To Err Is Not Only Human
(Originally in English)
Recently, there have been so many reports in the newspaper
about airplane crashes and people dying, that people think
airplanes are very unreliable. So the scientists and an aviation
company were cracking their heads trying to make a new
airplane that had no need for manpower; it was just
completely automatic and electronic, with computer voice
communication and all that.
So the first one ever was finally made. And everyone was
very excited; the passengers who came up to board it for the
first time were like the guests of honor. And they all came
aboard and then everything was done. The doors closed, and
they took off. When they were in mid-air already they heard
a voice, speaking from the loudspeaker: "Dear valued
customers, gentlemen and ladies. Welcome to the first ever
electronically controlled airplane. We are forever done with
human-controlled aircraft, because this is electronically piloted.
You will be safe and secure. So just fasten your seatbelts, sit
back and enjoy your trip. Because this is all electronically
controlled, nothing can ever go wrong, go wrong, go wrong,
go wrong, go wrong..." And then of course everyone panicked
and ran and tried to find a way to get out. But there came a
calm voice over the back-up system. It was a very calm, cool
and collected voice, saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, sit back.
There is nowhere to go but here and now." Then the same
voice said, "Please repeat after me, 'Our Father who are
in Heaven'..."
飞机也疯狂
最近因为有太多飞机事故及人员死亡的新闻报导,令大家觉得飞机很不可靠,所以科学家和航空公司绞尽脑汁,设计新型的无人驾驶飞机,完全自动化而且电子化,具备电脑语音沟通等设备。
第一架新型飞机终于完工推出,大家都很兴奋,首航的乘客都是备受礼遇的贵宾,登机后一切就绪,就关闭机门,正式起飞了。飞到半空中时,扩音器传出声音说:「各位贵宾,各位先生、女士们,欢迎搭乘第一架全电子控制的飞机。我们已经不再需要人力控制的飞机了,这架飞机是全电子控制,因此非常安全。请坐好、系好安全带,享受您的旅程。因为这架飞机是全电子控制,所以绝不会出错、出错、出错、出错、出错……」
大家当然都非常恐慌,四处跑着找逃生的出口,这时有一个平静的声音从备援系统传出来,语气十分镇定地说:「各位先生、女士们,请回座位,这里无处可逃。」然后同样的声音接着说:「请跟着我念:『我天上的父啊!……』」