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He spent his days aimlessly—going shopping with his wife, and wandering from doctor to doctor to find help for his depression—all the while snorting cocaine. He took menial jobs. He frequently considered suicide.
他毫无目的地打发时间——和妻子一起购物、四处登门求医、让医生帮助治疗他的忧郁症——同时还一直在吸食可卡因。他从事着一些不体面的工作，经常想到自杀。
By the third year of Stan's addiction, the effects of cocaine were increasingly fleeting. The high would last for only seconds before he would crash back to the depths of his depression.
到了斯坦染上毒瘾的第三个年头，可卡因的作用时间变得越来越短。可卡因引起的快感只能持续几秒钟，随后他便重新跌进抑郁的深渊。
Finally, it reached the point where I just stood around crying, Stan says. Jane knew her husband's condition was desperate, and she persuaded him to enter an addiction center. Stan checked into a prominent institution, but he had one-half ounce of cocaine concealed in his clothes. "I was cooperative for a few days, until I had snorted up my cocaine," Stan says. Then he split—as he did other times when Jane convinced him to seek help.
“最后，我沦落到随地哭泣的地步。”斯坦说。简明白丈夫已经深处绝境，便劝说他前往戒毒中心。斯坦登记住进了一家有名的戒毒机构，但他在衣服里藏了半盎司可卡因。“开始几天我比较配合，直到我吸食完了带进来的可卡因。”斯坦说。然后他就溜了——以前简让他去寻求医生帮助时他也这样做过。
Once when Stan believed he had finally beaten his addiction, he was washing his car and saw a small vial of cocaine, a leftover from his past, roll from beneath the carpet. "Just the sight of it made me high," he recalls. "I put it in my pocket. I thought it would make me stronger to keep it and resist the temptation. But my mind never left that vial."
有一次，斯坦相信自己最终战胜了毒瘾，可是他在清洗汽车的时候，看见了过去吸剩下的一小瓶可卡因从地毯下滚了出来。看见它，我的快感就来了，”他回忆道，“我把它装进口袋。我觉得，保存它并抵御其诱惑会使我坚强起来。但是我的头脑里一直在想着那个小瓶。”
Like a serpent coiled in Stan's pocket, the little vial of cocaine lay quietly. A war raged in Stan's mind. Then the serpent struck with a ferocity known only to those who are powerless against their addiction.
那瓶可卡因像一条蜷伏在斯坦衣袋里的毒蛇一样安静地待在那里。斯坦的头脑中爆发了一场大战。接着毒蛇发起进攻，其凶恶程度只有那些无力抗拒毒瘾的人们才有体会。
