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In a perfect world, when it came to choosing an occupation, we would have only two priorities in mind:
在一个完美的世界里，当谈到选择职业时，我们心中只有两个优先事项：
firstly to find a job that we enjoyed and secondly to find a job that paid us enough to cover reasonable material needs.
第一，找到一份我们喜欢的工作；第二，找到一份报酬足以满足合理物质需求的工作。
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But in order to think so freely, we would have to be emotionally balanced in a way that few of us are.
但为了自由思考，我们必须在情感上保持平衡，而我们中很少有人能做到这一点。
In reality, when it comes to choosing an occupation, we tend to be haunted by three additional priorities.
事实上，当我们在选择职业时，我们往往会被三个额外的优先事项所困扰。
We need: - to find a job that will pay not just enough to cover reasonable material expenses but a lot more besides, enough to impress other people - even other people we don’t like very much.
我们需要:-找到一份不仅能支付合理的物质费用，而且还能给别人留下深刻印象的工作，即使是那些我们不太喜欢的人。
- we crave to find a job that will allow us not to be at the mercy of other people, whom we may deep down fear and distrust.
-我们渴望找到一份工作，这样我们就不会受到他人的摆布，我们可能会很害怕和不信任这个人。
- and we hope for a job that will make us well known, esteemed, honoured and perhaps famous, so that we will never again have to feel small or neglected.
-我们希望找到一份能让我们出名、受人尊敬、受人尊敬，甚至可能出名的工作，这样我们就再也不会感到渺小或被忽视了。
Needless to say, these three additional requirements make working life hugely more complicated and unhappy than it would otherwise have needed to be.
不用说，这三个额外的要求使工作生活比原本需要的更加复杂和不快乐。
No wonder we may get stuck choosing what to do.
难怪我们可能会被困在选择做什么事情上。
Rather than being able to focus on the jobs that we are passionate about and that we would intrinsically enjoy, we have to twist our natures to appease extrinsic imperatives.
我们不能专注于我们热爱的工作，也不能专注于我们本质上喜欢的工作，而是必须扭曲我们的本性，以满足外在的需求。
There is no way that we could, for example, work as a kindergarten teacher, a psychotherapist, a carpenter or a cook.
例如，我们不可能做幼儿园老师、心理治疗师、木匠或厨师。
Our psychological drive to impress, to have power over others and to be known to strangers preclude such relatively modest choices from the outset.
从一开始，我们的心理驱动力就是要给人留下深刻印象，要凌驾于他人之上，要让陌生人认识我们，这就排除了这种相对温和的选择。
The state of our psyches means that we have to aim for far more stellar careers, even in fields we really don’t much like and may have to work much harder than is good for our health or our families.
我们的心理状态意味着我们必须以更出色的职业为目标，即使是在我们真的不太喜欢的领域，而且可能不得不更加努力地工作，而不是为了我们的健康或家庭。
We are prone to be constantly panicked - because the bar for ‘failing’ is so much higher.
我们容易不断地惊慌失措--因为“失败”的门槛要高得多。
A slight wind of disapproval from the public might be experienced as appalling, a bit less money than the astronomical sum we made last year will register as fateful.
来自公众的轻微不满可能会令人震惊，比我们去年赚的天文数字还要少一点就会被认为是致命的。
Under pressure, we may make unwise and hasty moves, we might cut corners, involve ourselves in risky schemes and not give our work the time and calm it needs.
在压力下，我们可能会采取不明智和仓促的行动，我们可能会走捷径，参与危险的计划，而不给我们的工作所需的时间和冷静。
What would enable us to make the right career choices is something that seems, on the face of it, to have nothing to do with work at all:
能让我们做出正确职业选择的是，从表面上看，似乎与工作完全无关的东西：
love, a profound experience of love in both childhood and adulthood.
爱，一种童年和成年时期对爱的深刻体验。
A child who is properly loved is a creature who doesn’t need to prove itself in any significant way.
一个被爱得恰到好处的孩子是不需要用任何重要的方式来证明自己。
It doesn’t have to excel at school, dazzle acquaintances or shore up a parent’s fragile sense of esteem
它不一定要在学校出类拔萃，不一定要让熟人为之惊叹，也不一定要支撑家长脆弱的自尊感
(it may do well at school any way but because it enjoys the work, not because it has to boost a parent).
(它可能无论如何都会在学校表现很好，但因为它喜欢工作，而不是因为它必须激励家长)。
It can find its way to its own pleasures, it doesn’t need to amaze; because it’s special enough just by existing.
它可以找到自己的快乐之路，它不需要让人惊奇；因为它仅仅存在就足够特别了。
It may end up working extremely hard, but it will do so because it is passionate, not because it craves applause.
它可能最终会非常努力地工作，但它会这样做是因为它充满激情，而不是因为它渴望掌声。
It can concentrate on doing a job very well, while unimpeded by any worries as to whether it will be known in 100 years or to people in another city.
它可以专注于把一项工作做得很好，而不受任何顾虑的影响，无论它是在100年后才会为人所知，还是为另一个城市的人所知。
It can potter away in obscurity, deriving gratification from the business at hand.
它可以默默无闻地溜走，从手头的业务中获得满足感。
An experience of adult love further enhances a requisite sense of security.
成人恋爱的经历进一步增强了必要的安全感。
When someone properly loves us, their patience, concern and tenderness make us feel rooted and welcome on the earth.
当有人恰如其分地爱我们时，他们的耐心、关心和温柔会让我们觉得扎根在地球上，受到欢迎。
It doesn’t really matter if no one knows who we are and if there is very little left over at the end of the month.
如果没有人知道我们是谁，如果月底只剩下很少的东西，这真的无关紧要。
‘Two people who are in love will be happy to sleep on a park bench,’ wrote D.H.Lawrence,
“两个相爱的人会很乐意睡在公园的长椅上，”劳伦斯写道，
an idea which may not be literally true, but which conveys well enough what room for manoeuvre love gives us in relation to our material priorities
这个想法可能不完全正确，但它很好地表达了爱情在我们的物质优先级方面给了我们多大的回旋余地
It follows that when people crave power, fortune and fame,
由此得出的结论是，当人们渴望权力、财富和名气时，
it isn’t greed that is driving them, but an anguished feeling of being unloved - for which we can feel enormous compassion.
驱使他们的不是贪婪，而是一种没有被爱的痛苦感觉--为此我们可以感受到极大的同情。
They look like winners, they are in reality unhappy victims.
他们看起来像赢家，实际上却是不幸的受害者。
Excessive achievements are the legacy of an emotionally damaged sense that it isn’t enough just to be.
过多的成就是一种情感受损感的产物，即仅仅如此是不够的。
It may have become second nature to us to try to fix emotional wounds through our career choices and exploits.
试图通过我们的职业选择和功绩来修复情感创伤，这可能已经成为我们的第二天性。
We may not even realise what we are up to.
我们甚至可能没有意识到我们在做什么。
We should dare to ask: what might I have done with my life if I had felt properly loved from the start?
我们应该敢于问：如果我从一开始就感受到了恰如其分的爱，我的生活会是怎么样的？
And we may have to acknowledge, with tears in our eyes, how different our path would have been, how many genuine ambitions we sacrificed in the name of shoring up a sense of acceptability we should have had from infancy.
我们可能不得不含着泪水承认，我们的道路会有多么不同，我们牺牲了多少真正的雄心壮志，为了巩固一种我们从婴儿时期就应该拥有的认同感。
The most astonishing career achievements will never compensate anyone for the lack of love they have suffered: work cannot fix a deficit of love.
最惊人的职业成就永远不会补偿任何人所遭受的爱的缺失：工作无法弥补爱的缺失。
We should enjoy work on its own terms and, in another part of our lives, mourn and seek redemptive substitutes for the love we originally we lacked.
我们应该按照自己的方式享受工作，在我们生活的另一部分，为我们最初所缺乏的爱哀悼并寻求救赎的替代品。
