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- Remember Howie Mandel, "Deal or No Deal"?
-还记得豪伊·曼德尔，“成交还是不成交”？
It's not so funny now that this could happen to something so serious, like your relationship and your intimate significant other, or is it?
这样的事情发生在很严肃的事情上就不好玩了，比如你们的关系和你们亲密的另一半，对吧?
Red flags can make or break your potential relationship.
危险信号可以成就或破坏你潜在的关系。
And here are seven red flags to watch out for:
这里有七个需要注意的危险信号：
Number 1: Your core values don't align with each other.
第一：你们的核心价值观不一致。
It's one thing when you don't enjoy the same food or activities, but it's another thing when you both disagree on certain values.
当你们不喜欢相同的食物或活动时，这是一回事，但当你们在某些价值观上存在分歧时，那就是另一回事了。
For example, how money or time should be spent.
例如，应该如何花费金钱或度过时间。
People get into relationships for the wrong reasons all the time.
人们总是因为错误的原因进入一段感情。
In general, people are driven by sexual attraction, but we disregard whether the person is good for us in the long run;
一般来说，人们被性吸引所驱使，但我们忽略了这个人从长远来看是否对我们有好处;
Number 2: You stop laughing together.
第二：你们不再一起大笑了。
When the honeymoon phase is fizzling out, do you suddenly realize that they're no longer such a comedian and the jokes and topics are actually not so funny or sexy?
当蜜月期即将结束时，你会不会突然意识到，他们不再是那样的喜剧演员了，笑话和话题其实也不那么有趣或性感了？
Noted by UC Berkeley psychology professor, Dacher Keltner, for couples who divorced on average 13.9 years after they were married, it was the absence of laughter that predicted the end of their bond;
加州大学伯克利分校的心理学教授达切尔·凯尔特纳指出，对于那些平均在婚后13.9年就离婚的夫妇来说，笑声的消失预示着他们关系的结束;
Number 3: You have different lifestyles and goals.
第三：你们有不同的生活方式和目标。
As mentioned before, if you like dogs and they like cats, then that's okay.
如前所述，如果你喜欢狗，他们喜欢猫，那也没问题。
But if you like crocheting at home and playing with your cat while watching Netflix, and they need to hang out with their bros, going barhopping and tailgating all the time,
但是，如果你喜欢在家里编织，一边看网飞剧，一边和你的猫玩耍，而他们需要和他们的兄弟们一起出去玩，总是去酒吧，总是跟着他们的兄弟；
or if you ultimately want to build a family and live in a white-picketed house with kids running around, and they wanna be the next Charlie Sheen, then it's probably not the best match;
或者，如果你最终想建立一个家庭，住在围着白色尖木桩的房子里，孩子们跑来跑去，他们想成为下一个查理·辛，那么你们可能不是最好的搭配;
Number 4: You don't trust each other.
第四：你们不信任对方。
Do you genuinely believe what they say?
你真的相信他们说的话吗？
How much of what they say triggers an alarm?
他们说的话中有多少会触发警报？
Do their actions align with their words?
他们的言行一致吗？
Do you stalk their social media for countless hours trying to figure out if they're honest, or vice versa?
你是否会花无数个小时跟踪他们的社交媒体，试图弄清楚他们是否诚实，或者他们对你也是这样？
This is a huge red flag.
这是一个巨大的危险信号。
Number 5: You're both toxic to each other.
第五：你们对彼此都是有害的。
No one is perfect. Everyone has a story.
人无完人。每个人都有自己的故事。
Everyone is flawed in their own ways and that's okay.
每个人都有自己的缺点，这没什么。
What matters is that we're able to be a support for each other or to our own healing.
重要的是我们能够相互支持，或者治愈我们自己的创伤。
However, if we're not aware of our trauma and triggers, we may unconsciously end up being toxic to one another.
然而，如果我们没有意识到我们的创伤和诱因，我们可能会在不知不觉中对彼此造成伤害。
Number 6: Either one of you is not committed.
第六：你们两个中的任何一个人都没有作出承诺。
Successful relationships require commitment.
成功的关系需要承诺。
Sometimes our past trauma make us feel broken or insecure.
有时，我们过去的创伤会让我们感到支离破碎或没有安全感。
We may have unresolved trust issues or a fear of intimacy.
我们可能有未解决的信任问题或对亲密的恐惧。
If that's the case, it's important to address them together or seek professional couple counseling;
如果是这样的话，重要的是一起解决他们的问题，或者寻求专业的夫妻咨询；
And number 7: You don't see a future together.
第七点：你们看不到在一起的未来。
Even though you're happy together now, perhaps you don't really see a future together.
即使你们现在在一起很幸福，也许你们确实没有看到在一起的未来。
Perhaps your goals and theirs don't align anymore.
也许你的目标和他们的目标不再一致。
Perhaps there's someone out there better for one of you.
也许还有更适合你们的人。
You start questioning things.
你开始质疑一些事情。
While it's normal to have what-ifs in a relationship, it's another thing if you can't picture this person in your future.
虽然在一段关系中有假设是正常的，但如果你不能想象这个人在你未来的样子，那就是另一回事了。
If you identify with some of these red flags, it's best to communicate them as early as possible to your partner.
如果你发现了这些危险信号，最好尽早和你的伴侣沟通。
You might risk losing your relationship right away, but at least you will know whether your partner is ready to address the issues together.
你可能会冒着立即失去关系的风险，但至少你会知道你的伴侣是否准备好一起解决这些问题。
If possible, couples counseling is not a bad idea these days.
如果可能的话，现在夫妻咨询是个不错的主意。
Do you relate to any of these signs?
你有这些迹象吗?
Can you share your stories below on how you may have overcome some of these red flags?
你能在下面分享一下你如何克服这些危险信号的故事吗?
If you like our content, be sure to like this video and subscribe to "Psych2Go."
如果你喜欢我们的内容，请点赞本期视频并订阅Psych2Go。
As always, thanks so much for watching and we'll see you next time.
一如既往，感谢收看，我们下期见。
