with each other 应该也能够和谐共存
解析:impose profound and beneficial impacts 施加深远的有益的影响
解析:do our utmost to do sth 尽我们最大努力做……
解析:it is advisable to do sth 做……是明智的
全文点评:本文个性开篇,主题明确,衔接顺畅,例证饱满,文风朴素,首尾呼应,符合雅思写作评分标准:任务指令,连贯衔接;词汇灵活,语法范畴。
本文启示:广泛阅读,勤奋思考,多加练笔,自由写作是提高写作的关键。工夫在诗外,积累在点滴。
Tips:雅思写作1月份四场比较难,三场为新题出现。开年的雅思考试就是这样的:通常出现很多新题,新角度,但是,雅思写作还是会慢慢回归到教育类,科技类,政府类,环保类,社会类这样的热点话题。热点是绕不开的,也不可能每次都出新题。烤鸭还是要复习热题,勤奋练笔,从阅读中积累语料库,完美语言。2月份雅思写作预测请关注雅思频道。
adj. 有创见的,有灵感的