[by:¿É¿ÉÓ¢Óï¡«www.utensil-race.com] [00:00.10] Next, we turn to the latest in our series Parenting Now. [00:03.37] Last night, we focused on concerns about raising girls and the ways our culture shapes their identity. [00:09.48] Tonight, we turn to questions about that challenge of raising boys. [00:13.57] In the classroom, it has long been a given that girls perform better than boys, but that academic achievement gap has now widened beyond elementary school level, [00:27.08] to high school and college, where experts are increasingly concerned that boys are falling behind. [00:34.55] When it comes to test scores, girls have essentially closed the math gap with boys. [00:40.35] But boys have not closed the reading gap with girls. [00:43.56] Reading scores show girls seven points ahead by fourth grade, a difference that grows to 10 points by eighth grade, [00:51.05] and remains there through high school. [00:54.01] Boys also lag when it comes to grade point averages, and in every state, they drop out of school at a slightly higher rate. [01:02.07] By the time they get to college, 57 percent of all bachelor's degrees are being awarded to women. [01:08.41] For boys who are poor and of color, the situation can be profoundly worse. [01:13.47] Black boys in public schools score almost 30 points lower on reading and math than white boys by fourth grade. [01:22.00] They account for one fifth of all school expulsions. [01:25.38] And dropout rates for Latino and African American boys are substantially worse. [01:30.26] T'Roya Jackson, who dropped out of high school in Washington, D.C., is raising a 2-year old son. [01:36.33] She says she realizes that education must be a higher priority for her child. [01:41.53] I 'm very concerned for him, especially in this day and age, especially for him being an African American male, [01:48.49] and just today, period. [01:51.56] It's crazy. [01:52.52] Statistics are only part of the story. [01:55.13] Educators, psychologists and child welfare experts are also concerned about the messages that boys get about masculinity. [02:02.55] Stop crying. [02:03.33] Stop with the tears. [02:04.19] do not cry. [02:05.06] That's the focus of an upcoming documentary called" The Mask You Live In." Its trailer was a viral hit. [02:12.03] In good times, guys are like really close to each other. [02:15.29] But when things get a little bit worse, you 're on your own. [02:18.05] From middle school, I had four really close friends. [02:21.07] But once I kind of went into high school, I struggled finding people I could talk to, [02:24.47] because I feel like I 'm not supposed to get help. [02:27.19] As government sponsored programs like the White House initiative's My Brother Keeper begin to shed a light on what is happening to boys, [02:34.45] parents are on the hunt for solutions. [02:38.04] So do these issues make it harder for parents to raise boys? [02:42.04] For that and more, I am joined by Michael Thompson, author of" It's a Boy" and" Raising Cain. [02:47.24]" He is a psychologist specializing in the emotional health of boys. [02:51.14] Christina Hoff Sommers, author of" The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men," she is a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute. [03:01.04] And Ashanti Branch, vice principal at Montera Middle School in California and founder of the Ever Forward Club, an after school program that helps minority boys succeed academically. [03:12.08] Christina Hoff Sommers, in a world that is ruled by men, why are we worried about boys? [03:16.09]" The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men": Well, it may be ruled by men, but boys are not in charge in school. [03:22.00] And they 're falling seriously behind girls, with no end in sight. [03:25.52] Why do you think that is? [03:27.20] I think it's complicated. [03:28.45] It turns out that the broken families have just a far worse effect on a young man's educational prospects. [03:36.14] We did not know that. [03:36.58] We 're now learning it. [03:38.08] Secondly, I think that our schools have become very accommodating to girls, almost places where, I think, [03:45.02] as Michael Thompson has said, the girls are the gold standard and boys are treated sort of as defective males. [03:50.17] And we have to meet boys halfway. [03:52.49] There are different ª we have to acknowledge that boys and girls are different, they have somewhat different needs. [03:57.26] And I think we 're doing a fairly good job meeting the needs of girls, and boys have been left behind. [04:02.46] Michael Thompson, let me ask you about that gold standard comment. [04:05.57] Is it true that girls are the gold standard? [04:08.32] And, if so, what are the obstacles that are being placed in the way of boys? [04:11.43]" Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys": Look, by school age, three quarters of boys are more physically active and more impulsive than any girls in the class. [04:19.33] It's very hard for teachers not to wish that the boys were a little bit more like girls and they could sit longer, [04:25.20] especially when teachers are under pressure to produce results in high stakes testing. [04:31.39] And so the inclination is to more seat time, more pressure, less recess. [04:37.02] And so they punish boys by taking recess away. [04:40.04] They do not let them move. [04:41.41] And then, all of a sudden, we have an epidemic of ADHD, with boys who are feeling like school is jail and that they 're constantly in trouble. [04:50.32] Ashanti Branch, let me give a real time check. [04:54.30] You are dealing with boys every day. [04:56.11] You 're in the classroom, have been for more than a decade. [04:58.46] How much of this issue is academic and how much of it is emotional and ª or are they the same thing? [05:05.48] You know, I worked high school teaching math for 10 years. [05:09.25] And I realized that there was something happening. [05:12.55] I never really knew why the men seem to have such a challenge with the spatial issue, [05:20.06] with the sitting still and focusing. [05:22.51] But I realized ª I went through a training called" Boys and Girls Learn Differently." And from there, [05:28.05] learning how the brain differences are happening between boys and girls helped me really become clearer about that worked. [05:34.15] Doing the work, after school program, and doing the mentoring, that is a different type of style. [05:38.56] So, we always do fun first. [05:40.14] We do fun so they can get all the energy out. [05:42.52] Then we can sit down and talk about things. [05:44.27] But, as a math teacher, it was a very different interest. [05:47.43] Right now at a middle school, the boys are getting in trouble a lot more often. [05:51.50] They are definitely having a lot more challenge with focusing and disturbing others and bothering each other. [05:58.20] So, there's a lot more challenges for them. [06:00.28] Mr. Branch, I 'm curious whether part of this is that boys are rewarded for ª among each other for literally being too cool for school, [06:09.16] for not being that invested or thinking there's much reward in academic achievement. [06:15.10] You know, when I started the program, it was for that reason. [06:17.49] I had smart boys in my class who were failing. [06:21.00] And I said, why are you all failing my class? [06:23.20] Like, I 'm here for you to be successful. [06:26.21] And they ª they said, well, you do not get respect walking around with a big heavy backpack. [06:31.59] That's not cool. [06:33.17] Right? [06:33.26] So, if you are going to be cool, you have got to act certain ways and you can not be too smart. [06:37.37] And so we began to try and figure out strategies for them to be able to not only be successful, [06:42.12] but also feel like they were being cool to who they were trying to impress, which, [06:46.48] for most times, the girls. [06:48.25] Christina Hoff Sommers, in your book, or your article about this, in your writing about this, you have said feminism is to blame. [06:55.17] What do you mean? [06:55.36] Oh, yes. [06:56.29] That was a bit of a misunderstanding, because I said how misguided feminist policies have harmed our young mean. [07:01.49] I did not mean to impugn feminism. [07:03.16] And I think people thought that is what I was saying. [07:05.24] Well, tell me what you did mean. [07:06.20] What I did mean is that there ª that women's groups organized, and they rallied around girls in areas where girls genuinely needed help, [07:16.34] math and science. [07:17.39] And a lot of what they did was very good. [07:19.51] But, at the same time, they carried a message that, oh, boys are not in trouble. [07:23.32] The patriarchy has their back, they are fine. [07:26.17] They were not fine. [07:27.39] And so boys were neglected. [07:29.52] And so it was a misguided application of feminism, not feminism itself ª misguided. [07:35.14] And the idea that almost ª sometimes there are some women's groups that gave the idea that, [07:39.57] oh, well, there are two teams, the men's teams and the women's team, and we have got to root for the women. [07:44.05] Well, I think that we 're all in this together. [07:46.42] Who was doing the neglecting? [07:48.12] You say boys were neglected. [07:49.21] Was it being done in a classroom? [07:51.00] Was it being done at home? [07:52.11] I think it was groups. [07:53.41] There were certain groups, the American Association of University Women. [07:56.10] I do not want to impugn them, because they did a lot to help girls. [07:58.53] But they sort of covered up the problems with boys. [08:01.36] I think when we first discovered how salient gender is in education, we did a good job addressing the girls ' issues and neglected the boys. [08:08.58] Michael Thompson, let's talk about that, because this series is about parenting. [08:12.39] And I do wonder what parents ' role is in this underachievement we have been talking about. [08:19.11] Gwen, parents tell me all the time that they had not understood how hard it was for boys in school until they had a boy. [08:25.07] Moms are telling me this. [08:26.50] Boys often feel that school is set against them. [08:30.21] And by second or third grade, they have taken their soul out of school. [08:33.44] And it's with their town team, the thing that their father comes to watch. [08:37.47] And they think, all right, I can be a boy and a man outside of school, but school is going to pin me down and make me feel bad. [08:46.27] I had an educator tell me, boys in 1,000 years would never have invented school. [08:51.35] But what goes on in the subject matter is always interesting to them. [08:55.29] So, we have to find a way to use teamwork, movement, competition, a public product. [09:02.19] We have to get boys up and energized. [09:05.20] There are too many teachers who worship the quiet solo learner who puts a nice border around the paper and hands it in and wants to please the teacher. [09:15.52] Boys are often pleasing themselves, that is, pleasing their group. [09:20.05] And so if you can get boys to work as a team, if you can get them to compete, [09:26.09] they are more energized and they will do better academically. [09:30.15] People say, well, boys do not like to write. [09:32.16] But they will write a screenplay and film it and show it. [09:35.24] They will do that with great enthusiasm. [09:37.44] Ashanti Branch, is that your experience as well? [09:40.58] Yes, absolutely. [09:41.39] I think what's happening in a lot of the classrooms is that students are ª the young men, [09:46.35] they are fidgeting and they 're moving and they 're making noise because their desk is crickety. [09:51.23] And so, therefore, the teacher is feeling like, why are you disturbing the rest of the class? [09:55.11] And they 're just ª their bodies just do not want to sit still. [09:58.01] And I think that one of the challenges is that teachers say, be still, and their brain is saying, [10:02.12] I need to move. [10:02.54] And that's a hard battle right there. [10:04.34] That's a battle. [10:05.17] As an educator, when I 'm in a meeting for longer than an hour, I need to move. [10:09.12] So, for students, for these young ones who are ª their brains are moving, developing very fast, [10:14.13] their bodies are ready for a lot of energy, and to be sedentary is driving them up the wall, [10:21.17] and which is definitely creating a challenge with the teachers. [10:23.50] And then they come to my office and I 'm like, well, what happened? [10:25.52] And they say, well, I fell out of my seat, right? [10:28.25] And so it's like, all these things that are happening with them is things that we got to find way of supporting them in the way they learn. [10:35.09] How much of this is exacerbated, Christina Hoff Sommers, by the growth in single parent families, by absence of fathers in this? [10:43.49] Yes. [10:44.04] An excellent study by a think tank, Third Way, it's conservative and liberal researchers coming together to find solutions. [10:50.40] And what they found was that, in a family with a single mom, for some reason, [10:56.10] the girl is inspired. [10:57.26] The mother is her role model. [10:58.50] Now, boys love their moms, but the mom is not the role model. [11:02.18] And so he tends to turns away and withdraw. [11:04.57] And what happens is, we have a large ª a growing number of boys who are alienated from education. [11:11.14] They do not have male role models to emulate. [11:14.08] They tend to go with their peers. [11:16.39] And so they ª that is just another dimension of the problem. [11:19.44] Michael Thompson, I am a single mother or a married mother trying to raise a boy, what are the tips you give to try to get around some of these pitfalls? [11:28.23] Well, first, you have to trust boy development. [11:30.48] Boy development is slower than girl development. [11:33.11] Girls are ahead, obviously, in early adolescence. [11:39.22] And boys are taking longer to catch up. [11:42.00] But if you can ignite their enthusiasm and their passion, they will do work for you. [11:47.46] If you constantly discipline them, suspend them, expel them ª and we have a lot of evidence that the zero tolerance policies fell very heavily on boys, [11:59.06] and they did not help. [12:01.25] So, we have to get more teachers who are good with boys. [12:05.25] And that can be women, but it would be helpful if we had more men in school. [12:09.07] It would be helpful if we had more programs for fathers to come into school. [12:13.51] But we also have to teach people that boy development, their activity and the kind of stories that they love, [12:20.47] the kind of adventure and science fiction and superpowers that they love are not dangerous, not leading to violence. [12:27.32] There are too many people who think that everything boys seem to love is dangerous. [12:33.22] Michael Thompson, Christina Hoff Sommers, Ashanti Branch, thank you all very much for an interesting conversation. [12:40.48] Thank you. [12:41.24] Thank you. [12:42.13] There's more from Michael Thompson online. [12:44.03] He and author Marie Rocker Jones put together 10 tips for helping boys achieve their academic potential.