The death of a loser

Thecharcoalwiped across Big Al's facecertifiedthat he was serious about fighting Terence here and now. There was no morecharityin Big Al's face and hischarmhad all but disappeared.Chaoswas all that was in his eyes and there was nocharterstating what would be allowed and not allowed in the fight: it would be 'anything goes.' This was one badcharacter; some long dead gladiator was probably beingchanneledinto him even now.
There was also no doubt in Terence’s mind that Big A1 was Lisa'schampion. Big A1cherishedher more than Terence did, and that was all that mattered to Lisa. She was one chic who only wanted to be loved by the biggest man. And she knew Terrance was nochallengefor Big Al.
Big A1charged. He hit Terence like acharteredbus and as Terence fell to the ground he saw the mentalchecklistof things he still had to do in life disappear. He feltcheated. But this was justcharacteristicof his life: whenever he thought things were going well, that was when they would end. He had even given Lisa a babychickthat morning to show her that he thought she was the coolest. She loved it andchatteredthat he was so sweet.
When Terence's deathcertificationarrived at Lisa's door the following week, she placed it at the bottom of the chicken cage that he had given her. Then she went and hugged the Doberman Pinscher from Big Al.

失败者之死

大个子艾尔抹了一脸的木炭证明他是真想在此时此地与特伦斯决一雌雄。他脸上已经 没有了宽容的表情，他的魅力此刻也几乎荡然无存。他的眼中只有混乱。没有任何宪章规定决斗中什么是允许的，什么是不允许的：这意味着可以“不择手段”。这是个坏人，某个早巳死掉的角斗士或许到现在还在给他传经送宝。
特伦斯也毫不怀疑大个子艾尔是丽莎的捍卫者，他比特伦斯更珍爱她，而对丽莎来说，这才是最重要的。她是那种只想被最强大的人爱慕的漂亮女人。她知道特伦斯根本不能挑战大个子艾尔。
大个子艾尔冲上前去，像租来的大巴一样，狠狠地撞向特伦斯。随着特伦斯摔倒在地，他发现脑海中他的人生未竟事业清单也随之烟消云散。他感到自己受了欺骗，可这在他的一生中太典型了：每当他认为事情在朝好的方向发展时，事情就会在这个时候结束。早上他还送给丽莎一只小鸡以表示他认为她是最酷的。她非常喜欢，还喋喋不休地说他是多么可爱。
第二周特伦斯的死亡证明书送到了丽莎家，她把它压在了他送给她的鸡笼下面，然后就去拥抱大个子艾尔送给她的德国种短毛猎犬了。

单词详解:

certification n.1.证明,作证2证书
certify v.证明,证实
challenge v./n.挑战,要求竞赛
champion n.1.冠军,出类拔萃的人(或物)2.一流的,出色的
channel n.海峡;水道,航道v.输送,传送
chaos n.混乱,霍乱
character n.性质,特征2人物,角色
characteristic a.特有的,典型的n.特征,特性,特点
charcoal n.木炭
charge v.1.要价,收费2.控告,指控3猛攻,冲向
n.1价钱,费用2.指控,控告
charity n.慈善,慈善事业,慈善团体;慈善基金;宽大,宽容
charm n.魅力,魔力
charter n.宪章;契约v.1.特许设立,发执照给...2.包,租3.准许
cheat n.骗取,诈取2欺骗,哄骗
checklist n.(核对用的)一栏表(尤指完整的清单)
chersih v.珍爱,爱护;抱有(希望等),怀有(情感等)
chic a.漂亮的,雅致的,时髦的
n.时髦,流行样式,时尚
chick n.1.小鸡;小鸟2.小孩