And then she ended the telephone conversation with my father saying:
随后她便结束了同我父亲的交谈:
"Mr. Barrett, Oliver does want you to know that in his own special way ..."
“巴雷特先生,奥利佛的确希望你能知道,尽管他的方式很特别……”
She paused for breath. She had been sobbing, so it wasn't easy. I was much too astonished to do anything but await the end of my alleged"message."
她停下来喘了口气。她因为一直在抽泣,所以说话很吃力。我一时给弄得目瞪口呆,只能等着她把据说是我“委托转告的口信”讲完。
"Oliver loves you very much," she said, and hung up very quickly.
“其实奥利佛是非常爱你的,”说罢,她立即挂断了电话。
There is no rational explanation for my actions in the next split second. I must never be forgiven for what I did.
对于接下来一刹那我的所作所为,实在没法作出任何合乎情理的解释。我所干的事绝不可宽恕。
I ripped the phone from her hand,then from the socket — and hurled it across the room.
我当时一把从她手中夺过电话,拔出插座——把电话狠狠地扔到屋子的另一头。
"God damn you, Jenny! Why don't you get the hell out of my life!"
“你真该死,詹妮!你给我滚!”
I stood still, panting like the animal I had suddenly become. Jesus Christ! What the hell had happened to me? I turned to look at Jen.
我一动不动地站在那儿,好像突然变成了一头野兽在大口大口地喘着粗气。天哪!我这到底是怎么啦!我转身去看詹。
But she was gone.
但是她已经不在了。
I mean absolutely gone, because I didn't even hear footsteps on the stairs. Christ, she must have dashed out the instant I grabbed the phone. Even her coat and scarf were still there. The pain of not knowing what to do was exceeded only by that of knowing what I had done.
我是说,她已踪影全无,因为我连她下楼的脚步声也没听见。天哪,她准是在我抢电话的那一瞬间夺门而出的。连她的外套和围巾也没带上。一阵不知如何是好的痛楚,随即被一阵更为强烈的痛楚所代替——意识到自己竟然干出这等事儿来。
I searched everywhere.
我四处寻找。