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One of the odder features of self-hatred is that the affliction may escape our notice for the greater part of our lives.
自我憎恨的一个奇怪特征是，这种痛苦可能在我们生命的大部分时间里都没有引起我们的注意。
We may simply not be aware that we don’t like ourselves very much - even as the sickness of self-hatred wreaks its havoc across a range of psychological situations and opportunities.
我们可能只是没有意识到我们不太喜欢自己——即使自我憎恨的疾病在一系列心理状况和机会中造成了严重破坏。
Though we are relentless scrutinisers of others, we seldom pause to give a unitary verdict on what we make of our own characters.
尽管我们对别人总是无情的审视，但我们很少停下来对自己的性格做出统一的判断。
We may recognise our approval or distaste of ourselves in relation to specific actions;
我们可能会意识到我们在具体行动上对自我的认可或厌恶；
we will know when we are - for example - cross about being slow to complete a task or when we are pleased to have won a colleague’s approval
例如，当我们对完成一项任务的速度感到不满时，或者当我们为获得同事的认可而感到高兴时，
but we are on the whole uninclined to step far back and consider ourselves in totality, as we might a stranger.
但总的来说，我们不愿意退后一步，把自己看作一个整体，就像我们可能是一个陌生人一样。
We are too involved with ourselves on an ongoing basis to assess the sharper outlines of our own characters.
我们持续关注自我，以至于无法对自己的性格做出更清晰的评价。
There are few occasions when we are summoned to ask whether we essentially like the person we are.
很少有场合，我们会被要求问自己是否真的喜欢现在的自己。
As a result, our self-suspicion tends to linger in undiagnosed forms.
因此，我们的自我怀疑往往会以未经诊断的形式挥之不去。
We miss the extent to which we can suffer from endemic self-loathing - and how a once acceptable and perhaps invigorating form of self-questioning has turned into a lacerating sequence of attacks on everything we are and do.
我们忽略了我们可以忍受的自我特有的厌恶程度——也忽略了曾经可以接受的、或许是令人振奋的自我反省形式，是如何变成了对我们的存在和所作所为的一系列痛苦的攻击。
We may - paradoxically - be at once highly depressed about ourselves - and oblivious that we are so.
矛盾的是，我们可能会立刻对自己感到极度沮丧，却忘记了我们是如此。
In order to know what we are up against, we should take a measure of our sense of self.
为了知道我们面对的是什么，我们应该衡量一下我们的自我意识。
For this, there may be no better move than to resort to that clumsiest but simple and most helpful of psychological tools, the questionnaire.
为此，可能没有比求助于最笨拙但最简单、最有帮助的心理工具--问卷调查更好的办法了。
We can ask to what extent we might agree with the following sentences on a scale of one to ten, ten meaning very much, zero indicating not at all.
我们可以问一下，在1到10的范围内，我们会在多大程度上同意下面句子的说法，10表示非常同意，0表示完全不同意。
- If people knew who I really was, they would be horrified.
-如果人们知道我的真实身份，他们会吓坏的。
- The inside of me is appalling.
-我的内心是可怕的。
- Often, I can’t bear who I am.
-通常，我无法忍受我是谁
- I’m disgusting.
-我真恶心.
- I’m shameful - I’m weak - Others have a good cause to hate and harm me
-我很可耻-我很软弱-别人有充分的理由仇恨和伤害我
- It’s only a matter of time before terrible things happen to me, given who I am.
-因为我是这样的人，可怕的事情发生在我身上只是个时间问题
- I’m sexually revolting
-我在性方面令人厌恶
- I am physically repulsive
-我的身材令人厌恶
- I am unworthy of being forgiven
-我不值得被原谅
- I am a fitting target for ridicule
-我是一个合适的嘲笑目标
- I am bound to fail
-我注定会失败
- I don’t deserve much sympathy
-我不值得太多的同情
- People often see me in the street and feel contempt.
-人们经常在街上看到我，会感到轻蔑。
- I have acted badly across my whole life
-我一生都在做错事
- There is something fundamentally wrong with me.
-我有根本性的问题
We don’t need to do careful sums to arrive at an indicative picture at speed.
我们不需要做仔细的计算就能快速描绘出一幅指示性的图画。
Some of us will be reaching for tens on pretty much every occasion; others - blessedly - will be puzzled by the whole exercise.
我们中的一些人几乎在每道题都能得到10分；幸运的是，其他人会对整个问卷感到困惑。
This book is not for them.
这本书不适合他们。
If we find ourselves reaching for high numbers, we may be tempted to come to a powerful yet entirely mistaken conclusion: that we are terrible people.
如果我们发现自己得分很高，我们可能会忍不住得出一个强有力但完全错误的结论：我们是糟糕的人。
The reality is at once less personally damning and far more redemptive: we aren’t so terrible at all, we are just very ill.
现实不再是对个人的谴责，而是更多的救赎：我们一点也不糟糕，我们只是病得很重。
The questionnaire is telling us about an affliction, not about our past or what we deserve or who we really are.
问卷判断出我们正身处痛苦，而不是关于我们的过去，我们应得的，或者我们到底是谁。
The very extremity of our answers should signal that something is afoot that far exceeds what any human is ever owed.
获得答案极其高分应该表明，有些事情正在进行中，远远超出了任何人所欠的。
We aren’t intolerably wicked; we are in the grip of a cruel sickness which systematically destroys any confidence or generosity we might feel towards ourselves.
我们并没有邪恶到无法忍受的地步；我们正处于一种残酷的疾病中，这种疾病系统地摧毁了我们对自我可能感受到的任何信心或慷慨。
We are treating ourselves with a violence and pitilessness we wouldn’t think of bestowing upon our worst enemies.
我们对待自己的暴力和无情是我们从未想过给予我们最大的敌人的。
We have, somehow, unbeknownst to us, ended up considering the person we have to accompany through life with an unparalleled degree of coldness and disdain.
不知何故，我们在不知情的情况下，以一种前所未有的冷漠和蔑视来对待我们必须一生相伴的人。
It is time to come to terms with our suffering - and to refuse the delusion and meanness of self-hatred.
是时候接受我们的痛苦了，是时候拒绝自我憎恨这种错觉和卑鄙行径了。
