Well, it's not quite... we're not enemies, right? You assume that everything is normal and that you know what's happening. But really underneath, there's some kind of problem, some kind of complication is maybe a better word that you don't expect.

Yeah, can you give us some like specific examples so that we can get a feel of it?

Yeah, one very good example that I've come across several times because it's such a habit of mine is greetings.

So in the UK is perfectly normal, especially in the north of the UK where I'm from, to say, are you all right as a greeting, right? Are you all right?

That's not just in the north. I hear people say that a lot in London or around London as well. I that used to confuse me because in my book, when you ask people, are you all right as a way of greeting, it sounds like you assume that I'm ill.

Right. And so the Americans feel the same way as you. It implies there's something wrong. Like, are you okay as if they've had an accident or fallen over or something has happened or they look very ill or something, I remember just 2 or 3 days ago, I went to a social event.

And I saw somebody that I had met once before and I thought I'll go and talk to him, and I walked up to him and said, “are you all right?”, and he looked at me, and he said I'm fine. What's wrong? You know, as if there was some big thing I needed to talk to him about.

Then I had to explain to him. No no, I'm just saying hi, right? That's the way it goes. It's interesting because you get different advice from different Americans you know. So Americans they don't say are you all right? They say how are you? how's it going? something like this.

Yeah.

But then what you say to that, do you actually reply and say how you feel or do you say nothing?

I think it's just fine, right? In British culture is when they ask you how are you, they expect you to say I'm fine. Like I'm okay, I'm doing well. They don't expect you to tell them exactly how you feel, even if you feel bad that day, even if you feel a bit under the weather, you don't say, in British culture you don't like announced that because that was not expected.

Yeah, there's maybe let's say like ten, maybe if I'm lucky 20 people in the world, when they ask me if I'm all right or if they ask me how it's going, that I will say to them a genuine answer, I'll say it's going okay or I'll say not so good today, but I’ll live or something.

But one thing that's very common in the UK is that you give some kind of comical answer or something that's a little bit unusual difference. So I remember I went into the office and saw one of the members of staff and they asked me how I was, and I said I must be fine because my heart is still beating. And they look very confused by that. I feel like in the UK you can get away with these kind of slightly maybe eccentric responses. The British eccentric it's...

Just like British humor is very very dry, I think that's the thing. British humor does not translate very well into American humor. I don't think to the general public, maybe in certain crowds, but certainly not in general public.

It's true that the Americans seem to really like to signpost that they're making a joke.

So everybody knows, you know, from the tone of voice, from the body language that it's big and it's a joke and it's exciting. Whereas, yeah, the English kind of like to slide the jokes in to normal conversation and say something counter intuitive. And it's like a landmine.

Yeah, I mean that is absolutely correct now that you mention it. It's like British people consider telling a joke, if you want a joke to really be appreciated or to really be a good joke, you want to be a little bit like poker faced. You don't want to laugh when you're telling the joke. It's almost like American humor is more out there. It’s more like nudge nudge, wink, wink. You know it's a joke, sort of deal.

That's perfect. The nudge, nudge, wink, wink. That's a perfect description of the way the Americans like to do it.

What about lifestyle? Do you feel like there's any difference or anything sort of surprises you?

Yeah, and I hope none of my American friends and colleagues listen to the next part, but there are many good things about America. But I think the big one is the one that surprised me and I knew everyone says America revolves around cars and the whole culture is very car based.

And I knew that, but when I came, I was just so surprised you know, like there's no pavement or a sidewalk as they call it here on my road. There's no place to walk, there's just a place for cars and there's no place for walking. And you don't drive. Yeah, I cycle everywhere here. I'm lucky it's so small, right? It's just tiny place, so you can just cycle everywhere. It's very easy.

But how much everything revolves around cars is really hard to underestimate. Like every restaurant seems to have a drive through option of some description or some parking for pick up. I see. Yeah, that the size of the cars.

I think it's like considering the size of the country and perhaps some like infrastructural reasons. You probably really need to drive unless you just staying put in your little town. If you want to go anywhere, you probably need to drive. Having said that are you gonna learn how to drive or can you drive?

So I have been in a car and driven it around before.

Ok.

Yeah, I don't have a car here or driver's license. So it's just a case of slowly trying to learn the written test. But I also I kind of don't want to become part of this car culture. Some part of me likes the fact that I cycle. It feels somehow it's strange because it feels like it's a kind of freedom, because Americans seem so tied to these cars that are more like houses. It's like a sofa with two chairs in a giant metal cage. And the sound system is better than the sound system in their house. They often they have like a screen on that can have movies and the chairs are heated and the other sent the air conditioning again is amazing.

So the kind of like... And they talk about cars a lot as well.

Right. It's like the kind of moving house almost. I'm not sure I wanna be part of that. It's interesting because they say public transport here is amazing. But compared to Manchester, London, Paris, Shanghai, Beijing, the cities that I've lived in, you know, for more than a few couple of weeks and Guangzhou as well, they like... it’s nothing right? They're so proud that the bus comes once every half an hour on time and I think I'll just take it. This is like yeah, so different, so different.

It's a little bit of like a small town mentality as well. I think it's also because the place that you're in. Obviously, if you go to university in like New York City, it's definitely gonna be different. But that sounds like a very interesting experience. And some of these I sort of expected that you would feel like that. There are other bits that I found very interesting or a little bit surprising to say at least.

Now as we're coming to the end of this long catch up, I just want to ask you, you know once I've read it somewhere that doing a PhD is perhaps one of the most stressful things anyone can do entire life. It's right up there with some of the very very stressful experiences in anybody's life. So looking ahead, you have 7 years of this. How do you feel? Does it do you feel overwhelmed at all or just completely excited about the whole experience?

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed if I have like tons of reading to do for the next day or tons of writing to do for the next day. It is hard to organize.

But I remember one of my professors said to me, if you wanna do a PhD, either got to be crazy about your subject or just crazy. And I feel like I'm lucky because I'm crazy about my subject and I'm also a bit crazy as well, right? So I've got both of the key things that you need to do PhD.

Yeah, but you didn’t...are sort of the nice type of crazy. In that way I'm a bit crazy as well. I think that's a very good summary. You gotta be crazy about your subject or just playing crazy. And thank you TJ for coming back to the studio and share with us your life updates.

And I'm sure in the coming days, we are gonna try to bug you when you are less busy, when you are less stressed out and talk about some philosophical topics.

My life, at least now is getting more of a schedule.

So that's really good in terms of being able to catch up with old friends, right? I'm sure we'll talk a lot more about what you've been up to after this session as well.

And I know you will never say no to a talk about philosophy.

Exactly right. Like I said, a bit crazy you know.

Yeah, all right. On that note, we're gonna wrap up here. If you guys have anything to say or to ask about TJ’s new life in America, leave us a comment in the comment section. I will see you in our philosophy talks.

Thank you for having me.

I'll see you next time. Bye.

Bye bye.