2014年7月19日雅思写作解析以及原创范文
7月19日雅思大作文回忆:健康类(遗漏话题)
Some people believe that the government have the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet,while others believe that it is individuals' responsibility to care for their diet and health?Discuss both sides and give your opinion?有人认为政府有责任保障公民有健康饮食,有人认为个人有责任关注个人饮食和健康,讨论两种观点,给出你的意见?
点评:托福也有讨论两种观点的提问
思路拓展:
1. 政府加强对于食品安全的监管力度
2. 政府加强教育,提高民众的健康饮食的意识
3. 个人提高健康饮食的意识:多吃水果蔬菜,避免过度的糖分,脂肪,热量的摄入
4. 个人养成规律的每日锻炼的习惯,增强自己的免疫力;愉悦心情;缓解压力
主题观点:政府和个人应该是协同努力,最重要的责任在于个人
原创范文:
首段:背景介绍 + 作家立场:
To lead a wholesome and active life might be the dream of every individual, unfortunately, busy pace of modern life sometimes deprives us of personal health. Happiness lies, first of all, in health. Health enables us to brave career challenges and harmonize family life. This essay aims to prove that a healthy diet derives from the efforts made by the government and everyone:
二段:谈及政府如何保障人们的健康饮食
TV commercials and various ads are the underlying reasons of unhealthy dietary habit. After watching different vivid food ads on fast-foods, fried foods and carbonated beverage, unwise consumers will unavoidably be swayed by those negative propagandas. Imaginably, too much eating of cheese, ice cream, salty snacks and meat is physically detrimental. By that I mean, obesity or over-nutrition are now agonizing many families. Hence, it is the unshakable obligation of the government to ensure its citizens’ health. To illustrate, American government had formulated policies restricting the bundle sales of fast foods aiming at children. New Zealand government had enacted legislations imposing a heavy tax upon alcohol buyers and cigarette purchasers.
点评:American government had formulated policies restricting the bundle sales of fast foods aiming at children. 美国政府立法禁止销售针儿童捆绑销售快餐
点评:New Zealand government had enacted legislations imposing a heavy tax upon alcohol buyers or cigarette purchasers . 新西兰政府对于烟酒消费者加大收税力度
三段:从饮食和锻炼角度谈及对于健康的利好:
Nonetheless, the increased awareness of healthier lifestyle has made plenteous modern people alter their adverse dietary habits and render more concerns over their personal health management. Principally, I myself usually eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables. As a great-believer of the saying, “you are what you eat”, I, in most cases, try to avoid too much intake of high fat, sugar and calorie so that my good health can be ensured. After all, it is a hard truth that fruits and vegetables are high in nutritional value because they contain various beneficial vitamins. Likewise, doing some regular physical exercise is a must in the interests of our health. People can easily strengthen their immune system and thus enhance their health index. More precisely, taking up various physical exercises help players relieve their strains and relax their moods. A reportage is persuasive enough to support my point. The scientific research conducted by top medical organizations has found that if a person can do corporal exercises one hour per day, then, it is likely that he could cope with career tasks at least fifty years and enjoy prolonged lifespan.
尾段:再次亮明观点:健康需要政府和个人的协同努力
People suffer from a variety of health-related problems at times, however careful they are of their health. To make sure that we remain as healthy as possible, joint efforts have to be made by the government and most importantly ourselves.
全文点评:文无定法,原创范文只是雅思写作之一种。本文摒弃模板,自由写作。主题明确,逻辑清晰,论证饱满,词汇亮点,句法多变。大量语料库来着阅读,应该是7.5分以上的高分范文。
原创语料库:
1. lead a disciplined life v过一种有规律的生活
2. maintain healthy = keep fit v保持健康
3. health-enhancing adj 改善健康的:
4. You are what you eat: 人类要吃得健康,以保重健康身体.
5. enhance people’s health index v提高健康指数
6. avoid the intake of carbonated beverage v 避免碳酸饮料的摄入
7. wholesome = healthy = sound adj 健康的
8. The country will benefit because energetic citizens will inject new life into the further development of nation. 国家会受益,因为精力充沛的公民会为国家发展注入新鲜活力(健康饮食对于国家的利好)
9. draw on v利用……(推荐使用)
10. ……have a balanced diet v饮食平衡
11. ……is high in nutritional value v营养价值高
12. strengthen one’ s immune system v 提高免疫力
13. be accountable for = be responsible for 对于……负责
14. The responsibility should be given to……责任归结给……(8分作文语料库)
15. Health is to every individual what air is to the earth. 健康对于人好像空气对于地球;
16. keeping fit could instill confidence into one’s heart v保持健康有助于树立自信(复习)
17. The increased awareness of healthier lifestyle has made plenteous modern people alter their adverse dietary habits and render more concerns over their personal health. 渐渐认识到健康的生活方式的重要性,很多现代人改变了他们不量的饮食习惯,更加注重个人健康。
18. Happiness lies, first of all, in heath 健康是幸福生活的本源
vt. 提高,加强,增加