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The self has new value now that his competency has been proved.
既然个人能力已经得到了证明，自己也就有了新的价值。
His wife is struggling with her own age-30 priorities. She wants to go to law school, but he wants more children. If she is going to stay home, she wants him to make more time for the family instead of taking on even wider professional commitments. His view of the bind, of what he would most like from his wife, is this:
他的妻子也正面临着而立之年的各种矛盾。她想读法律学校，而他想要更多的孩子。如果她要待在家里，她希望丈夫也能腾出更多时间在家而不是忙于自己的工作。他对自己与家庭的联系、对妻子的期望是这样的：
I'd like not to be bothered. It sounds cruel, but I'd like not to have to worry about what she's going to do next week. Which is why I've told her several times that I think she should do something. Go back to school and get a degree in social work or geography or whatever. Hopefully that would fulfill her, and then I wouldn't have to worry about her line of problems. I want her to be decisive, about herself.
“我不想被别人打扰。这听起来很残忍，但是我真的不想操心她下周想干什么。所以我跟她说过好几次了，她应该找点事做。回学校修一修社会学，或者地理学，或者随便哪个学科，拿个学位。希望那样能让她感到满足，我就不用为她的事费心了。我希望她自己的事自己拿主意。”
The trouble with his advice to his wife is that it comes out of concern with his convenience, rather than with her development. She quickly picks up on this lack of goodwill: He is trying to dispose of her. At the same time, he refuses her the same latitude to be "selfish" in making an independent decision to broaden her own horizons. Both perceive a lack of mutuality. And that is what Catch-30 is all about for the couple.
问题在于，他给妻子的建议是为了方便自己，而不是关心妻子的个人发展。她很快就指出丈夫并不是出于好意：丈夫是在想方设法摆脱她这个累赘。与此同时，他也不希望妻子和他一样“自私”，擅做主张地去开阔视野。双方都发现彼此没有为对方着想，这正是而立之年的夫妇通常会面临的问题。
